Friendly advice please, trying to EC number three

[3 Star Mom]

Ok, this is my story:
I have three kids dd almost 5, ds1 3 and ds2 6mo. I first heard about EC when my sister did it with her son (now almost 2) and I decided to try it with my third. So this is my first time with EC, although I used EC techniques with the older 2 (without really knowing that's what it was) when I potty trained them, ds1 is still in the thick of it.
So I am having a hard time with ds2. I've been ECing him since about 4wks. and his signals have always been a bit subtle, so with the other 2 kids demanding so much attention I miss A LOT of pee. I try to use timing since I cannot be holding him all the time. I also have a really hard time getting the first pee after a nap because I need to put him to sleep in the bedroom so that the older ones don't wake him up, but if I am not there immediately upon waking he has already peed by the time I get there.
I guess the most frustrating thing to me is that I feel like I know his timing pretty good, but I still miss. I'll take him for a potty opp and he does't go, then literally like 2mins. after I put him down somewhere it's PEE. I just had him on the potty! He's Eing but I don't know if were Cing. I am trying to figure out how to be the most consistent. I always have his diaper off when I nurse and if we have time alone without dd and ds. Does this sound normal or do you think he is having a hard time because I can't give him undivided attention?
I really want to continue, but I don't want to add frustration to my already crazy life. Ideas and encouragement welcome.

[hrsmom]

Hi- Welcome to the forum! I only have one so far, so I can only imagine what it would be like to EC with older kids. There's nothing wrong with doing EC "part time"- you're still doing great with your babe! It is totally normal to eliminate a couple of minutes after being on the potty, too. I think they all do that!

Gotta go!

[theboysmama]

in the beginning i kept dd in a fitted diaper (w/ or w/out a cover) and I kept a bblp in the bathroom, on her changing table, by my bed (in the co-sleeper), in the living room, in the car, etc.
Having potties all over the place really helped.
My dh came up with the in arms hold and it worked wonders. he would sit dd on the potty and then carry the potty on his hip with dd leaning back toward his arm pit and his arm cradling her and the potty. (I don't know if that makes since) It was awesome bcs dd would sit on the potty and as long as we were carrying her around wouldn't fuss and it gave and arm free and made me mobile to help the other kids. Also when she started to push her feet down to get off the potty if we were holding her she wouldn't do that and would be more likely to stay sitting until she had gone. I can still carry her like that but not for long (she is about 20 lbs).
It is about doing what works for your child and your family, for us it was just important to make sure she got changed asap and to catch as much as possible.
Good luck. and it is definately possible to ec with older children.

[seraf]

Figuring out the attention thing is hard. EC, in my opinion, is lots of fun. It's just finding a happy medium, so you can have the fun without the hard.

Just like you manage to find enough time to nurse him (I didn't have enough time for undivided attention to potty myself, so I don't really think its necessary), there is time enough to potty him with older kids in the home.

One thing I found really helpful for the stage where they pee 2 minutes after you offer is books. It helps the older kids, too. You just go, hmm, I think he'll have to go soon, I'd like to try. So you pick up the potty, a wipe and a board book (if he waits 2 minutes after you potty him, he can hold it while you gather supplies). Sit down on the living room floor, potty between your legs, baby on the potty, hand him the book and call to your older kids, story time! If they are anything like my kids, they will practically tackle you in a rush to get position by your side (sometimes it's nice to have 2 books, in case he starts to eat the first one). So, you cue the baby, read the book, and cue with every page turn if necessary. He has a lot of time and doesn't feel rushed. Big kids are safe at your side. You picked a short book, so you only spent about 3 minutes reading and everyone's happy. Repeat as necessary. You may find he begins going sooner after you put him on the potty when he gets into the routine of it.

Another idea, encourage louder signals! When DD (my second) was 5 months old, I started blowing raspberries when I cued her. She picked up on that within a day and it was a nice loud signal. Somewhat embarassing in public, but less so than the wet shirt I would have gotten had she given a more subtle cue and I missed it.

Just a couple of thoughts! Hopefully you find what works well for you.
Seraf

[lisavark]

First, let me say that my DD is my only, and she did that refusal-then-pee-on-the-floor ALL the time at that age, even though she had my 100% undivided attention 24/7. So it's totally normal, and not just because of you having other stuff to do. But you might want to try offering multiple locations, not just the same old potty--he might be getting bored with the same spot if he's getting more mobile. Also, you could try recruiting your older kids to help with noticing cues and helping baby pee. That might help your ds2 with finishing up PL'ing himself, too! And I've heard that older siblings are often the best at noticing baby's cues.

Good luck!

[3 Star Mom]

Thanks everyone for the info. I will definitely try some of your suggestions. It's nice to talk to others that are going through the same thing, and to know that my little guy is pretty normal about the potty

[srs]

Not sure how heavy your baby is, but I've found babywearing a big help with ECing #2. (actually just a big help in general). DS does not want to pee or poop while being worn. Big sqiurming and protesting, much clearer signals than if he's on the floor away from me.

[3 Star Mom]

I do wear him quite a bit but I still don't get very clear signals, although he does seem to go longer between potty breaks if I have him in the sling.

When I do catch a pee lately it almost seems like an accident. I've tried to keep him on the potty longer if I feel like he needs to go. I will have him on the potty for 5-10min. sometimes (as long as he's happy) and he won't go, but sure enough when I put him down to play on the floor, after a min. or two there's a little wet spot. I also try to be there as soon as he wakes up. He sleeps in the bedroom so the older kids don't disturb him so at the first sound I hear I run in to get him and he's almost always already wet. I also have to keep a really close eye on him for poop. He will be on his tummy playing on the floor one min. and the next he's got a huge poop behind him, without so much as a peep. Sometimes I can catch him trying to push so that's an obvious sign but that doesn't always happen.

I get the feeling that he doesn't want to poop in his diaper though because sometimes I will find a tiny poop ,like he started but didn't want to finish, and I get him to the potty asap but even then he doesn't always finish right then. Sometimes that poop doesn't come out all the way for like another day or two .

I don't know, I just feel like maybe I'm not doing it right. Or I guess he could just be going through a weird stage. When we first started (around 4 wks.) up until about 5mo. or so (he's 6.5mo. now) he was doing so great at home I was thinking about getting him some tiny underwear.

How many catches a day do you think it takes to keep him aware and to be successful? I want to catch all, but despite my diligence lately it's just not happening.

Also if you are waiting on the potty for a long time do you keep queing or just once at the beginning? I que as soon as we get to the potty and then again when he does pee, and some times a couple in between if it is taking a long time. Sometimes me queing will cause him to stop peeing mid stream though.

What do you think is up?

[srs]

Six months is a pretty classic time for a "potty pause", when babies are learning lots of new things, teething, getting mobile, etc. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. It's not a linear process, for sure. There will be lots of new milestones and lots of backsliding as he grows.