Anyone else? When "just one more" turned into # three and four? My twins are now 7 weeks old, so I am in the midst of all the newborn twinsanity. How do you find time for your other 2 (or more) children? My 5 year-old ds is in school during the day (though summer break is quickly approaching!), but I feel sorry for my 2 year-old some days and feel like he can't possibly get the attention that he needs. When DH is home on the weekends, he does a good job of entertaining the older two, but I find myself feeling cheated out of spending the quality time that I need to spend with them -- I feel like I'm always sitting here nursing, dealing with the twins, etc.
Honestly, I struggled with this twin pregnancy from the get-go. I thought it would have gotten better once they arrived on the scene, but I still don't think I've fully accepted it. "Maybe just one more" baby turned out to be twins, much to my complete and utter shock. Right after I found out that I was pg with a 3rd, even before I knew it was twins, I started wondering if we really should have gone down that path -- when I found out it was twins, I KNEW we should not have gone down that path... I WOH part-time and do not want to give that up; ds1 goes to a private school b/c we don't think much of the public schools in the area, and now we are dealing with the cost of child care for 4 (making it seem almost financially foolish to work part-time), the eventual cost of private school for 4, etc. Not to mention that the world just doesn't seem to be designed for people with 4 or more children -- restaurants, hotel rooms, vehicles (okay, besides the mini-van), etc.
What it boils down to is -- I never in a million years would have thought that I would have had 4 children. I never in a million years would have TRIED to have 4 children. Whenever I heard of acquaintances having 4, I wonder how/why they chose to have 4, thinking they must just be totally different people than I. I feel I am just not equipped to deal with 4, and yet here I am with 4. I feel trapped, tied down, and a little imprisoned. There, I've said it! Does that make me sound like a horribly selfish person? I just keep thinking of all the travel plans that will never materialize, of all the $$ we will have to earn to keep them in good schools, the cost of college tuition x 4, etc.
Have any of you had the same thoughts? How have you come to terms with having more kids than you ever would have wanted or bargained for? I know that attitude is a huge part of it and that somehow I just need to wrap my brain around the idea that someday this will seem like a blessing, or that this was meant to happen, etc. But I'm just not there yet. Honestly, I feel like this almost happened as a cosmic/karmic joke b/c I didn't listen to my inner feelings that I should have stopped at 2 - that 2 was what I could really handle. I can appreciate the biological anomaly that twins are, and I know I am really lucky to have carried them to good birth weights. They were born healthy, thank goodness. They are nursing well; they do sleep (well, some!). Yes, newborn twins are a challenge, but mostly it's the rest of my life managing 4 children that I am worried about....Any tips/advice?? How have 4 (or more) children turned out to be a good thing? DH, god love him, is being a total Polyanna about this, but doesn't focus on practicalities or details and is leaving me to do the child care search, etc.
FINALLY, DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THE TWIN PARENTING BOOKS ONLY CONTEMPLATE TWINS AS YOUR ONLY CHILDREN, OR TWINS AND ONE OLDER SIBLING??? That's annoying. Well, this turned into quite a rant. If you've read this far, thank you, thank you!
Honestly, I struggled with this twin pregnancy from the get-go. I thought it would have gotten better once they arrived on the scene, but I still don't think I've fully accepted it. "Maybe just one more" baby turned out to be twins, much to my complete and utter shock. Right after I found out that I was pg with a 3rd, even before I knew it was twins, I started wondering if we really should have gone down that path -- when I found out it was twins, I KNEW we should not have gone down that path... I WOH part-time and do not want to give that up; ds1 goes to a private school b/c we don't think much of the public schools in the area, and now we are dealing with the cost of child care for 4 (making it seem almost financially foolish to work part-time), the eventual cost of private school for 4, etc. Not to mention that the world just doesn't seem to be designed for people with 4 or more children -- restaurants, hotel rooms, vehicles (okay, besides the mini-van), etc.
What it boils down to is -- I never in a million years would have thought that I would have had 4 children. I never in a million years would have TRIED to have 4 children. Whenever I heard of acquaintances having 4, I wonder how/why they chose to have 4, thinking they must just be totally different people than I. I feel I am just not equipped to deal with 4, and yet here I am with 4. I feel trapped, tied down, and a little imprisoned. There, I've said it! Does that make me sound like a horribly selfish person? I just keep thinking of all the travel plans that will never materialize, of all the $$ we will have to earn to keep them in good schools, the cost of college tuition x 4, etc.
Have any of you had the same thoughts? How have you come to terms with having more kids than you ever would have wanted or bargained for? I know that attitude is a huge part of it and that somehow I just need to wrap my brain around the idea that someday this will seem like a blessing, or that this was meant to happen, etc. But I'm just not there yet. Honestly, I feel like this almost happened as a cosmic/karmic joke b/c I didn't listen to my inner feelings that I should have stopped at 2 - that 2 was what I could really handle. I can appreciate the biological anomaly that twins are, and I know I am really lucky to have carried them to good birth weights. They were born healthy, thank goodness. They are nursing well; they do sleep (well, some!). Yes, newborn twins are a challenge, but mostly it's the rest of my life managing 4 children that I am worried about....Any tips/advice?? How have 4 (or more) children turned out to be a good thing? DH, god love him, is being a total Polyanna about this, but doesn't focus on practicalities or details and is leaving me to do the child care search, etc.
FINALLY, DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THE TWIN PARENTING BOOKS ONLY CONTEMPLATE TWINS AS YOUR ONLY CHILDREN, OR TWINS AND ONE OLDER SIBLING??? That's annoying. Well, this turned into quite a rant. If you've read this far, thank you, thank you!
this thread 
Don't feel bad about your feelings; I think they are pretty normal!
Now I can mostly laugh about it.
and to not have to look at the state your house is in.
I don't even want to know what the cost for that is! I hope they do get a multiples discount! They sound like a delightful bunch, don't they?
