Help!

[njkarin]

My son is 20 months old and going through a VERY frustrating phase right now. I know children his age don't fully understand how to share. I have a master's degree in child development, but what he's doing confounds me. Whenever we go to a playground, he gets very whiny when other kids come even within a few feet of him. If they don't move, he just starts screaming. Also, we watch a friend's 3 year old son once a week. When the boy comes over to play my son freaks out when his friend is playing with one of his toys. My son throws such a fit that it is so hard for him to calm down. I try to model how to play with the same toy at the same time but he won't come near. Sometimes he will be okay if I offer another toy but even with that toy, his frustration level just goes through the roof.

I like to think of myself as very calm in how I approach these situations. I am even teaching my son how to take deep breaths to help him calm down but I don't know what more to do. He has always been such an intense child (both in his utter joy for life and his utter frustration with his toys at times). The toys we have are age appropriate BTW. We also spend lots of time with other children so it's not like he's not socialized. I'm just getting so frustrated myself in dealing with this and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions, please???

[sosurreal09]

i think its just his temperment hun! he seems like a very spirited child (like my daughter) and it can be hard for them to handle other children sometimes. hes obvs. very expressive and you shouldnt discourage his expression even if its anger or frustration. i suggest with a child like that you difuse the situation. try and do it BEFORE he blows up. when you see he may be getting a little aggitated why not take him in the other room and do a quiet activity or some one on one time with him...aybe take a break and read a book. you need to control the situation with spirited LO's these are the babies that get "diagnosed" with adhd or behavioral problems or even autism when most of the time its just their temperment. once you notice hes frustrated just take him aside and change his focus that will make hi feel less overwhelmed and he wont have a fit. good luck and be patient...spirited babies can be a handful but they are also little explorers and balls of energy and fun!