Exhausted! Please help!

[dexlor]

Let me start off by saying that I know we are incredibly lucky that DD at 23 months sleeps in her own crib at all. But we've been used to her going to sleep after nursing around 8/8:30 and waking up around 5:30/6am and then in bed with us for nursing. Three weeks ago she began struggling with this routine. Refusing to stay in her crib, we'd have her in our bed till she fell asleep and transfer her to our crib. She'd sometimes wake up screaming for us, possibly having nightmares? There were a couple of night that she was back on the routine (that we loved and miss) then two nights ago, she woke up crying, I went in and tried to soothe her but she would not stay in her crib. So, I offered for her to sleep on a cushy diaper changing pad on the floor with her door open (normally closed due to cats that like to sleep on people). She could easily see into our bedroom. She slept here until 6am then came to my side of the bed for milkies.

Several people suggested she was ready for a toddy bed. So, yesterday I converted her crib. She seemed thrilled about it and enjoyed getting in and out and playing with stuffed animals in the crib and so on. Last night she slept from 8:30-3:30 and came to my side of the bed, got in and went to "sleep"--in quotes because...and here's the reason I just can't sleep well with her...thrashing, snoring, etc.. At one point I couldn't tell the diff between her and DH's snoring.

I'm so exhausted. Last night for some reason I couldn't fall asleep till 12:30 am so I got 3 hours. Again, I know we're so lucky that she stays in her new "little girl" bed at all...I prefer that to big girl bed .

What should we say or do when she does come to us so early in the a.m.? I was going to try to get her back in her bed if this happened but I was too pooped and ended up staying awake anyway. She's like a little barnacle glomming onto me and snoring and being a light sleeper? Not a good combo for me. DH is exhausted too, though obviously getting more sleep since he's SNORING.

Any tips would be most appreciated.

Thanks!

[marispel]

If you want her to sleep in her bed, then you'll need to take her back to her bed and help her lay down. Tell her night night. If you want to sit by her bed, I would think that is fine but I wouldn't do anymore talking but rather make it boring. If she gets out of bed, then you take her back to bed and simply say, bed. If she does it again, then you put her back in her bed..no more talking. She may not like this, but it will be your Consistency that helps her learn that she needs to stay in her bed. It may take 20 times of putting her back in bed, but she will get it IF you do the same thing each and every time. You don't engage in conversation, you don't give in and put her in your bed....you keep putting her back in her bed each and every time. The first couple of nights will be exhausting, but worth it in the long run.

I think she'll get it rather quickly since she has been STTN previously...she just needs help getting back into the old habit vs creating a new one.

[slgt]

DD has gone through 2 similar phases since about 14 months, where going to sleep is just a battle, and then she'll go back to SLTTN with no problem. We just went through the phases exhausted and with as much patience as possible, and eventually got there. The first time she was moving into a toddler bed around the same time and that made it harder - we kept a mattress in her room as one of us would often end up spending 1/2 hour to an hour with her in there until she fell asleep.

Lots of luck to you!

[dexlor]

It is now 2:35 a.m. So, she came to me with her arms up to get into our bed and hour ago. Mind you, this is very hard for me to resist. I'd love to take her up and put her down between us. But I tried the consistancy thing. And it's hard or us not to talk to her. She climbed into our bed when I got out and when we said "back to your bed" she started crying but eventually was lured with a flashlight. She wouldn't lay down in her bed, but would lay down on the floor on a pillow which is there in case she ever rolled out of bed. Fine, so I left. On the monitor I heard noises. Went in to check and she was in a corner on the pillow playing with her stuffed animals. Tried to get her into bed again saying "not playtime, time to sleep". I ended up saying "I will leave and close the door if you don't lay down in bed"...so she just stood there looking at me. I left and closed the door. Heard her playing around, went in a little later and she was playing with the animals in her crib. I have no clue what I'm doing. I started getting forceful, making her lay down which of course made her cry and get out of the bed. DH came in and held her and lay her down and is now rubbing her back. Do we put the crib side back up? Do we remove all stuffed animals? Do we just give up and bedshare for part of the night? I right now absolutely despise how clueless I am about this. Do we close the door and leave her standing there all night till she passes out from exhaustion or plays till she's exhausted which messes up the whole next day either way for all of us? I can't believe I used to grumble to myself when she woke up at 5:30. I read here that some toddy's sleep till 7 and have friends whose sleep till 8. What's wrong with us? What have we done wrong? I want to scream at her. I want to tell her how she's messing up our lives. I hate to admit that's what I was feeling a moment ago...but that's what I was feeling. I even asked her "do you want to make mommy mad?". OMG, how could I say that to her. I basically told her that she controls my emotions, that I have none. Great message. What kills me? Is she said "yes". Pretty sure she didn't know what I was saying but that really got me.


If she kept coming to our bed, I think I could try to be consistent and just bring her back, but she seems perfectly content being wide awake with just a couple of nightlights on playing. What do we do about that? Think I'll go bang my head against a wall. Maybe get some sleep with a concussion. DH just came down and said her eyes are open but she's laying down. Ugh.