New, naive and totally ignorant

[Rubber Ducky]

Hi ladies! I only recently learnt about EC and here's the short version of my story: My parents came to visit a few weeks ago and were talking about potty training my brother by the time he was 18 months. They basically did it EC style although didn't use that particular term. They got me trying DS (then 16 months) on a small potty. At first he didn't like it but after just a day or two would point to the potty everytime I asked him if he wanted to poo. That's when I accidently found an article about EC and went "wow!". So I continued with the "ritual"--putting him on the potty after meals when I know he's very likely to poo anyway.

We've caught a few poos and a few pees but I really don't know what to think about all this. I never planned on potty training this early and just sort of stumbled upon it. I feel as though now that I've started I don't really want to stop. DS seems to understand but he also seems not to understand, if that makes any sense?

Am I doing the right thing? Is my DS actually ready for this? I read the late starters thread and we're talking about 10-13 months being "late". In my case, DS must be ancient! So am I really ECing or is this just early traditional potty training?

Any thoughts?

[georgiamum]

hey, if your son is pointing at the potty when he needs to go and cooperating - go for it! don't miss this opportunity. It might be much harder to get him using the potty when he is older and saying no to everything.

I honestly don't always know what the difference between ec and gentle potty training is, except for the name and that ec starts younger. of course the old style of potty training with punishments and forcing the kid to go is nothing like ec. but I think a gentle approach to potty training an older kid is based on communication, too.

[sapphire_chan]

and I've seen people with 8 month olds worry about being "later starters".

The big things with ECing a toddler is that
1. you're going to be dealing with mobility--meaning you'll need to be thinking about how to encourage them to sit
2. you'll probably be doing things by timing more than you would with a younger baby--which you've already got down pat
3. you're going to need to be aware of the desire for independence--you may have times where you have to back off and let him choose the potty time/place

The difference between ECing a toddler and doing early potty learning is basically in how much help YOU provide. Like right now, it's almost all you. You're helping him get to the potty when you know he'll probably need to poop, his part is "just" ("just" because this is surprisingly difficult for some kids) to take that opportunity when you offer. Whereas, with potty learning there's this myth that a kid who can't do all of it alone (know they need to go, get to potty, remove clothes, get on potty, etc) isn't ready to do any of it and that helping with the parts they can't do alone is "pushing things".

[hrsmom]

That's a good point about how involved the caregiver is. I think at any age you can offer the potty at certain times, and not worry if you catch everything. You may be starting out at a stage where you catch a few each day, and that's cool! You can talk to him about what's going on, and thank him for pointing at the potty so you can help him go. Sounds like you're doing a good thing with your LO.

[3 Star Mom]

I think that you are on the right path. I used EC mothods with my two oldest to potty train them. I didn't really know about EC at the time, but I just got the diaper off and learn their patterns, then took them to the potty when I thought they had to go. You have to learn the child's potty patternes no matter what age you start at. And their will always be accidents and setbacks.

Now I am trying EC with my littlest guy (6 mo.) and I think now that age is kind of irrelivant, other than dealing with mobility and things like that. I think that as long as it is handled in a gentle and respectful way than a child will only benafit from learning about thier body and that pee and poop are normal and where to put it. Just try to avoid power struggles and keep the potty and especially accidents a nutral thing.

I say keep it up.

[Bendemolena]

Don't worry about what to call it. The goal of EC is not early potty training, it's communication with your child about elimination needs. Your son may still be in diapers until a more "traditional" (Western) age, despite your introducing him to the potty now.

I tend to be a relaxed EC-er. I have DS in cloth diapers most of the time, but we started EC at 8 months (he's now 14). We've gone back and forth in terms of number of catches, but we're at the point now where we get maybe 75% of poos in the potty and he will pee whenever I offer, provided I ask him first and he answers "uh huh" or gets an urgent look in his eyes and turns toward the bathroom.

You're not going to damage your son by pottying him "early", so long as you don't involve force, coercion or shaming. Don't think of it as training, don't put any pressure on him to perform, and don't be disappointed if you have misses or if he's still in diapers 1 or 2 years from now. If you keep it relaxed and just offer when you feel like it, and take him when he signals, then you're doing great!