Which age for which chores

[Grace and Granola]

I would like to try to get my boys more actively involved in the household chores. Right now, cleaning and doing housework is still sort of a fun thing to do at ages 3 and 4. They don't always like to pick up their toys, but they do like having more grown-up responsibilities like feeding the dog or vacuuming. I know the novelty will wear off one day, but while life is still sweet, I need some ideas for age appropriate chores for two boys, ages 3 and 4.5.

Right now, they do not have any set chores, but the things they do are: feed the dog, let the dog out, take dishes to the sink when they're finished, pick up toys, and the 4yo occasionally uses the vacuum, but it really needs to be redone after he's finished!

So, tell me how you introduced chores to your LOs, which chores, and how to get it to be a consistent part of the routine?

[Llyra]

My kids are 3, 3, and 5 1/2. I think they do a lot more than other kids we know in real life. I don't expect them to do any of these jobs without support and reminders. I do, however, expect them to do the jobs without raising a fuss.

For us, I think it happens easily because it's just the way things always have been. I start them on putting clothes in the hamper, as soon as they can crawl and pull to stand. Then I introduce the other jobs regularly. If a child refuses to do the job, or raises a stink about having to do it, I deal with the situation on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes I let it go, if my judgment tells me that's the right thing to do. Sometimes I decide to stand my ground and insist, in which case I withhold all other non-essential activities until the job is done. (By non-essential I mean I don't withhold meals or sleep. I wouldn't do that. But I will staunchly refuse to allow any other toys to come out, the TV to be turned on, a child to go outside to play, etc. until the job is done.) For me, having them be responsible for a share of the work is important enough that I'm willing to go to bat to make it happen.)

However, lest you start to think it's a constant power struggle, let me tell you that this "go to bat" scenario has only happened three times in 5 1/2 years-- twice with DD1 when she was 3, and once with DS when he was 2 1/2. Most of the time, I just have to let them see the consequences of not doing it-- once I woke DD1 up an hour early in the morning to show her how her kitten was yowling over an empty water bowl, and often I'll just let the toys accumulate a few days until the child complains about them, then gently point out that they could be cleaned up easily.

DD1:
changes her bed when she wets it
can run the washer and dryer, and is expected to wash her own bedding with help
puts her own folded laundry away (I sort and fold)
clears her place at the table, and takes one other item to the kitchen
helps set the table on request
cleans up her own toys
keeps her own side of the bedroom clean (she shares with the twins) with reminders and help
can vacuum under her chair if she spills food
puts her own dirty clothes in the hamper, right-side out and with her socks bundled into a pair
feeds her kitten and gives her water every evening
hang up her own towel after a bath
put things like wrappers or used cups in the trash or sink, rather than leaving them wherever they fall


The twins:
clear their own place at the table and take one other item to the kitchen after a meal
help set the table
clean up their own toys, with assistance, before naptime and bedtime
help by running errands in the house-- like "please go in the basement and bring up a jar of tomatoes" kind of stuff
put their own dirty clothes in the hamper
hang up their own towels after a bath
put things in the trash, or in the sink, when they're finished with them rather than leaving them wherever they wind up

I don't offer tangible rewards for household chores. I do offer verbal validation-- "It makes me really happy to see all the toys cleaned up," or "When people help it makes my jobs so much easier." Those are nothing but the truth.

[dachshundqueen]

I have a 2.5 yo and a 4.5 yo, I also make them do yard work with me.

Watering plants, and today it was picking up all the downed branches and sticks from the winter storms.

Liz

[Joyster]

My four year old and two year old help where they can. They unload the dishwasher (my four year old can do everything, two year old gets the unbreakables) load the dishwasher, load and unload the washing machines. Help put clothes away, four year old will wash fruit and veggies, I just got him a little "child safe" knife. They do put away their toys, they'll help sweep. Yard work is insanely popular, they're just chomping at the bit this week to get out there. They have their little rakes and gloves and will help fill the feeders, dig up weeds (with direction), plant plants, pick up leaves, shovel snow. They help to bake, they helped organize our bookshelf recently, which included moving a lot of books from downstairs to upstairs. Help with the shopping. Basically anything I think they can physically handle, they are involved.

We don't have anything too regular, other than toys and picking up their rooms, but they are available as I need them.

[~Katie~]

I try to make chores routine so that they're something that just seem to have always been done. Makes for less hassle that way. DS is responsible for bringing things to the recycling bin in the garage, setting the table and clearing his dishes, putting trash in the garbage, cleaning up toys (with assistance), and loading and unloading the laundry with me. He also helps me with different errands around the house. If he wants to take something else out he has to pick up the previous toys first otherwise a huge mess ensues. He's young enough where helping around the house is a novelty so when I do chores I just include him as much as possible and teach him how things are done so that when he's old enough he'll be able to take over on his own. It's been easy enough because he shows interest in helping when he's physically able to, so that's when I start to expect him to contribute.

[kirstenb]

DS helps to put away clean laundry, brings dirty clothes to the laundry room, can clean his plate after meals, will pick up toys with help, cleans up after spills, and does a pretty good job of getting me things I ask for (clean diapers, wipes, etc). He doesn't have set chores but does a good job of doing what I ask, for the most part. Sometimes he will say no and I will let it go, depending on the situation. He also at times will take initiative and do things without me even asking, which I love.

[Areia]

My daughter is 2.5 years old. She will clear her dishes after dinner (puts them on the counter) and pick up her toys if reminded. She loves feeding the dog and especially cleaning her room. She strip the linens from her bed, swifters her room (removing 2 segments makes it the perfect size for her) and wipes down the furniture. She needs help re-making the bed and that often turns into tickle time

[sapphire_chan]

My 18 month old feeds the kitties! She's been starting to scoop the litter too (heavily supervised).

: it's so interesting what older kids can do.

[MJB]

My 7 yr. old:
-cleans his room
-makes his bed (occasionally. more often his brother does both bunks)
-puts dirty clothes in the hamper
-takes his dishes to the sink
-hangs up their towels (the little guy is too short to reach the hooks)
-cleans the litter box (was the deal when he got a cat)
-sometimes takes the trash out
-sometimes takes recycling to the curb on recycling day
-sometimes does the dishes
-sometimes cleans the toilet (with the scrubber and a Method wipe)
I'd like the "sometimes" chores to become all the time chores by fall, and he'll get an allowance then.

My 4 yr. old:
-cleans his room
-makes his bed
-puts dirty clothes in the hamper
-puts away laundry (both kids' clothes, plus kitchen/bathroom towels, napkins, washcloths)
-takes his dishes to the sink
-feeds the cats and fish
-sweeps the floor under the table after meals with a little hand broom and dustpan

[sewchris2642]

preschool ages: set table (parent puts dishes and sliverware on table); pick up toys; match and fold socks; put clean clothes away (make sure they can open their dresser drawers)

early elementary: add feed dog; help take out trash; brings in mail; clear the table; start to pick room by themselves; do homework; start fixing own breakfast (non-cooking) and lunch

late elementary: add put dirty clothes out to be washed; fold and put away own clothes; do some yardwork; help wash cars; help bring in and put away groceries; help with cooking; make bed; empty and load dishwasher; walk to school without parent;

middle school: add wash dishes; wash own clothes; do yardwork; sweep and vacuum; dust; wash windows; walk the dog (depending on dog); clean up after dog

high school: be able to be self-sufficient within the family.

[Alyantavid]

We did a sticker chart.

My almost 8 year old:
clear dinner dishes
make his bed
put away clean clothes
downstairs trashes
keep playroom clean

My 3.5 year old:
set the table
make his bed
help put away clothes
keep playroom clean

They also usually get jobs while I'm cleaning or doing laundry. Just little things to help out and they love to do it.

[meemee]

my dd LOOOOVES chores. just not her things most of the time. however if we are doing things together she loves it. like if i am cleaning up my space she will automatically do hers.

her chores were what she enjoyed doing. like at 2 she loved doing laundry. completely solo. she was sooo proud of it. she did laundry till seh was 5.

i am a single mom so she and i do most things together. today she is 7. she sweeps i mop. one thing if your 4 year old is interested in is involve him in cooking - if he so desires. i was so sad i waited till she was 6. dd has been cutting and cooking since she was 6. she is such a pro and so careful that i was sad i hadnt started her early.

there is nothing they cannot do. you just have to decide what their idea of fun is. for instance dd loooved helping me clean and so at 3 she used to clean the toilet because she enjoyed swishing the brush. of course she didnt do a v. good job but she had fun.

she herself started her chores at 1. she would crawl to the garbage and toss her diapers in there. by 18 months hse took on teh role of toilet paper checker in teh house and all hell would break lose if i changed the toilet paper.

[AllisonR]

WOW. My kids don't do tiddly-squat.

Both 3yo and 5yo put their dirty clothes in the hamper. They help clean up about once a week when I do major cleaning, if I give them very specific tasks. Like "please put all the legos away", not "help me clean". Oh, not true, sometimes my 5 yo will clean all his toys by himself and then show me. One or the other will occasionally set the table or clear it.

[WinterPearl]

My soon-to-be 3yr old loves to do whatever chore I'm doing at the time. He also cleans his room on his own and sorts his toy bins when other kids put them in the wrong ones, he's starting to put dishes in the sink on his own and almost always throws his trash away with out being told.