The dreaded 30 minute nap

[MeredithK]

I am about to lose it with the whole nap thing. I need some advice/support. DS is 5 months old. He has never been a good napper. He sleeps well at night only getting up once or twice. Here is the situation:

*He will only nap for 30 minutes.
*He will nap longer if it is in my lap.
*He will only nap in a swing or in the stroller
*He is a pretty fussy little guy
*We do have a wind down routine pre-nap
*Doesn't like to be swaddled anymore

Now, if he was happy and didn't seem tired, I would just deal with it, but he's not. As it is now, I am giving him 4-5 naps a day which is really getting to the point of frustration. We go about 2 hours in between naps which is based on his tired signs.

I really want to get him to nap longer, I think we would all be better for it. So, I'm trying to transition him to nap in his co-sleeper. It's not working well. He's not going to nap without help, so I bounce him/sshh him/pat him till he's asleep. Then I put him down. He wakes up, we start again. If you put him down while he's still a little awake, he just starts to play. If he sees me, he gets all excited.

He doesn't like to be worn, so that isn't an option. I don't want to have a sleeping baby on me all the time (we've done if for 5 months and I still do it in the evenings).

So, do I just deal with a 30 minute napper and keep him in the swing/stroller? Or, do I keep on persevering with getting him to nap in his co-sleeper or crib with the hopes that he will sleep longer?

I feel kind of like a failure in this department. Although, I realize there are a million sleep books out there because it is a problem for so many people (I've read a few of them).

This is so tiring for me....all of the options require a whole lot of work on my part without much of a great response. Sorry for rambling...

Any advice or support or stories would be so appreciated.

[atlantafemme]

You're not a failure! Sorry I don't have helpful advice but you're not alone and it's not your fault. Remember that humans are the only species that set acceptable sleep guidelines (where, when, how long) for their young.

My LO was a nap fighter from about 3 months-8 months and he was waking almost every hour at night. I was exhausted and at my wit's end... Now, at 9 months, it's still a challenge sometimes but he's doing much better. Nothing I did worked. I think he just had to find his own groove and I had to let go of everything I'd been programmed to think about sleep. Now he usually naps about 3 times a day for an hour, sometimes less, sometimes more, sometimes on my lap, in his carseat, stroller, our bed, etc.... I take what and where I can get it. And he wakes 2xnight.

Your LO may be cranky for other reasons like teething or being overwhelmed by developmental changes.

I know it's hard to believe when you're on the verge but it will get better eventually, mama!

[Biscuits & Gravy]

In my experience the longer naps did not come around until later, maybe 7 or 8 months old. Until then it was still just a bunch of little naps here and there, when they were tired they slept for a bit. As they got older they fell into a more predictable nap "schedule". So my advice would be to give it a little more time.

[maptome]

Just a thought. Are you sure that your LO is unhappy because he's tired? I know that the general advice is that babies sometimes can't sleep because they are overtired. Well that advice really messed me up. My babe just needs very little sleep. I was trying to make her sleep according to "average hours by age" or whatever. When I ignored that, she was much happier that I wasn't trying to force her to nap all the time. I ignore her yawns too. She yawns when she's bored. Again, just a thought.

Also, a dairy elimination diet helped extend her naps from 30 minutes to up to 2 hours sometimes.

[maptome]

Originally Posted by Biscuits & Gravy

In my experience the longer naps did not come around until later, maybe 7 or 8 months old. Until then it was still just a bunch of little naps here and there, when they were tired they slept for a bit. As they got older they fell into a more predictable nap "schedule". So my advice would be to give it a little more time.

Hmmm. Interesting. My LO is about 8 months now and just started this longer napping thing.

[MeredithK]

Originally Posted by atlantafemme

Your LO may be cranky for other reasons like teething or being overwhelmed by developmental changes.

Today, you are right. After fighting this last nap with crying I massaged his gums and discovered his 1st tooth coming through!

Originally Posted by Biscuits & Gravy

In my experience the longer naps did not come around until later, maybe 7 or 8 months old.

Interesting...maybe he's just not ready yet.

Originally Posted by Pearl H

Just a thought. Are you sure that your LO is unhappy because he's tired?

Also, a dairy elimination diet helped extend her naps from 30 minutes to up to 2 hours sometimes.

I'm pretty sure he's tired. Rubbing the eyes and cranky. We don't do dairy, I wish it helped more!

[lotus.blossom]

I have one of those. He's 10.5 months and he is my 17 minute napper
He sleeps relatively good at night, some are better than others. But during the day? I have been consistantly putting him down since birth and have only had him nap longer than a half hour maybe twice in his life. It runs the average of 17 minutes. I've got the routine down now. I can get a lot done in 17 minutes.

I make light about it but sometimes it really does bother me. Especially when other people brag about having great sleepers. But every child is different. I didn't believe at first that he could exist off of so little sleep, but he does and he is happy and refreshed after this mini nap. I guess its runs in the family. My MIL has been raving for the last 10 years about how my DH never napped and now I am getting a taste of what she went through.

[BlueWolf]

5 months was a really bad time for my DD... I'm surprised we survived it! lol I have a bad napper/sleeper here too. She's currently napping in her swing and has been out for an hour. The older she's gotten, the longer her naps have become. They used to be 15-20 minute naps every 90 minutes. But how we're down to 2-3 naps ranging from 30-120 minutes... still in the swing though. We're working on transitioning naps to our bed, but we're obviously failing at that right now.

[mamacolleen]

You have described my DD when she was 5 months to a T. It caused me so much stress and frustration since it seemed as if all I was doing some days was trying to get her to nap. She also couldn't really nap when she was being carried or worn and so I felt so tied to the house for a few months... I felt crazy.

It didn't help reading all those sleep books too because I think sometimes their "wisdom" just doesn't work for all kids. The whole "sleep begets sleep" thing doesn't really hold up with my DD for example. If she sleeps more than usual during the day, she doesn't sleep as well at night. In fact, I find she sleeps best at night now (at 8 months) if she's awake from her last nap about 5 hours before bedtime. Also, if I can keep her awake longer between her 2 naps, she'll usually have a better second nap.

I also agree with a PP that sometimes ignoring DD's yawns works. It used to drive me crazy that she'd be yawning like 30mins. after her short naps. Now, I first try to take her out and do something, and most of the time that's all she needed... a change of scene.

I guess my point is that I think a lot of this is developmental. At 5 months, DD could only be awake for 1 1/2 - 2 hours at a time. She had a major meltdown if she went longer. We were stuck to the house a lot. At about 7 months, she was like "suddenly" able to last much longer between her naps and we are now consistently down to 2 naps. They're still usually shortish naps (around 45 mins) although she occasionally surprises me with a longer one. It's a hard age to be in. She also still needs to be bounced or nursed (or both!) to sleep for her naps, but she does nap in her crib. I would keep trying to transition your LO to the co-sleeper... it may take awhile but eventually I think he'll get it. Good luck. I bet in the next few months you'll notice a difference.

[RiverandJulie]

Every baby is different, but I sometimes have the same issue, he will sleep fine while I am holding him, but wakes up when I put him down. So, what often works for me is:
Hold him for 30 + minutes of sleep. Wait until he is doing that snoring, limp, really asleep thing.
Put him in bed or his bassinet, but keep my arms under him for a couple of minutes (I dont want to shock him with the cold bed).
Once the bed feels warm, I take out my arms and squeeze his body a little.
After a couple minutes I just lay my hands on him. Another minute and I walk away.

The key is, if during any of these steps, he wakes up....start it all over. It is a process, but I can often get 2+ hr naps from him.

AN interesting side note, my husband just lays him down and he sleeps, none of this necessary....

[kdescalzi]

First of all, I would not give up on wearing your lo for naps. Try to borrow a couple different kinds and experiment with them. By 5mo my dd loved sleeping in the ergo on my back. If she wasn't sleepy she just hung out back there. Second of all, don't sweat it!! My first was a 20-30min napper for the first year of his life and I stressed big time. The sleep books I read stressed me out and I felt like I was failing in giving ds the sleep he needed. Now I look back and think I wasted too much time worring over the fact that he napped so much less than "every" other baby out there. Just go with it...your lo will grow out of this and will be sleeping longer naps one day. You are so very lucky to be waking only 1-2 times a night...please understand how lucky you are and accept your cat napper. I was a cat napper and so are both my kids. There is nothing you can do about it but let it go and not worry. Use the swing, take along walk in the stroller, go for a car ride, and try more carriers. You are doing a great job just stop worrying and enjoy your beautiful baby!!! HTH

[ElliesMomma]

my baby is that way too. he sleeps well overnight also, so i've decided to be GRATEFUL for that. during the day, i expect a half hour nap from him, every 2-3 hours, regardless if we're in or out somewhere.

if you feel that your baby NEEDS a longer nap, here's what i do: lay down with him and try to take a nap yourself. i myself fought naps for the first maybe 4 months of his life. when i finally gave in (and found something for my older child to do to occupy her, and finally got it through to her to not disturb me while i was napping with the baby), it turned out to be pretty nice. if this is at all a possibity for you, i urge you to try it!

my baby will usually sleep as long as i'm asleep. but on the other hand, the minute i shift around to adjust the pillows or get up to pee, that's all the signal that he needs and nap time is over.

[ShwarmaQueen]

Sigh. Both of my babes were/are poor nappers. I don't really think there's much that can be done to lengthen them in a gently fashion. Even waiting until he's really tired, DS still wakes up at the 20-30 min mark. I joke and say you could cook rice by the length of his naps!

Hang in there.

[MeredithK]

Originally Posted by RiverandJulie

AN interesting side note, my husband just lays him down and he sleeps, none of this necessary....

That is interesting. We haven't tried DH doing it.

Originally Posted by kdescalzi

You are so very lucky to be waking only 1-2 times a night...please understand how lucky you are and accept your cat napper. I was a cat napper and so are both my kids. There is nothing you can do about it but let it go and not worry.

I know I am lucky in that regard.

Thank you for all your insight. I think I'm just going to just let it go. I'll keep on trying to get him out of the swing because he can't be in there forever. If I feel he needs a longer nap, I'll let him sleep on me. Like he is right now!

[marispel]

Have you tried laying him down on his tummy? I wouldn't do it for nighttime sleeping but would try it for a nap or two.

Have you tried watching him after he falls asleep to possibly see what is waking him? Is he moving around alot? Is it his arms? Does he wake up hungry? Does he wake up happy or grumpy?

[redvlagrl]

DD was a crappy napper until about 6 mths. She's nap about 20-30 mins in between each feeding. Then suddenly, BOOM. 2 hour naps! I had to check if she was still alive!

Then at 10 mths she dropped a nap. Now she sleeps 2-3 hrs during the day, plus 12 hrs straight at night (she si 17.5 mths).

I didn't do anything with the naps - they just resolved themselves.

[Addie]

I am totally, totally there, except DS is 4 months old. It causes me too much stress and I'm consciously trying to let it go. This thread has helped.

My current resolution is to hold him for one good nap per day - if I hold him, I can usually rock/shush him through his first waking and get a 1.25 - 1.5 hour nap out of him. Then I just see what happens the rest of the day. Sometimes he gets quick naps in the stroller, Ergo or car, sometimes I can lay him down for 30-45 min (if he's swaddled, otherwise it's more like 15-20). Like you, PP, he sleeps well at night, so I try to focus on being happy about that and doing what we need to do in order to get through the day. I'm hoping a better napping system will present itself in due time.

[MeredithK]

I just wanted to write again to say thank you for all of your help. The last couple of days have been so much better. Not because he has slept any longer, but I have just decided to accept however long he does nap. I have been able to transition him to sleep in his co-sleeper instead of the swing. I realized that he just wasn't tired enough when I was trying. So, now instead of just letting 2 hours in between naps, I go for 2 1/2 -3 hrs. He's a little more fussy towards the end, but it only takes minutes to get to sleep and no crying.

Although, yesterday, he did take an hour nap in the stroller!!