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early onset BPD and hypersexuality - Page 2

post #21 of 33
Thread Starter 
Thank you Talula Fairie-

I suppose that if I only saw my dd in a formal setting for an hour I wouldn't think she needed meds either. Home is where the hell is *sigh*. I am going to take her to a psychiatrist too, medicaid makes it all such a long trial. She spends most of her time (imo) in mixed states so it's hard to figure out what is going on. Do you mind if I ask how you changed as you grew older and if you were voraciously hungry during manic/mixed states.
post #22 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyMama View Post
Thank you Talula Fairie-

I suppose that if I only saw my dd in a formal setting for an hour I wouldn't think she needed meds either. Home is where the hell is *sigh*. I am going to take her to a psychiatrist too, medicaid makes it all such a long trial. She spends most of her time (imo) in mixed states so it's hard to figure out what is going on. Do you mind if I ask how you changed as you grew older and if you were voraciously hungry during manic/mixed states.

A good psychiatrist will still be able to asses your child based on your reports and evaluating her, even if she's in a "good" period. If she's truly manic or depressed, it's unlikely that would get by the p-doc, though possible. They have ways of evaluating beyond surface behavior.

I have zero appetite when I am in a manic or mixed state. The only time my appetite was voracious was after being put on certain psych meds (zyprexa and respirdol being the worst offenders). But, everyone is different I suppose and a stark change in eating habits does suggest something is up.

What makes you think she is in a mixed state specifically? Have you checked out the DSM for bipolar and for bipolar episodes?

I'm not sure what you mean in terms of "how I changed." Um. I am Bipolar I as I said, and in those years (probably due to the abuse I was experiencing) I spent most of my time depressed. But I would have these periods of mania, sometimes hypomania, sometimes full blown mania, where I'd have energy, grandiose mood, even delusions and hallucinations. I remember this happening probably 2 or 3 times.

I think the mixed episodes started around age 13 or so (guessing) and they full blown manias started at 12 though I didn't have another until 14 (had 2 that year) and then I had another at 15 when I was finally diagnosed. That was to date one of the most severe manias I've ever had. The last full blown mania with dellusions was at 17, which I think was a rebound mania due to my dad and step mom encouraging me to go off medication after I moved in with them.


Most of my memories of those years, actually I'd say like my entire childhood but especially 12-18 or so, are of deep, dark, bone crushing depression. I was sad all the time. Even when I was manic there was still an edge of sadness to it. I think that's why in my adult life I am always so med complaint, I hate being manic....I don't get "happy manias" for the most part.

I'm not sure I'd be a good example to you becuase like I said, I was in an incredibly abusive situation. I think really, my bipolar got more and more severe until about age 14 or so when it leveled off. It has been less severe since moving out of my mom's and then my dad and step mom's house, for several reasons. Firstly, I don't let it get that bad. I have taken myself to the ER more than once when I had to. Secondly, I went to therapy and stayed on meds save for the time period when I was having children/nursing. Thirdly, I have a stable home life. Given all those conditions my condition is usually -not ALWAYS, but usually- manageable.
post #23 of 33
Thread Starter 
Sorry Talula, I missed your post. I think she's in mixed states because she is completely different people different times of the day and the "personalities" don't seem to logically correlate to what's going on. She's spiteful and vicious, depressed and hates life, and then is stick, sacharin sweet. It's awful. I am at the point where I'm so angry at the hell I am going through with her and what it takes away from the other members of the family that I feel like I don't like her. When she goes into the sticky sweet phase and wants to kiss my cheek and make babyish noises my skin crawls.
post #24 of 33
That sounds like rapid cycling to me, not a mixed episode. Mixed episodes are when you feel depressed and manic simultaneously.
post #25 of 33
Thread Starter 
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post #26 of 33
Thread Starter 
ok. Thanks. Often she says she's sad and feels sick and is pacing the house but can't remember what she was planning to do the minute before. I'm trying to get her to a psychiatrist but it will be months. There are no docs seeing medicaid under 18 here.
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post #27 of 33
I hope you get it figured out :
post #28 of 33
I was and still am Bipolar. As I have grown older, it is MUCH more managable. As a teen, not so much. I think there are many factors as to why it is more managable/ less severe.
I became very educated about my illness, after I got over the whole "nothing is wrong with me" attitude. I learned how I cycled and what were possible "triggers" and warning signs of both my depression and mania. I would have long cycles, lasting weeks, maybie months at a time. After i learned to pick up on these signs, I found tools that worked for me to lessen the effects of the depression or mania, sometimes this ment upping my meds, other times it ment extra counciling or extra activity to keep my mind in check. I agree with the pp who suggested intense physical activity. I became almost obsessive at times when it came to my activitys, but it was a healthy obbsesion.
Another factor is the hormonal one. As i have grown, my hormones have leveled out some. Something that helped me as a teen was birth control. Might want to speak to her Dr about that. I think these days they have BC that helps level out all the hormones more so then BC from when i was a teen.
I was hypersexual as a teen, starting from a young age. I hid it well from my family and friends. I had similar behavior to your daughter, though we didnt have texting, but internet chat rooms. You are more than welcome to PM me for more on that particular subject, although I dont have tons of advice per say, just know the behavior and what triggered it for me.
I also got into drugs a bit. Not wanting to scare you, just speaking from experience. It was my way of self medicating, and i didnt do it for plesure per say. Now that I know my problem, I look back to the worst times I had, and I am able to say, hey now I know why i did this or that. I used to be shameful of things i did, but now I know that i was trying to cope with life the way i knew how. I think that is the key. Finding alternate, non self destructive ways to cope. I think the teen years are the worst when it comes to this ilness, but can also be the time to really learn to deal with it. Like i said, you are more than welcome to PM me for any reason, I might not have the perfect solution, but i might be able to offer more insight as to what/ why she might be doing. Also if she ever need someone to talk to I would be more than willing to listen. Sometimes its nice to have someone thats been there, done that and knows what it feels like, that isnt going to judge you. Hope I have been helpfull and best of luck.
Also just wanted to say, , It takes a special parent to deal with someone with these issues. There will be very tough days, but as you learn, things get better, and the good days start to take over again.
post #29 of 33
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much!
post #30 of 33
I don't think that an obsession with physical activity is always healthy. It certainly wasn't for me and I'm still paying the physical price from the years of abuse to my body.
post #31 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talula Fairie View Post
I don't think that an obsession with physical activity is always healthy. It certainly wasn't for me and I'm still paying the physical price from the years of abuse to my body.
Maybe I could have worded it a bit differently. No, it isnt healthy per say, but compared to the alternative, it is the lesser of two evils. I too am paying for it physically and I am only 25. Also when I had injury's due to over exertion, or playing too rough, I was devastated that I could not participate. Like I said, compared to the current behavior, especially if she gets to the point to were she IS getting sexually active, it is alot healthier option. The long lasting affects from hyper sexuality, IMO are or have the potential to be, far worse, both physically and mentally.
post #32 of 33
I've suffered just as much pain from my overexercising and disordered body image as I have from being promiscuous. They are equally bad. JMO.

This is not to say physical activity is bad. But obsessive physical activity does have harmful effects, in fact it's often a symptom of an eating disorder or body dysmorphic disorder.
post #33 of 33
Hey there.

I, too, am bipolar. I have been since I was 12ish but mom and dad just thought I went between being 'passionate' and 'moody'. They didn't know or understand the hell I was going through.

I was also hypersexual. We've always had a computer and my parents aren't computer literate so I was able to hide all my explicit chats with dozens of men over the years. I'd cultivate 'relationships' with them, all the while they knew I wasn't even 15. Looking back, I can see how sick it really was. I'm really glad you're technologically inclined and can lock and unlock the text feature on your daughter's cell. That's really great. I often wished that my parents would discover my explicit chats so that I could get help as I didn't understand why I was so drawn to act out this way (or cut myself or bash my head against hard solid things til I bruised or any of my other self-destructive habits). Our family is conservative so I don't think that something of this nature (hypersexuality) would have even been on their radar. They still don't know about any of it to this day. I was also abused sexually and I don't know if that led me to be hypersexual but it certainly didn't help matters.

I lead the double life of up-standing Christian girl and my self-destructive behaviours online until I was finally medicated when I turned 20 after an uber manic episode that finally caught my parent's attention... I was delusional, grandiose ideas, hallucinations, etc etc. I continued a few of these 'relationships' I had started with men over the years until I was finally medicated for depression when I was 23, three years ago.

Medication isn't a walk in the park and I've managed to gain 80 pounds in the process but I'd rather be sane and overweight then thin and unstable. I hope you and your daughter can see a child psychiatrist soon as it would be beneficial to her to be properly diagnosed and find a suitable treatment plan that you can all live with. (Intense physical activity only made me more manic.)

I guess all I can tell you is that I'm glad you're aware of your daughter's activities, I certainly wish my parents had been. Please know that I'm thinking of you. And please don't neglect your own mental health in the process of taking care of your daughter's. I can't blame you for being fed up with the hell you're walking through... one thought that got me through my journey was "I'm one day closer to being better". I didn't know when I would "be better" but I knew that with each passing day I was getting closer to that goal. There is a light at the end of this tunnel.

-Dee
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