Burned Out

[floiejo2]

I am burned out! I feel completely bored yet overwhelmed by my life right now. I am a stay at home homeschooling mom of 2 little girls. I find myself really dreading each day lately because I just don't want to do it. I don't want to be a parent, teacher, or wife. I often find myself daydreaming what if's. What would I be doing with my life had I not gone down this path? Not that I really don't want to be a mom, I love my girls more than anything, I'm just burned out right now. I'm not sure what to do about that. Should I give up on what I believe and send the kids to school (dd2 isn't quite old enough yet) and go back to work full time? I do work a few evenings a week and have found myself actually looking forward to it lately just to get away from my normal life. I don't have to be a wife or a mom when I'm there and it's sooo nice. I have no motivation during the day, I'm soo bored by having to clean and do the household chores. I'm finding it hard to be motivated to teach my oldest lately. I love it most of the time and it all fascinates me but I don't think I can see myself homeschooling for my children's entire lives. I'm sooo completely sick of not having enough money...ever. It would be so nice to go to work and actually make as much as DH. Then I may actually be able to enjoy some of the things I really like in life. Then I wouldn't feel "trapped" anymore. Not sure we're going to work out in the long run...I just feel totally unhappy right now. Not sure why or what's changed. Just a few months ago I was begging dh to have another baby!!?? What the heck was I thinking. Now I'm thinking I am definitely done having kids because I'm overwhelmed enough already. Thanks for reading my vent on life. Anyone have any ideas or thoughts??

[madskye]

Sounds trite, but probably just one afternoon to yourself to recharge would help you feel back on track. Maybe just let your DH know that you are feeling low, and that you need to take Saturday or Sunday for yourself. And then leave the house for at least four hours and just take some time let it all go.

[newbymom05]

I had been considering h/s my two boys but recently put the 4.5 y/o in a 3 day a week part time arts preschool. I still have the toddler at home with me but Oh. My. Goodness. The freedom! I love my kids and am so happy I can be a SAHM, but meeting every social, emotional, physical and mental need 24/7 year in and year out for 16+ years maybe isn't for everyone. It isn't for me, anyway. My DS wants to go to kindy next year, and the thought of both of them in school...wow. Anyway, JME. I agree with the pp that it sounds like you need a break. Not a work break but a break break!

[mummyofan]

ABSOLUTELY you need to take a break, but I think that it's a day or a longer time, maybe a girl time sometime with friends
Homeschooling isn't for me and my DS goes to a coop pre school, so i work one am and have the other off. My DD has a Nanny whilst this happens, and I love it. It recharges me completely, I think cos it's every week, not leaving me wondering where the next break is, but scheduled, so I can really enjoy time with them, and enjoy my own.

[naismama]

Hugs to you, OP. I couldn't read and not reply. I read so much of my life in your description. Three months ago, I was positive I was going to homeschool my dd (now 4.5). Now I'm touring schools that also have a preschool nearby so I can put my 2.5yo in! I, too was wanting a third child, but I feel that I've just totally run out of steam. I'm tired of storytimes, playdates and parks. I'm tired of saying the same things over and over again (Don't walk up the slide when someone's coming down!) Tired of trying to motivate my dd to do the lessons (mostly therapy) she needs to be doing. You are so not alone!

I agree with pp that suggested you need a break to recharge. But I think specifically, it might help to do something ongoing, very personal and just about you, whether it's a class or an ongoing activity. For almost a year I've been taking a bellydancing class through the city's leisure education program. It's cheap, I get to socialize with other women --just a little bit, but it's just nice to be in the presence of the humor and energy of other women who are mothers and grandmothers and just trying to learn something new and do something fun with their bodies. It's fun to have an hour when I can be free and sexy and listen to cool music! Would some sort of exercise or dance class be a possibility for you?

[applecider]

I am absolutely there with ya. I think we need to listen to ourselves and our desires and if homeschooling isn't in the cards, then so be it! I am in the same boat as you only my son is not in kindy yet, next year, but I am not sure if I'm going to be able to pull off homeschooling. Do I want to or do I think that's just what I "should" be doing? I hate all of those "shoulds". I think we moms beat ourselves up a lot, I know I do. I definitely agree that it would be good to get out by yourself more. I know that it seems like once a week might not be enough, but maybe it could help? I really need to take my own advice Anyway, , I do understand. I hope you can find some kind of balance and happiness.

[Backwoods Mama]

Hey Mama!

I completely understand feeling overwhelmed by homeschooling! I am also homeschooling our children (ages 6, 4 and 1). I often awake feeling drained and exhausted. Some days I even debate giving up on this whole homeschooling journey. However, I do have moments of clarity. Where I realize I am doing the right thing for our little ones. (I really don't want them in the system) It seems like when I'm doubting my abilities/sanity along comes another reason to homeschool. Like my 6 year old son wanting to hold my hand in front of his hockey friends, hugging me in public, or just being a nice kid (not that publicly schooled children aren't great), we just don't get a pay check or a promotion, this is where we get our feedback . I'm sure your children are lovely people. Try and focus in on what sweet children they are; really take notice. I strongly encourage you to take some time for yourself!!!! You are trying to do it all and that's part of the problem. Something's gotta give and right now it's your sense of fulfillment. Doing things for yourself doesn't need to cost money (take a walk, take a long bath, call a friend, LAUGH). I really want to encourage you to find a homeschooling group in your area or a local lady who also homeschools, invaluable. You will find you need the bonding and the encouragement along with not feeling so alone. I recently joined a group and it has given me the courage to stay the course. I see that women have done it, not without trial, successfully. Take it easy on yourself hon, motherhood is a journey, there will be bumps but those sweet little ones are so worth it!

[floiejo2]

Thank you for all your replies! It does really help to know other momma's are feeling the same way sometimes. I'm still on the fence about homeschooling but I have to go back and remember that I said I will take it year by year or even half a yr by half a yr and reevaluate often. If things need to change, then they do and I have to be okay with that. Right now I'm still feeling like this is the best option for our family. My dd isn't even in kindy yet so there's plenty of time. There are so many reasons I want to homeschool, I just often lose sight of them in the daily grind. And I may still change my mind.

I have been taking a lot more time for myself in the past week. I started to run again and lift when time allows. I love it! Me time! I get to work out, get the stresses out, listen to non kid appropriate music(lol), and just think. I've also made it a priority to have a girls night or something similiar at least once a week. I need it to recharge. Both have helped quite a bit. I'm still feeling burned out but it's slowly getting better.

Again, thanks for your sympathies and suggestions!

[liberal_chick]

I have been feeling this way recently too. My solution (hopefully) is that I'm going on vacation. By myself! I just can't consistently get any "me" time on a regular basis, so I'm taking 4 days and going on a trip. I'm hoping I come back revived for the hectic year we have ahead.

[starlein26]

I often feel burned out after the winter...but with the weather warming up it tends to subside. I hope you feel better soon, .

[Blueone]

I don't home school yet, my son is only 8 months. But there are days I just wish I could drop him off at a daycare for a couple hours a couple times a week because I get so tired of having a baby crawl all over me, cry when I leave the room, and just be on demand 24/7.

As it is I'm already planning on telling my husband to go to church with my son and let me stay home alone just so I can recharge a bit. Days like this make me not want to home school even though it's an option I am considering.

[Just1More]

Lately I have begun enforcing some serious boundaries around here. I felt bad about it at first, but I am enjoying the blossoming of imagination my kids are developing.

For one hour in the morning, they are not to interrupt me but for an emergency. They are to play, imagine, create. I've told my older dd that that is part of her "school." And no, you can't watch me or talk to me. And I'm not coming to play or to see. I will when the hour is up, but not if I am pestered. And I'm not getting anything else out for you. You have lots, figure it out with what you have. And if it's nice, yes, you have to stay outside.

And an hour (at least) in the afternoon. I don't care if you sleep, but you must be quiet, and you must be in your room.

It isn't too much to ask, and the quiet and freedom I've gained, not to mention the opporunity to clean the house, has been wonderful.

At the end of the hour, I feel like doing something with them, and they get a happier mama than the one who never gets her own thought because someone is ALWAYS talking to me.