I haven't posted on MDC for a while 'cause everything I used to talk about on here seems so... stupid and mundane. I only wish I had those problems now.
My Husband left me. I moved out with my son after Christmas. He took my stepdaughter. He promised I could still be in her life, I'd still be a parent to her, part of her family. He told me he understood how close we were to eachother, how much we love eachother. I was her primary caregiver when she was at our house from right before she turned 3 until she was 9 1/4. I loved her and treated her as my own. Still do. She was the daughter I never had. the two children were raised as siblings for 6 years. My Husband has hardly let me have any contact with my stepdaughter the last three months. He insists, "She's fine, she's fine." Supposedly, my Husband and I are on friendly terms, he's divorcine me because "he doesn't love me anymore" and We had a talk the other night- during that talk, he basically told me that 1. He does not consider me any kind of parent to my stepdaughter, any kind of family to my stepdaughter. and 2. because I'm no longer her family, he really doesn't see any reason why I should see her on weekends he has her (every other weekend) and even once a month "is a bit much" and 3. he doesn't invite my son over when she's there very often because, "they shouldn't be encouraged to be sister and brother, since they're not, anymore". Now, it's killing me to lose my Husband, my best friend for 9 years, it kills me to see this complete personality change in him, that nobody, NOBODY, even his family has ever seen, and it kills me to see what my son's going through, losing the only Dad he's ever known, and the sister he grew up with, but the complete loss of my stepdaughter, I can't get through. It's not the usual "loss of a child" (thank God!), but she's lost from me, she's been taken from me. I love her more than life itself, and he took her from me. She's only 9, she will eventually forget how close we were. She may already be wondering why "I won't come see her anymore". I just want my "daughter" (the daughter of my heart) back. How can someone intentionally break a bond like that, take a child from a parent? Even as he was leaving, he kept maintaining how I've been "the best parent he could have imagined" to his daughter. Maybe we weren't "real" child and "real" parent, but it was real enough for me and my stepdaughter- she was the daughter I had always wanted. I know I still have my son- I'm trying to concentrate on him now- but I still feel like I've lost everything- I lost my little girl. Nothing will ever replace her- she's gone.
My Husband left me. I moved out with my son after Christmas. He took my stepdaughter. He promised I could still be in her life, I'd still be a parent to her, part of her family. He told me he understood how close we were to eachother, how much we love eachother. I was her primary caregiver when she was at our house from right before she turned 3 until she was 9 1/4. I loved her and treated her as my own. Still do. She was the daughter I never had. the two children were raised as siblings for 6 years. My Husband has hardly let me have any contact with my stepdaughter the last three months. He insists, "She's fine, she's fine." Supposedly, my Husband and I are on friendly terms, he's divorcine me because "he doesn't love me anymore" and We had a talk the other night- during that talk, he basically told me that 1. He does not consider me any kind of parent to my stepdaughter, any kind of family to my stepdaughter. and 2. because I'm no longer her family, he really doesn't see any reason why I should see her on weekends he has her (every other weekend) and even once a month "is a bit much" and 3. he doesn't invite my son over when she's there very often because, "they shouldn't be encouraged to be sister and brother, since they're not, anymore". Now, it's killing me to lose my Husband, my best friend for 9 years, it kills me to see this complete personality change in him, that nobody, NOBODY, even his family has ever seen, and it kills me to see what my son's going through, losing the only Dad he's ever known, and the sister he grew up with, but the complete loss of my stepdaughter, I can't get through. It's not the usual "loss of a child" (thank God!), but she's lost from me, she's been taken from me. I love her more than life itself, and he took her from me. She's only 9, she will eventually forget how close we were. She may already be wondering why "I won't come see her anymore". I just want my "daughter" (the daughter of my heart) back. How can someone intentionally break a bond like that, take a child from a parent? Even as he was leaving, he kept maintaining how I've been "the best parent he could have imagined" to his daughter. Maybe we weren't "real" child and "real" parent, but it was real enough for me and my stepdaughter- she was the daughter I had always wanted. I know I still have my son- I'm trying to concentrate on him now- but I still feel like I've lost everything- I lost my little girl. Nothing will ever replace her- she's gone.
I am so very sorry. Can you write to her to let her know you still love her? I wouldn't mention in my letters about her dad not letting you see each other, but just say that you love and miss her. 
