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He took her from me. He promised he wouldn't but he did. - Page 2

post #21 of 43
for you
for your son
for your daughter

I can't imagine why anybody would want to do that to a child. No matter what happens between the adults, the children should continue to feel the love and protection they expect and deserve.

post #22 of 43
How horrible!!!
post #23 of 43
So so sorry, mama. That sounds just awful.
post #24 of 43
I'm so sorry mama
post #25 of 43
That is horrible. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

I do not think your DSD will forget you, or how much you love her. I remember an awful lot from when I was 9. In the end, this is all just going to turn around against her father. You should take every opportunity to see DSD that you can and to let her know that you love her and will always be there for her. As she gets into her teen years pretty soon, she'll find ways to contact you. She's not gone from you forever, just for a while. She'll come back.
post #26 of 43
It sounds like all you can do is make sure she knows (every time you do get to see her) that you are there for her, that this isn't how you wanted it to be, and that you love her like crazy.

Does she have her own cell phone and/or email address? (I know she's only 9, but it seems like lots of kids these days have better technology than I do!) If so, stay in touch with her that way. Even if you can't see her, you can "talk" to her and let her know you're there if she needs you.
post #27 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by mazajo View Post
That is horrible. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

I do not think your DSD will forget you, or how much you love her. I remember an awful lot from when I was 9. In the end, this is all just going to turn around against her father. You should take every opportunity to see DSD that you can and to let her know that you love her and will always be there for her. As she gets into her teen years pretty soon, she'll find ways to contact you. She's not gone from you forever, just for a while. She'll come back.
I agree. Many hugs, mama.
post #28 of 43
Sometimes there are legal provisions for this type of thing. I would contact a lawyer. At least you'll know you've tried everything you can to be in her life.
post #29 of 43
The siblings have the right to a relationship. Contact an attorney or legal aid.
post #30 of 43
That's just evil. I'm so sorry, what a terrible thing to do to children
post #31 of 43
It never hurts to talk to a lawyer and see if theres any legal precedent for allowing/requiring continued contact. Or even just try google... never hurts to look.

And, if theres no way for you to see her, I would definetly write her a nice long letter send it via snail mail, explaining how this seperation was not of your choosing, and that if she ever needs someone to talk to you'll be there for her. Then, give her your parents' phone number/address, or someone else who will *always* be able to get a hold of you, so that no matter what happens to her, or you in the coming years, she'll know how to get ahold of you. Good luck!!
post #32 of 43
Thread Starter 
I talked to a lawyer- there's nothing I can do. My son and I are legal strangers to my stepdaughter. My soon-to-be exhusband is getting harder and harder to get ahold of, and I have not seen my stepdaughter in 21 days, talked to her once, on the phone, since then.
post #33 of 43
Im so sorry. this sounds just awful.
post #34 of 43
I remember your posts about her....so very sorry. I hope you get to see her soon. Where ever she is, she loves and misses you too.
post #35 of 43
post #36 of 43
I can't even imagine being in your shoes, and I know something about loving a child that's not biologically your own.

I know that 9 is young, but is she connected to email? If you have their address, send her letters, cards, pictures. I'm very sorry you are going through this.
post #37 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post

My son and I are "legal strangers" to her. There's nothing the courts can do.
I'm so sorry

I don't know about NY, but in my county, 1/2 siblings have the right to see each other. Are you sure that your son is a legal stranger to her.
post #38 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toolip View Post
I'm so sorry

I don't know about NY, but in my county, 1/2 siblings have the right to see each other. Are you sure that your son is a legal stranger to her.
The children aren't half-siblings. Her son is hers, and was her ex's stepson.

OP: I've been reading your posts here for a long time, but I don't think I've ever commented. I'm so, so, so sorry. It's just beyond my understanding that anyone could do this. Family doesn't just disappear because of paperwork. I feel for you and your dsd.

post #39 of 43
Wow, he sounds like a real piece of work. He is hurting his own daughter as well as you and his step son. Basically everyone but himself and his ex. I'm so sorry you are going through this loss.
post #40 of 43
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
It's just beyond my understanding that anyone could do this. Family doesn't just disappear because of paperwork.
Yeah, I struggle with this every day- how can I NOT be family now?

Little update- We see my stepdaughter about once a month now. My son sees my Ex maybe twice a month. My son's birthday is a week and a half away. My Ex is coming and bringing my stepdaughter. And his new girlfriend. Apparently, my replacement. Apparently because I've got a guy friend now. (Not boyfriend, but really good friend who wants to be my boyfriend.) We will see how this turns out. Please keep me in your thoughts on June 5th- I will need the support- I'm not sure how well I can fake not being bothered when I get to see the replacement parent "my" daughter. :-(
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