They don't sleep (twins) and I am going insane...literally. - Page 2

[Leersia]

Oh, my dear woman, I saw your post heading when I was scrolling down through the forums, and couldn't not post to you. My twins are now almost 8, but I swear that even now, when a newborn starts crying, I have a stress response that suggests I have PTSD from parenting newborn twins. I know that it doesn't really help, when you feel that you are literally about to drop said and starting to hallucinate from stress and lack of sleep, for people to tell you that this phase will be behind you soon enough, but it will. I also found nursing very painful for about the first 8 weeks (too painful to tandem), and then after that you could have hit my nipples with a baseball bat and I wouldn't have felt it. I tandem nursed them with a double football hold on a large nursing pillow starting at about 8 weeks, and it made such an enormous difference because I comfort them both at the same time.

I was really paranoid about using formula due to supply issues, and in retrospect, I think some judicious use of it would have really helped my sanity a lot. I agree with the PPs that you need to find some way to get a block of sleep for your health and sanity. Hugs to you!

[geo_girl]

hi there nummies,

I hope that this finds you in a little better mental space today.

Please do not feel bad about supplementing with a bit of formula. You have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of them. PLUS you can get someone ELSE to do the feeding while you have a rest or hang out with your toddler.

Thinking of you,
charlene

[Freeman]

Originally Posted by Leersia

I was really paranoid about using formula due to supply issues, and in retrospect, I think some judicious use of it would have really helped my sanity a lot. I agree with the PPs that you need to find some way to get a block of sleep for your health and sanity. Hugs to you!

Nummies, how are you? I know we are all thinking of you! I know you said that you are leery about giving formula but don't pump out any milk b/c the twins are always eating. It might only take giving 1 bottle of formula. If they take the bottle and are content for a while, you could hopefully let your supply build for a couple of hours and then pump (in between you getting some REST). I think you would prob. feel so much better with several hours sleep!

[jeliphish]

I concur with the previous posts.... a bottle of formula or donated milk may be a life saver. Seriously. One bottle right before bed for both of them. You HAVE to take care of yourself first and this is so difficult to learn with the first baby(s). I learned quickly with my second that I could not do what I did with DD1 or I would seriously have a nervous break down. Sleep deprivation will make you go insane...and I am completely and utterly serious. It makes you delusional, depressed, feel pain everywhere, like throwing up.... it's dangerous. Even if you are not having supply issues, a bottle at night when they are supposed to be cluster feeding is going to help them store fat and stay asleep longer. I would suggest a). trying a hospital grade pump b). borrowing milk from a nursing friend or c). formula. A 3 or 4 oz bottle at night may make all the difference in the world. Can you sidecar their crib next to the bed? Maybe if they sleep on their tummy they will sleep longer, and if you are concerned about their safety- you could get a angel care monitor. Try sleeping them snuggled together and apart. Try the swing... Anything. It is survival mode right now and you are not going to form any bad habits if it takes a swing or sleeping in their crib beside you. You need rest Hang in there

[twinmama2010]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through so much pain and exhaustion. I have to ask though- have you worked with a lactation consultant and evaluated your supply? Our first few weeks were exactly like this with screaming non stop- so we brought in a lactation consultant and went through 7-10 days of pumping and working with her and we determined that I was just not making enough milk for both babies. I had difficulty getting pregnant due to PCOS, and I hadn't known that PCOS can also mean low- supply, but I don't know your specific circumstances. I think it would be worth looking into- because if your babies aren't sleeping and screaming non-stop it seems to me that they aren't ever satiated. We are now using an organic formula and also nursing/pumping and the schedule is much easier. The girls sleep longer and my hubby can help out with feedings. If your sanity is suffering, please take this in to consideration. I felt desperate too- but I can enjoy my days with my babies now because I am well rested. I hope you can find a solution that works for you.

[pualum]

I'm sorry, honey. I think about you often when I'm feeding at night. I know it doesn't solve your problem, but I want you to know I think about you. I don't think I can manage 3 babes at the same time, but if another momma from our group wants to come with I wouldn't mind letting you get some sleep. Maybe, with the nice weather we could take them for a walk while you sleep.

If it's colic like a pp said you could try an amber anklet. I just got my little guy's today. I can FB you the info or give it to you when I see you again.

[snadaska]

I don't have any advice just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that you are having such a rough time. I hope things get better soon. It sounds like others on this board have some experience with a situation like yours. I really hope you get some sleep soon and that things improve. Good luck and let us know how you are.

[JudiAU]

Hugs. Sounds very, very hard. =(

Some thoughts:

don't give up on the pacifiers - sometimes it takes many tries before a baby will accept. I always wanted my babes to take them because I had to go back to work and so I tried really hard - totally lifesaver

If you can't pump and want to avoid formula, what about some donor milk? You might find someone locally...

One bf'ing mom I know said her sanity was saved by sleeping with one baby while hubby had the other

You might consider an elimination diet or is reflux possible? Those sounds like really insane demands on you.

Finally, I PROMISE it will get better. I SWEAR.

HUGS.

[marinak1977]

Oh Mandie... that sounds so so tough. No advice, but positive vibes and sleepy thoughts sent your way.