Help me not lose it on DS w/ADHD!!!

[kittynurse]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

I swear I'm going to lose it. DS1 is nearly 6 and basically still requires pretty much constant supervision or else he trashes the house pretty much. I've been really sick this week and the boys were playing downstairs in the playroom/family room while I rested in our bedroom which is right over top of it. They are safe down there and I can hear if they get into any trouble. So I went downstairs just now and DS1 had gotten down all the Wii games and thrown them all over the floor. He said he was looking for a particular one. Naturally they are scratched and covered in fingerprints. These are expensive games that we are *not* replacing!! Before anyone says to put them up high - they were but he climbs on stuff and uses tools to get whatever he wants from wherever we put it.

In the past we have locked everything up but honestly, it is such a pain in the ass to have to open up the locks every. single. time. you want something. This also led to stuff not getting put away properly and a huge mess. We also can't put things *too* high because I'm barely over 5 feet myself and it is just as much as a pain in the ass to have to climb up to get anything every. single. time. This also leads to stuff not getting put away properly.

What the hell do I do? The Wii games are just one small example of the multitude of things that have been destroyed in our house. We've tried taking things away and he is upset at first but then after a day he forgets and doesn't care anymore. So earning things back isn't an incentive at all. We've tried limiting him to minimal toys but then he just gets bored and trashes our stuff or worse starts picking on his little brother. Plus, taking all the toys away is unfair to his brother - he deserves to have something to play with.

I just feel like there is no way I should have to be supervising an almost 6 year old every minute of the day, ADHD or not. If I do that, when do I get my own stuff done?

This probably makes no sense. Just needed to get it out so I don't take it out on him! He's locked in his room right now for his own safety until I calm down!

[SoCaliMommy]

no real advice

[journeymom]

A highly structured home? I know it doesn't seem 'fair'. And I don't know what, exactly, this structure would look like. But it seems to me that you were on to something when you had stuff locked up. Yes, totally a pain in the behind for you. But maybe a change in perspective would help. It's what he needs. Wii example: get a cabinet with a lock that's lower so you can more easily reach it.

I think what helps most is highly structured time. With clear explanations (and expectations) about what any particular time span is for. 'The half-hour after you get home from school is the time when you can rest and watch TV. Then you do homework for 15 minutes. From 4 to 4:30 you can play the Wii. I'll get the game out. 4:30 the Wii game goes back in the cabinet and it's outside play time.'

The requirement for using the games is that the CDs go immediately back into their boxes, he hands them to you and you put them back in the cabinet, and lock the door. Yes, it's a total pain in the tuckus because it requires you to stop what you're doing and supervise something that seems like it should be so simple: putting a game away. But it's is NOT easy for him to do it, he does not care as much as you do, but he does need to learn to take care of things.

It means more work and supervision from you. But it means less heartache and stress, too. And it ends up being more fair for your younger son, too. The fairness is built into the schedule.

The time when my son and I were in parent-participation preschool together was eye-opening for me. The daily routines, where everyone was kept busy, everyone knew what they were supposed to be doing at any particular time, it was really helpful for kids and parents alike.