help me sort this out!

[MadiMamacita]

I know next to nothing about this whole process. My friend is in a sticky situation and I remembered seeing this forum, so I hope it is appropriate to post here. I don't know who else to ask!

I will lay out the situation as briefly as I can.


My friend, B, is 26. she has no kids of her own, no husband, no house (she rents) and is about to switch from a not great paying job (10/hr) to an OK paying job (15/hr) . she lives in North Carolina.

Her cousin, N, is addicted to Heroin. She is 25 and lives in NYC. She had a baby 7 months ago and the baby is now in the hospital after N gave the baby drugs (!) because she couldn't sleep. They don't know what she gave the baby or how much because she keeps changing her answer. They think Methadone and Klonapin.

N's boyfriend R is listed on the birth certificate but N has said that he is not really the father. R is insisting that the baby be put in foster care instead of being placed with someone from N's family.

CPS is not releasing the baby to N (obviously). B wants the baby. B has a spotless record and is great with kids.

Is it even possible for CPS to place the baby in a different state?
What is B's best course of action? Should she file for guardianship? Should she fly up to NYC and meet with the case worker? What's the next step?

Thanks so much for your responses in advance- B wants to help this baby but she's scared they won't let her!

ETA: i'm relaying all your responses to B and she's grateful for the help.

I have another question. Is it possible for the social worker to request a paternity test?

it seems that N is willing to put the baby under B's guardianship, but R thinks the baby should go into foster care. he thinks they will have an easier time getting the baby back if she is placed in foster care than with a family member. If it is proven that he's not even the father, then wouldnt this be easier?

[kgreenemama]

I am sorry that I have no clue about these logistics, but I commend you for doing everything you are to help out. My best wishes to everyone involved, especially that baby. Oh, does it make my heart ache for her.

[lauren]

One step would be to get in touch with the social worker and at least make him/her aware that she exists. Others will step in here and give you more detailed advice I am sure.

[krisnic]

Yes, she absolutely could contact the social worker and let it be known that she would like to take in the child. They can do it over state lines, but it would also depend on what they do with the case. If the goal is reunification, then there would still be visits with the mother, and that wouldn't be able to happen with the baby in NC. Guardianship would work if the mother/father agree to it, but it wouldn't be a permanent thing. I would have your friend contact the worker in NYC and go from there. They may be looking for immediate termination with the circumstances.

[queenjane]

IME they will do a paternity test...with my fs, one was done even though no one was contesting paternity. They want to make sure they have the "right" father.

If i were your friend, i would at least send a letter, email or phone call to the worker to let her know she is there, available, and wants the baby if that is an option. (her income sounds fine, renting isnt an issue, and neither is not having a husband, btw)...she might consider getting a foster license just in case...they may not even be seeking reunification with the mother, giving drugs to a baby is very serious and i think here that might be grounds for going straight to TPR. If the father wasnt involved in that, he may have a better chance.

I dont know why the father would think they would have a better chance at getting the baby back if baby was in FC than w/ relatives...from what i've seen the court makes a determination to terminate or not on the case facts itself not on where the child is placed. (meaning, the judge doesnt look at which home is better for the child, the judge looks at whether the bio parents meet minimal safe standards to raise a child)...

I think there is a thread around here somewhere where a poster was a relative trying to get her niece out of FC, and there was lots of good info in that thread.

[wemoon]

As a previous poster said, the goal is reunification of the family after mom has dealt with her issues. That being said, if she is addicted to heroin, that may be a long process. CPS would prefer to place children with families first rather than foster care, so I would make sure that B makes herself known to the social worker. I doubt she will be able to keep the child forever, but it also depends on how willing the mom is to get the help she needs for reunification.

[pixiekisses]

Originally Posted by queenjane

I think there is a thread around here somewhere where a poster was a relative trying to get her niece out of FC, and there was lots of good info in that thread.

Yeah, this thread here.

There's an adoptive and foster parenting forum here, I'd x post there.

I'm not in the US, so don't take my statement as 100% certain, but I think your friend should put in a call with the case worker right away, make herself known and ask the CW what she has to do and if she has a chance of getting the baby as a fosterling.

[MommyKelly]

I am raising 2 of my cousins children. Our now 5 yo dd came to us through the foster care system from another state. We contacted the SW and made ourselves known. It took about 7 months to finally get her here though, and we have since adopted her.

My 7 and 3 yo olds came to us from another state also, but the SW let Bio mom sign over custody to us before they put them in the system. This was done fast! I talked to the SW, flew to home state, went to court and was back here within 72 hours.

We asked for a paternity test on 5 yo dd, but the state told us no, as long as someone signed that paternity paper and accepted that child they wont do it. But I dont know if the father listed asks for one if they will do it.

[MadiMamacita]

thank you guys for your ideas.
She is persuing guardianship, but fears her cousin has relapsed. no one can get ahold of her and they don't know where she is
Is it possible for the social worker to request a paternity test? or is that something that only the mom can request?

[Polliwog]

Social services usually has the father take a paternity test so that they can make him pay child support for the child in care. I'm not sure how often that actually done, though.

[mamaflutter]

Hi I'm not sure of the laws in nyc so I don't know if I can be much help. Is it possible for ns mom to gain power of attny or possibly B? If someone could I would think they could request a dna test if she was deemed incapeable to make her own legal desisons. I would also call the case worker and a lawyer in nyc. It dose have to be a lawyer that is licensed in the state in which the child resides and where any motions would be heard. An experianced lawyer is probably be the best option to guide her in the diretion she needs to go. I hope it all works out for B and the baby it sounds like she will have a great place to call home.

[MadiMamacita]

Thanks mamaflutter- they are in touch with a family law org in the bronx that specializes in keeping babies with a family member. I think its some sort of LegalAid place. I hope they will help!
I don't think anyone is able to get ahold of the mom, which makes them all very worried (when you can't locate someone who has a history with heroin.. scary) but the power of attorney is a good idea.