Child Care fees - what is reasonable?

[SeekingSerenity]

For those who have their children with a private sitter, or any type of outside (non-family) child care, what do you pay on a per-day basis?

The reason I ask is this: about six weeks ago, a friend of mine called, very distraught over the level of care her current sitter was giving. Apparently, she witnessed the sitter roughly handling another child and had heard her own children saying "Miss K is gonna beat my @ss if I have an accident." She was desperate to get her kids out of there. It was a home-based daycare, the only care provider being an older lady who was watching 10 children ranging in ages from less than a year to about 8 (plus her own 3 grandchildren after school).

My friend has twin daughters who will be 4 in a couple of weeks (one of them is not completely PL'd yet). She didn't really want to ask me to watch her girls, since I am a stay-at-home mom who attends online school, has three kids to watch and is homeschooling the older two who are with me at home. But I live only about 3 minutes from her restaurant, and she trusts me. So, me being me, I jumped in and offered. I really didn't think about the cost. I just assumed she'd pay me what she was paying the other lady and it would be reasonable.

It turns out that what she was paying Miss K and is now paying me is equivalent to $25 a day. For two kids. It's been a long time since I had any children in daycare, but I checked out fees about a year ago and it was WAYYYY more than that! Heck, the fees 14 years ago were more than that for some places!

Honestly, I am starting to not like this situation. The stress of having five kids - four of them age 4 and under - has caused multiple break-through fibro flare-ups, the last one knocking me completely out for several days. It's tough because she doesn't raise her kids the way I raise mine, so there's a lot of conflict with the girls. They've figured out they can walk all over me since I try not to do many time-outs, and I take the AP approach to difficulties between the kids, while their mom doesn't really do much discipline of any kind until the girls get out of control - then she yells and spanks.

Anyway, the end result is that it is HARD watching her kids. They don't behave, they're very disruptive and they absolutely won't listen to me unless I raise my voice. To top it off, most of the time their mom brings them a hot lunch from her cafe, but once or twice a week she gets too busy to leave and I end up feeding them.

Also, every other Friday they go with their dad, but on the alternate Fridays when I have them, the restaurant has extended hours so the girls are at my house from 7:30 am until 8:30 pm and I have to give them dinner. Plus on those with-mom weekends, I think she wants me to start picking up the sitting duties on Saturdays as well, and she mentioned that since every other Friday they're not with me, she should get that alternate Saturday with no extra cost.

The bottom line is I am not getting enough. $12.50 per day per child? Geez. Great deal, right?

I am thinking of telling her I will watch them, not for a flat weekly fee, but for a daily fee of $40, which is $20 per child per day. That way she will only pay $160 on the 4-day weeks, and $200 on the 5-day weeks, plus if she needs a Saturday babysitter, she knows how much extra it will be. Is $100 a week for child-care for a 4-year old reasonable? I think it is...

If she does not like the increase, I will offer her two more weeks at her regular price but she has to find someone else for childcare.

I think I can tolerate the added stress if I am making a decent amount for what I am providing. I doubt she can find anyone else who will give her this price. I love her to pieces, but I don't think that is a good reason to let her have the Deal of the Century while I put myself through all the stress.

Is this a good price? Basically $20 per day, per 4-year old child, for a total of $40 per day for twins?

[starling&diesel]

The average for License-not-required in home daycare here is about $65 a day, per child. That assumes about an 8-9 hour day. Or $10 an hour for shorter periods.
You, my dear, are being shafted. And no wonder the quality of care was sorely lacking with Miss K. Good grief.

ETA: on those days that they are there waaaay longer, you should be getting waaaaay more money. I work 12+ hour shifts, as does my partner, and if DD is with her daycare provider for upwards of ten hours or more, we pay about $100. We maximize family for childcare, which is free, so that we can pay adequately when we have to go outside of the family for care.

[freestylemama]

We send our daughter to a great, accredited center in a medium sized Midwestern city. She's two and we pay $52/day for her.

From my perspective $100/week is a bargain! We're paying $104 for two days a week. I wouldn't pay as much as I am now for an in home situation. We used to have a friend watch DD and paid her $30/day to do so.

[Alyantavid]

I pay $16 per day for one child in a home based daycare. We do end up paying a flat weekly rate since we have to pay for 4 days per week whether he's there or not. So we send him 4 days and he stays home 1 day. We also live in a really low cost of living area and this is the standard rate.

I think you have a good plan.

[*MamaJen*]

I know there is a ton of regional variation for child care, but here in my part of Texas, the average price for in-home daycare is $20 - $30 per day per child. It's a bit more for a commercial center. I pay $25 per day for slightly less than 40 hours weekly, with a really nice stay at home mom, and I feel like she gives excellent care to my son.
If think it might be reasonable to charge $40 - $50 per day for both kids, for 8 or 9 hour days. For 12 hour days, I would charge more like $30 each.
Some DCPs do a flat weekly rate, since your child is taking up a spot whether or not they are there that day. Others will let you pay daily based on how often you're there.
And even more importantly, if you're not happy or if you're stressed, to the point where you're hurting yourself and your kids, you are under no obligation to keep watching them.

[SeekingSerenity]

Thanks! MamaJen, I am not far away from Austin, about an hour north, actually. So this really helps. I think $20 per day per child is acceptable... and you're right, I really should charge more for the 13-hour days!

[erinsmama]

We use a center for our two year old dd & pay almost $1450.00 per month, which is even high for our area. This is for full-time care at my place of work. We have a back up sitter for the days our center is closed & she has an in-home daycare with 2 other toddlers. She charges us $5.00 per hour for our DD. Can you believe how the price differs from just center based vs home-based?

There is a daycare center in our church that charges $235.00 per week for 2 year olds & $200.00 per week per child for ages 3-5 & they don't supply lunch, just snacks.

[momtoTnT]

We pay $35 per day for full time (5 days a week) care for my daughter. When both my kids were there, she charged us $75/day (multi-child discount). She charges slightly more for part time care (3 or less days per week). She's open from 7-5. If we needed her before/after those times, she could (according to her contract) charge us overtime (she never has, but I've also been very aware of her hours). She's low for our area though (and excellent). Previously, we paid per hour - and it was $5/hour per child - no discount for having more than one - so we were paying $10/hour (which is/was high for our area).

[Qestia]

Well, I live in a major urban area, so not too applicable, but this woman is taking you for a ride! Is it really worth it to you to watch her kids at any price, given the stress on your health and your own kids?

That said, I pay $300/week for DD--whether she's there or not-- and $1250/month for four days a week for DS.

When we use a sitter for dates we pay her $16/hour.

[lyterae]

I pay $25 a day for DD at an in-home daycare. If/when she has a sibling it will be $22.50for each child.

In our area daycares run from $20-$37 a day

[JHopesMomma]

We pay about $25/day for DD (1 yr) in a center, but it's a military Child Development Center, so I think the price is purposefully low (even though DH and I pay in the highest bracket because of our rank). That price covers 50 hours of care a week (we pay even if we don't show up), and all food is included in that as well. I definitely think you should be getting more than $25/day for both kids, a little low, and probably wouldn't even let you break even for things like food, extra craft supplies, cost of outtings (especially when the weather is nicer!) etc. I know it'd be a pretty awkward conversation, but just let her know what you're expecting and why. Hopefully it'll go well, good luck!

[JessieBird]

The range in my area for either in-home or in a centre is $20 - 55 per day per child. Generally you get what you pay for within that range. We pay $1050 per month, which is about $50 per day and definitely on the high side. But for that we get all organic meals prepared fresh daily on site, trilingual programming, lovely facility, Montessori-certified staff and a 3:1 adult:child ratio which is unheard of unless you pay at least that. Just for comparison's sake, caregivers who consider themselves nannies, whether in their home or yours, expect to make about $85-$125 per day for 1-4 children.

It is so geographic though. I mere 12 km away, in Ottawa, Ontario (another city/province but we're just divided by a river) prices are up to double.

[jdg]

In my area (very high COL for the midwest, but still less than most major metropolitan areas) day care centers cost $35-45 per day per child and home day cares cost $20-30 per day per child.

You may want to consider setting a "daily rate" with set hours that come pretty close to her regular work schedule and then an "hourly rate" for anything outside the regular schedule to cover on her long day. And to make sure that she doesn't take advantage by having her hours creep longer and longer over time.

I might also suggest calling Miss K, saying that you are interested in care, and asking how much she charges. At that extremely low rate, I wonder if your friend is being honest with you about what she was paying.

[purplevega]

I know centers in my area charge $50 per child per day day for children over 2. Home based care is a little less around $40 a day per child. I pay $10 per hour to a babysitter for my 2 children and I feel like it is a steal.

Kim

[moobiegirl]

We pay $150 a week for two kids. It's an in-home situation. We wouldn't be able to afford any more than that. I know my place charges $90 a week for one child. I think you're plan sounds good though.

[nola79]

about $30/day here, per child

[~pi]

That is much lower than I would expect. I am in a major urban area, and when DS was in home care (ages 1-2) we paid $50 per day. I think if he had been older it might have been a little less than that, but not THAT much less.

Good luck with the discussion.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I have a friend who does (licensed) in-home daycare. She charges $6.50/hour per child.

[SeekingSerenity]

Wow. I really HAVE been giving her the deal of the century! No wonder she was upset when I presented her with the increase.

She said she could not afford $200 a week. I reminded her that on most weeks, the girls are only there 4 days, and unlike a daycare center I would not charge her the whole week if she wasn't there the whole week. She said she couldn't even afford $160 a week so she would look for someone else.

Well... she knows where I am. If what I've read here is any indication, she's going to have a VERY hard time finding anyone who will give her a better deal. She really, truly expects to find someone to babysit 2 girls full-time for $100 a week (plus a few lunches and all the snacks, not to mention no-extra-cost 13-hour Fridays).

She seemed pretty upset... I would hate to see this ruin our friendship and I have no idea why it would, unless, like a PP mentioned, she really was making up what she paid Miss K and was intentionally taking advantage here. I don't think that's the case, but I try to think the best of people until proven otherwise.

[LynnS6]

$20/day is a great bargain! She'd be getting full time care for 2 kids for about $720. That's less than what we pay for our dd for full time care ($850/month, or about $42/day).

If she truly can't afford $160 a week, does she qualify for any sort of daycare subsidy? Does the Dad pay child support? Raising two kids is expensive (even more so for her because she can't hand down things), and if she's got a low wage job, she may need to look at what other resources are available to her right now.