2 Year Old and Bedtime

[Aliyahsmommy]

I am in need of bedtime advice. For the last 6 months or so my daughter has fallen asleep in our bed and then been moved to her bed and then she sometimes re-joins us in the middle of the night.
About 6 months ago she also dropped her nap. Not so much that she didn't need it as she would sleep 3 hours, but more so because it wasn't worth the fight. I tried laying her in my bed with me, TV on and TV off, reading books etc but usually I would fall asleep and she would still be awake
As far as night-time we tried bath and book and laying next to her bed holding her hand, but it was taking hours for her to go to sleep and it was draining on me. She would cry that she wanted to cuddle, go in our room, watch TV, go potty, have a drink, have a snack etc.
Problem is that she stays up until 10pm-midnight every night and sometimes I just want to go to sleep but can't until she is ready. Not to mention that leaves me absolutely no time for myself. I was wondering what other moms do to get their kids to sleep at a decent hour in their own bed? What do you do when they cry? Thoughts about Supernanny's method?

[limette]

Have you tried putting her to bed earlier?

Both mine (2 and 4) we staying up later than I preferred (9 and 11pm), never appearing tired until really late. Of course when we tried putting them to bed they would stay up even longer, fidgeting around and doing whatever they could to avoid sleep.

We pulled their bedtimes back to 7pm and 8:30pm and now they fall asleep after 5-10 minutes of laying in bed with them. I was shocked the first time I tried it.

It seems like the later they were staying up the more wired they became and the harder it was to get them to stay still long enough to pass out.

The youngest occasionally has a big fit when I get her ready for bed, crying and such but I just snuggle with her like usual and she passes out straight away.

[Aliyahsmommy]

Originally Posted by limette

Have you tried putting her to bed earlier?

Both mine (2 and 4) we staying up later than I preferred (9 and 11pm), never appearing tired until really late. Of course when we tried putting them to bed they would stay up even longer, fidgeting around and doing whatever they could to avoid sleep.

We pulled their bedtimes back to 7pm and 8:30pm and now they fall asleep after 5-10 minutes of laying in bed with them. I was shocked the first time I tried it.

It seems like the later they were staying up the more wired they became and the harder it was to get them to stay still long enough to pass out.

The youngest occasionally has a big fit when I get her ready for bed, crying and such but I just snuggle with her like usual and she passes out straight away.

Update:
So the first night we did bath, book, and short program and then I tried to just put her in her bed and sit in the hallway. That worked for only a couple minutes and then came the crying and saying "cuddle" over and over again. I spent 10 minutes just leading her back to bed, but I did feel bad that she was crying. So ultimately I carried her to my room and let her cuddle in my bed in the dark where she promptly fell asleep and then I moved her to her room. She was in bed by 9:30pm.

Tonight same routine except the first time she came out of her room we went straight to my room to cuddle and 15 minutes later she was asleep and I moved her into her own room. This was at 8:30pm! Victory!

My goal is to get dd in bed at 8pm...we shall try for that tomorrow.

I would still welcome any other suggestions

[nina_yyc]

My DD is a little older but I do not stay and cuddle or stay in the room unless she is still and quiet and trying to go to sleep. I tell her that I see she needs some time to settle down and I'll come back to check on her. When I stayed with her undconditionally she would often fidget for way too long.

On the naps, I could never figure out how to do them once after I weaned her until recently. I'm staying home since the baby has been born and I've asked her to have quiet time in her room for 1/2 hour every day. Occasionallly she just puts herself down for a nap. Of course, if I asked her to nap, there would be no chance

[karika]

she probably just doesn't want to be alone also the children resent being moved in the night probably. Waking up alone in a separate room could even be considered terrifying to a small human. I would not try to get her to sleep alone at such a young age. Did you cosleep with her as a baby? I find my children only go to bed to stay in bed when Mommy does. So, if I don't want to be holding a sleepy baby (16 mo) as I type at the desk (which I usually do ), I go to bed with her. I watch tv or do crosswords... I do not keep any sort of schedule, we just sleep when we are tired. I just have my wind down time while lying beside the baby... My 6 yo is starting to ask to sleep in her bed now, which she has done before for a few nights, but I really think this time she was ready for the transition. If not, she can come to my bed (I had asked her to stay out because baby was too small but dd2 is bigger now) or her dad's bed (we cohabitate as friends, with separate rooms, we are divorced) or the couch... Maybe you can lie down with her, then slip out for a few minutes then slip back in with her if you need to be completely alone. Or have dp lie there instead...

[claddaghmom]

My DD has the same bedtime but I cultivate that b/c it matches DH's work schedule.

But if it is too late for you, then you need to start waking her up earlier. Especially if she is cutting out naps.

[hakeber]

I'm not sure why this is in discipline...Did you mean to put this in the family bed and nighttime parenting forum?

Originally Posted by limette

Have you tried putting her to bed earlier?

Both mine (2 and 4) we staying up later than I preferred (9 and 11pm), never appearing tired until really late. Of course when we tried putting them to bed they would stay up even longer, fidgeting around and doing whatever they could to avoid sleep.

We pulled their bedtimes back to 7pm and 8:30pm and now they fall asleep after 5-10 minutes of laying in bed with them. I was shocked the first time I tried it.

It seems like the later they were staying up the more wired they became and the harder it was to get them to stay still long enough to pass out.

The youngest occasionally has a big fit when I get her ready for bed, crying and such but I just snuggle with her like usual and she passes out straight away.

My ds is still nightmare to get to bed unless he goes down at 7pm. And I made the switch in one night, not weaning down. Just one night, and WHAM he was out like a light, and that was his new bedtime. Now if we miss the bedtime for some reason, it takes ages, three stories, two songs, fifteen hugs, and sometimes I have to lay on the spare bed until he drifts off. But it's not such a big deal really.

The bed time ritual that really got ds at that age was the long pictureless story. I got Sinbad the Sailor. He loved the story but it was so long and serious...he'd usually fall asleep in a few pages.

My parents used to do this. My dad started the Narnia books for us when I was around that age and the sultry smoothe sound of his voice lulled me to sleep everytime. I still get sleepy when I hear him read.

ETA: What is Super Nanny's method?

[Aliyahsmommy]

Originally Posted by karika

she probably just doesn't want to be alone also the children resent being moved in the night probably. Waking up alone in a separate room could even be considered terrifying to a small human. I would not try to get her to sleep alone at such a young age. Did you cosleep with her as a baby? I find my children only go to bed to stay in bed when Mommy does. So, if I don't want to be holding a sleepy baby (16 mo) as I type at the desk (which I usually do ), I go to bed with her. I watch tv or do crosswords... I do not keep any sort of schedule, we just sleep when we are tired. I just have my wind down time while lying beside the baby... My 6 yo is starting to ask to sleep in her bed now, which she has done before for a few nights, but I really think this time she was ready for the transition. If not, she can come to my bed (I had asked her to stay out because baby was too small but dd2 is bigger now) or her dad's bed (we cohabitate as friends, with separate rooms, we are divorced) or the couch... Maybe you can lie down with her, then slip out for a few minutes then slip back in with her if you need to be completely alone. Or have dp lie there instead...

I think you are right that she does not like to fall asleep alone. Though moving her does not seem to be an issue as she does not seem upset when she wakes and if it is still night she will come back to our bed to sleep. I only co-slept with her until she was 3 months old as she just slept better by herself. All of our movements seemed to bother her. I would say now she is happier sleeping with us, but when she does her quality of sleep is not as good. Not to mention that she kicks, rolls, and invades our space horribly and we do not get any sleep She slept in her own room from 3mths-2 years old and then all of the sudden fought bedtime horribly and co-slept again. The last two nights I have laid with her in my bed and she fell asleep around 8:30pm after about 10 minutes. She doesn't want to cuddle in her bed at all, not sure why.

[Aliyahsmommy]

Originally Posted by hakeber

I'm not sure why this is in discipline...Did you mean to put this in the family bed and nighttime parenting forum?




My ds is still nightmare to get to bed unless he goes down at 7pm. And I made the switch in one night, not weaning down. Just one night, and WHAM he was out like a light, and that was his new bedtime. Now if we miss the bedtime for some reason, it takes ages, three stories, two songs, fifteen hugs, and sometimes I have to lay on the spare bed until he drifts off. But it's not such a big deal really.

The bed time ritual that really got ds at that age was the long pictureless story. I got Sinbad the Sailor. He loved the story but it was so long and serious...he'd usually fall asleep in a few pages.

My parents used to do this. My dad started the Narnia books for us when I was around that age and the sultry smoothe sound of his voice lulled me to sleep everytime. I still get sleepy when I hear him read.

ETA: What is Super Nanny's method?

I suppose I put it here because she tantrums at bedtime?...I don't know maybe it is in the wrong spot
Putting her down much earlier seems to do the trick and laying with her in the bedroom with no TV, lights, or distractions. I have been getting her down in a relatively short time period and able to have a few hours to myself. It has been great the last two nights! I think the issue was that she was too wound up by staying up too late and she didn't have a good bedtime routine, and there were too many distractions. Overall although I prefer her to sleep in her own bed from the beginning, I feel satisfied with her falling asleep in my bed quickly and then being moved
Supernanny recommends placing the child in their bed and then leaving the room. When the child comes out do not speak and put the child back in their bed. Do this as many times as needed till child stays. For a younger child you do the same thing, but sit on the floor of their bedroom. Only problem I had was that I tried it for 10 minutes or so and felt bad that my daughter was crying so and I couldn't imagine letting that go on for an extended period of time.

[hakeber]

Ahhh...your kid gets out if bed after putting her down, eh?

I am not proud of this, but my child never does this and I have a sneaking suspicion that it is because around the age of 20 months a friend of mine came over very late (a break up sympathy drink was in order) and she brought her medium sized but sometimes feisty dog with her. Ds heard us talking and for the first time ever got out of bed and came to see what was going on and the dog got spooked and barked LOUDLY and DS burst into terrorized tears. It took me an hour to calm to him down and get him back to sleep, poor thing.

On the upside he never left his bed again calling out to me first and getting the "all clear"

At almost five he is still somewhat dubious of such wild claims his father and I make like "you can come into our bed if you get scared anytime, you really don't have to check first, I promise!" or "help yourself to water and potty breaks in the night, pal."

I do NOT recommend terrorizing your child, by the way. Just sharing a story.

I can't speak for my kid as a result of the incident of the dog in the nighttime, but I used to be a nanny, and I never did that to kids to get them to stay in their rooms. I just sat with them and sang or read them to sleep...but then I was getting paid 15 dollars an hour to entertain the children and make the experience of mommy and daddy going out super fun and stress free for the kids.

I think Super Nanny is sort of fun to watch, but her one size fits all method of discipline doesn't sit well with me.

ETA: awesome job on the progress BTW. It's so nice to hear her body clock is being respected and you're managing to find time for yourself too! That's pretty super if you ask me.