Background: my son will be 4 in May. He is an only child. He was a pretty high needs baby who had painful reflux which made him need to be held upright constantly. We don't have any family nearby, and I was a SAHM for his first 2 years. That + his reflux means that only my husband or I took care of him for the first 18 months. And even after that, babysitting was a rare treat that I swapped with another mom.
He's now a delightful preschooler who is really fun to be around (in my totally unbiased opinion). He goes to a home-based preschool/daycare all day Tuesdays and Thursdays, and goes to a co-op preschool Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I work in his preschool class on Mondays.
He has never, ever been interested/able to play or even really be alone, except when he's pooping or watching a TV show. Not that I'm leaving him alone all the time to watch TV, obviously. But Tu/Thur I leave for work before my husband gets a chance to shower, so he turns on the TV for Kiddo to watch while husband showers. In duress, I can convince Kiddo to play with his cars next to the shower while I shower. He is not interested in showering with us. Our house has 2 levels. Unless he is watching TV he is very unwilling to be alone on either level of the house (that is, if he and I are upstairs and I need to go downstairs to get something and bring it right back, he'll drop whatever he's doing to come with me).
Seriously, pooping or watching TV are the only two things he can think of to do when we're not engaging with him. To the point that occasionally, if I'm on the phone and can't engage with him right then, he'll choose to poop even if he wouldn't otherwise need to go then. (Again, not like I'm sitting around jabbering on the phone constantly. This has happened maybe 4 times in the last year.) We have tried having "everyone do your own thing" time where we set the timer for a short time. When I give him suggestions for things to do he's usually not interested. Or he's interested, but wants us to help/do it with him. But my WOHM-guilt does interfere with that one.
How often is too often to have "everyone do your own thing" time, given that I don't see him until 12:30 Wednesdays and Fridays and not until 5p Tuesdays and Thursdays?
He has several friends at preschool and daycare, but he is willing to play alone there sometimes, even when it's my workday at the preschool. He's happy to separate from me at preschool and willing to at daycare, though not exactly thrilled about it. When we have playdates he's perfectly willing to separate from me, and "do you want to come upstairs and see my room?" is often his first question for his friends.
I know it's uncommon for a kid his age to never play alone, but I don't know if this is more than "uncommon" and into "something to look into." I know that different people have different social needs, etc. But I would like him to have the skills to be alone without thinking "Hm...TV or poop?" :-P
He's now a delightful preschooler who is really fun to be around (in my totally unbiased opinion). He goes to a home-based preschool/daycare all day Tuesdays and Thursdays, and goes to a co-op preschool Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I work in his preschool class on Mondays.
He has never, ever been interested/able to play or even really be alone, except when he's pooping or watching a TV show. Not that I'm leaving him alone all the time to watch TV, obviously. But Tu/Thur I leave for work before my husband gets a chance to shower, so he turns on the TV for Kiddo to watch while husband showers. In duress, I can convince Kiddo to play with his cars next to the shower while I shower. He is not interested in showering with us. Our house has 2 levels. Unless he is watching TV he is very unwilling to be alone on either level of the house (that is, if he and I are upstairs and I need to go downstairs to get something and bring it right back, he'll drop whatever he's doing to come with me).
Seriously, pooping or watching TV are the only two things he can think of to do when we're not engaging with him. To the point that occasionally, if I'm on the phone and can't engage with him right then, he'll choose to poop even if he wouldn't otherwise need to go then. (Again, not like I'm sitting around jabbering on the phone constantly. This has happened maybe 4 times in the last year.) We have tried having "everyone do your own thing" time where we set the timer for a short time. When I give him suggestions for things to do he's usually not interested. Or he's interested, but wants us to help/do it with him. But my WOHM-guilt does interfere with that one.
How often is too often to have "everyone do your own thing" time, given that I don't see him until 12:30 Wednesdays and Fridays and not until 5p Tuesdays and Thursdays?
He has several friends at preschool and daycare, but he is willing to play alone there sometimes, even when it's my workday at the preschool. He's happy to separate from me at preschool and willing to at daycare, though not exactly thrilled about it. When we have playdates he's perfectly willing to separate from me, and "do you want to come upstairs and see my room?" is often his first question for his friends.
I know it's uncommon for a kid his age to never play alone, but I don't know if this is more than "uncommon" and into "something to look into." I know that different people have different social needs, etc. But I would like him to have the skills to be alone without thinking "Hm...TV or poop?" :-P
