I'm overwhelmed. [long] - Page 2

[MsVyky]

I really do think we have some reflux issues. She does a lot of back arching and she has a very strong desire to be upright. I really do hope that the chiropractor can help us with that. If now, I'll try the elimination thing (Though I'm vegetarian so that doesn't leave me with a whole lot to eat, LOL)

I never thought of seeing an LC. Maybe I'll look into that

[tracymom1]

Deep breath... long exhale....

Sometimes it is just so hard. When they are so tiny and fussy and uncomfortable and you are getting no sleep and no time to yourself and no time with your partner the days seem so long and the nights even longer. It is hard to believe that it could get better but IT DOES!! I promise. You have gotten some wonderful advice here - I think talking to a LC and going to a chiropractor are great ideas.

The one thing that DH and I did that helped a lot in those first few months was to actually schedule blocks of time when he was on duty and I was NOT! Even though it might have only been for an hour at a time, I knew that I could put in my earplugs and sleep a little bit. I remember that sometimes DD would cry but I knew she was well fed and that Papa was being a wonderful, loving parent and taking good care of her. Now she is 8 months old and they are best friends! I think that she learned to trust him during those early times.

Lots of hugs, Mama.

[tamara01]

Whoa! I've always been excited to be a mom, till I saw your post. I am overwhelmed too. Is it really that hard? Maybe you need some extra hands, hire a babysitter or something. 31 hours of labor? Whew, not my kind of delivery either.

[BetsyS]

I had a hard transition to motherhood, too, and my first baby was relatively easy.

One thing that really helped me was to realize how short his wake times were. At 5 months old, he was only awake about 60 minutes at a time, including feeding time. He nursed when he woke, and he nursed to sleep, so that was a big part of his awake time every day. I learned to watch the clock, and I'd try to be nursing him, swaddled, at that 60 minute mark, so that he could fall asleep. Luckily, he'd often stay asleep, but even if he only nursed/napped for 5 minutes, he was a much happier baby for it. Before I realized how short his wake times were, he was much fussier.

I swaddled him until he was over a year old, for every nap and every night-time.

He is still (at 3.5) on the very high end for sleep needs, and you can really tell when he doesn't get enough sleep. Of course, ymmv on this, and there are babies that don't need much sleep. But, mine did, and he was unable to fall asleep without help (swaddling and nursing and a quiet place), well, forever it seemed. So, I helped him, and he was much happier for it.

FWIW, he is very intense (even now) while he's awake. VERY. He is one of those 100% on/100% off kids, with no gray area. Makes life interesting.

He cried bloody murder in the car for the first 6 months, too, so it made getting out really incredibly hard, and I limited it a lot.

Other things that worked for me in those early days were a daily shower (it was also important to my sanity), a weekly "play" group, trying to simplify my life (cooking some on weekends so that dh could hold him, really prioritizing which things made me feel like my house was "clean", etc), and sleeping when I could, even if it was 5 minute cat naps with the baby.

Big hugs to you as you make this transition! It IS hard, but you're doing a great job.