Should I put him back in diapers? Potty training freakout...

[Pumpkin_Pie]

DS decided to potty train about a month ago on his own. He will be three next week, and has had quite a few false starts. This time, he was pretty close to 100% with telling me when he had to pee and poop for quite a while, but for the past few days, he is suddenly pooping in his underwear every...single...time. It is driving me INSANE! Tonight, he pooped, and his underwear were a little loose around his legs (he is skinny), and it rolled down his pant leg and onto a very nice hand tufted wool rug. I got up, accidentally kneeled in it, ground it into the rug, got poop all over my brand new jeans, and just lost it.

If he is naked, he is 100%, he will use the potty without fail every time, and without me asking him to go. No reminders at all. If he is in underwear, he will pee when he needs to, although I will tend to remind him to try about every hour or two, depending on how busy we are. With poop though, it is sheer luck. If I catch him when he needs to go, he will poop in the potty, but if I ask him to pee and he needs to poop five minutes later, it will be in his underwear.

Honestly, I am ready to just put him back in diapers. I hate getting so frustrated at him, but cleaning up poopy underwear multiple times a day (he poops three to four times a day) is just getting so gross. Tonight was so, so, so, so beyond what I wanted to deal with. I sent him to bed without nursing and put him in a pull up, which he usually wears to bed anyway. He would be heartbroken to wear diapers during the day, and he has said that he loves wearing underwear. I am just not sure where to go from here.

Will it suddenly click one day? How can I get him from naked potty training to fully clothed potty training? I am feeling so lost and I also feel terrible that I got angry at him.

[serenbat]

Tonight was so, so, so, so beyond what I wanted to deal with. I sent him to bed without nursing

sad

[Pumpkin_Pie]

Originally Posted by serenbat

sad

I know. He didn't cry, he just climbed into bed with a very sad look on his face and then asked for a cup of milk and I said I would bring him one later. I just went up to apologize to him and nurse him down and he is asleep.

I feel like the crappiest mama ever right now.

[MeepyCat]

My kid is eight days older than yours, and mama, I think that potty training is (so far) THE test of will and sanity for parents. DS wants to wear underpants, he loves them so, but he's not even hit-or-miss, it's just all miss. I let him pee all over everything for a week and then I put him back in diapers. We'll try again later.

If I had a good set of suggestions, I'd be trying them at home. Right now all I've got is sympathy. You and your boy will make things up tomorrow. And rumor has that we get past this stage eventually.

[Freud]

Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie

Honestly, I am ready to just put him back in diapers. I hate getting so frustrated at him, but cleaning up poopy underwear multiple times a day (he poops three to four times a day) is just getting so gross. Tonight was so, so, so, so beyond what I wanted to deal with. I sent him to bed without nursing and put him in a pull up, which he usually wears to bed anyway. He would be heartbroken to wear diapers during the day, and he has said that he loves wearing underwear. I am just not sure where to go from here.

Will it suddenly click one day? How can I get him from naked potty training to fully clothed potty training? I am feeling so lost and I also feel terrible that I got angry at him.

I think you sort of answered your own question. Diapers won't really help him potty learn, and he IS still just learning, and will make him feel bad. Usually kids will take 1 step forward and 2 steps backward when they're making developmental progress. He'll get it soon, he's almost there. Punishment won't work for this. Just consistency and patience.

[Carrie Posey]

Poopy underwear are the worst!! When my son was potty training we went to target and bought a huge package of cheep underwear and when the poo accidents happened we threw out the underwear, unless I could just shake out the mess (if his poo was harder it was not such a big deal) I know it was not the most ecological thing to do, but it really saved my sanity and it did not take too long for him to get it. Good luck! Yes, It will click, I promise this will be a thing of the past before you know it!

[Pumpkin_Pie]

How do you go from naked to clothed potty training though? He is so great at it when he is naked. I usually just have him strip from the waist down when we get inside for the evening, but I totally forgot tonight. Last night after I put him to bed, he actually woke up and told me that he had to poop and he went into the bathroom and pooped. The going back and forth is so hard.

I know that punishments don't work at all. I actually got so ticked at his school for punishing him over potty training, and then I went and punished him tonight. I just feel like such a bad mama. I HATE potty training with a PASSION. I try not to let him see that as much as I can, but seriously, I am so sick of everything smelling like poop all the time. We are leaving for a four day trip to Boston on Thursday, and I am absolutely terrified about his potty time there. We are going on a five hour bus ride, and I really don't want to deal with poopy underwear on the bus, or at a museum, but I am so lost on what to do.
Put him in underwear and just try to ask as frequently as I can? Put him in a pull up against his will and tell him that it is only for the trip? I hate this! I hate myself, and I am so sick of poop.....

Oh, and if anyone has any ideas on how to get poop out of a wool carpet, that would help a bit.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

Originally Posted by Carrie Posey

Poopy underwear are the worst!! When my son was potty training we went to target and bought a huge package of cheep underwear and when the poo accidents happened we threw out the underwear, unless I could just shake out the mess (if his poo was harder it was not such a big deal) I know it was not the most ecological thing to do, but it really saved my sanity and it did not take too long for him to get it. Good luck! Yes, It will click, I promise this will be a thing of the past before you know it!

See, I was putting him in very stained padded underwear until about a week and a half ago. Then he really got it nearly without fail and he was telling me when he needed to pee and poop, and was regularly going two to three hours in between trips to the potty. I bought him some nicer underwear from Gymboree with alligators, dogs, cars and trucks on them (that he ADORES) and now this... He completely stained his really nice white ones with the alligators on them today after he begged me to wear them this morning. We talked about how he would need to poop in the potty if he wanted to keep them white and nice, and he said that he would tell his teachers at school if he needed to poop, and he ended up coming home with poop in them.

I sort of think maybe I should pack away all of the nice underwear for now and wait out this poop thing.

[justmama]

hot water and oxyclean will get poop out of your rug. when my middle child was potty learning we had an accident in my room that she stepped on by accident when she realized what she had done and it ground into our berber carpets and the entire room reeked to high heaven. I wiped it up as much as possible and then did oxyclean and hot water and some elbow grease three times I think? It came up quite easily. The smell went away once it was clean.

you sound like you had a hard night. i don't have any potty advice for you but wanted to share some oxyclean wisdom and hugs because you sound so upset and frustrated tonight. i hope things go better in the morning. maybe try apologizing to him tomorrow? I think that was a great idea and he would really appreciate it in the morning.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I will try the Oxyclean tomorrow. Just have to figure out where to buy it.

We co-sleep, so I can nurse him when I go up to bed. I usually get him out of bed to use the potty just before I climb in too, which he doesn't ever protest. I think I will do that so that it wakes him up just enough to nurse. I have never not nursed him at night. He has fallen asleep in the car, but when we get into bed, he has always woken up to nurse back down. Just really feeling like I am such a failure at potty training right now...

[nameisrio]

Throwing away poopy underwear worked for us in two ways:
1) I didn't have to wash them out, and
2) My daughter did NOT want to lose her pretty panties!
Maybe this tactic works better with girls; I don't know. I would also tell her we'd have to throw out her cute pants or dress if she peed or pooped in them. Never actually had to, but she seemed to understand. Of course, she was about 3 yrs. 2 mos. when she finally potty trained, so I think you still have some time to get it right.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

He is crazy about Thomas the Train underwear, and they are relatively cheap. I might go buy some of them and start tossing them if he poops in them. I wonder if that would help, or just stress him out more.

I am definitely starting to decompress. I am going to nurse him tonight and apologize/talk about what happened tomorrow. I am also going to put away his nice underwear and just get out the padded/stained ones for now and maybe in a week or so, get some new Thomas underwear and tell him that we will have to throw them out if he poops in them.

Still not sure what I am going to do on our trip to Boston. I have 12 pairs of underwear packed, and I am going to ask him if he would be willing to wear a pull-up on the bus ride down, but I doubt he will go for it. I think I will just end up trying to potty him every hour or so and do naked time in the hotel in the evening.

[Carrie Posey]

Have you tried commando? (no undies) I would try no undies with roomy pants and see if that helps. I swear he will not go to the senior prom with poo in his pants! He'll get there!

[kirstenb]

DS pooped in his underwear every day for three months until he finally decided to poop in the toilet. I understand your frustration. It was hard not to get angry at times, but I found it was a lot less stressful when I just accepted the fact that he would poop in his underwear. I stopped making a big deal about it, and DS was pooping in the toilet a short time later. Hang in there!

I would rinse DS's underwear out in the laundry room and soak it in a bucket of hot water with OxiClean before I washed it in the laundry. We don't have stains on any of his underwear.

[redpajama]

My son potty-trained early, at about 22-23 months, but there was about a 3-month lag on his pooping. He pooped in his pants, about once a day, for 3 months. What helped with him was to catch him "in the act" and put him on the potty. The first time, he had already pooped, but it was sort of stuck to his butt so he was able to sit on the toilet and let it fall off (and into the toilet). A day or two later, we caught him when he was sort of half-finished, and he finished on the toilet. After that, he was pretty well set.

Try to be patient. I personally wouldn't put him back in diapers--even if he was okay with it, but especially since he's not. As best you can (trust me, I KNOW it's not always easy) try to be matter-of-fact about cleaning him after accidents. He won't poop his pants forever.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

Originally Posted by Carrie Posey

Have you tried commando? (no undies) I would try no undies with roomy pants and see if that helps. I swear he will not go to the senior prom with poo in his pants! He'll get there!

I hadn't thought of trying pants with no underwear. He is so skinny, most of the pants are pretty "roomy" in the bum. I wonder if that would help him to remember? I will definitely try it out once we get back from out trip.

Originally Posted by kirstenb

DS pooped in his underwear every day for three months until he finally decided to poop in the toilet. I understand your frustration. It was hard not to get angry at times, but I found it was a lot less stressful when I just accepted the fact that he would poop in his underwear. I stopped making a big deal about it, and DS was pooping in the toilet a short time later. Hang in there!

I would rinse DS's underwear out in the laundry room and soak it in a bucket of hot water with OxiClean before I washed it in the laundry. We don't have stains on any of his underwear.

I try so hard to not freak out about poop. I know it is totally counter productive. I did apologize to him this morning, and I swear every time I lose it with him that I won't do it again. I just was overtired last night, this big trip is coming up that is stressing me out a bit, and I had literally just put on my brand new (skinny ) jeans to try on when I knelt down and got poop from knee to ankle absolutely ground right into them. It also got so far into the (really nice, super expensive) carpet (that a friend gave to me and I can not afford to replace). I don't let him eat anything messy around the carpet, so I thought we were safe, and now it is poopy. It was just such a mess of a snowball effect that I flew off the handle.

Anyway.....today is a new day, and I did toss the undies from last night. It actually made me feel much better to not think about cleaning them. DS asked why I was tossing them, and I said because they were poopy and he protested a teeny bit, but seemed to understand. He is wearing a pair of car undies today to school and I said we would have to toss them if he pooped in them too, and he said, "Noooo!!!!", so when I said he would have to poop in the potty all day, he said he would. We shall see! If he really freaks out about throwing his car underwear away, I will "rescue" them, but I am definitely going to give it a shot.

Tell me this has an end soon........

I am definitely going to buy a large thing of OxyClean asap too. It sounds like it is the ticket to less stress in my life at this point.

[HappyMommy2]

Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie

...I think I will just end up trying to potty him every hour or so ....

This is what I would do your trip. I would not put him back in diapers at this time.

I finally figured out not to "ask" but just matter-of-factly state that it is potty time every X minutes and lead him to the bathroom. When asked, my son always said no, but very often he will go once seated on the potty.

If he protests, I tell him he doesn't *have* to go (produce) but I do want him to sit and try.

[prancie]

What worked for us was no undies and loose pants. He is totally reliable like that, but not quite as reliable with undies, though he does well with that too. There is no great reason for underwear anyways, i think commando is easier for a lot of reasons. DH showed him how to pee standing up with his pants on and that was a big deal for ds.

I think underwear is hard for them to manage. It's tight and can be hard to get down and feels a lot like a diaper.

[JBaxter]

What I did ( esp for ds3) was not use underpants. After our naked time we did commando baggy sweat pants. Nathan had no butt so they almost fell off < serious plumbers crack LOL) We did that for a long time.
It was just something about underpants that made him "forget" to go. I also did manditory potty times if he had not gone in a while.

I would not put him back in diapers he does have the hang of it this is a minor glitch.

OH natures miricle also works for kid poop ( you get it at the pet store) Nathan had runny poop one day after / during his nap he got out of his crib and started the vacuum that was sitting in his room. YUP he vacuumed /ground in the poop I never liked that vacuum anyway

[marispel]

Not sure if this is helpful or not, but we're researching PL right now. I purchased the book potty train in 3 days. It says that you need to let the child know that it is NOT ok to poop in their pants...don't be angry or punish them, but let them know you are not happy and it is not ok.

Then you get the child to help you clean up the mess (with your assistance of course). Basically, you tell them, matter-of-factly, to take off his wet or dierty underpants. Then let him work at it on his own; don't do it for him. When he has put on dry clothing, tell him to put the wet/dirty clothes in the laundry area. Let him carry the clothes from the bathroom. According to the book - usually tow or three episodes will help him realize he as control and can avoid this situation; the associated unpleasant consequences will motivate him to stay dry/clean.

.....so, that's just what I've read from this book....not sure if it will help or not. It also says..DO NOT go back to diapers, it just confuses them.