early potty learning help?

[NicaG]

I seem to remember hearing that in Europe toddlers are potty trained around 18 months. Does anyone have any suggestions or resources for training a child this young? My dd is showing a lot of interest in the potty, she has words for potty and pee, and she's very proud that she can pee if I ask her to. If she's showing interest, I'd love to encourage her! But it seems like American resources always assume your child is closer to 3 when you start. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

[iris777888]

I say take advantage of it! Kids have different motivations and timeframes and maybe yours will be one that is ready to go now. Our DS started showing interest and telling us when he had just wet around 14/15 months. We turned to late start elimination communication techniques instead of potty training resources. There is a Yahoo! group for this purpose, many of the EC books have late start chapters, and there are several sites with tips for late starters.

We started out by having him try first thing when waking, which was a time when we knew he had to go so was likely to be successful. We generally communicated with him about it, with some enthusiasm (but not praise really) when he did go and no upset if he didn't. We let him lead, tried not to push him to sit if he didn't want to and used techniques like letting him play with toys, read books to him, etc. to get him to sit longer. If he told us he just went, we usually sat him on the potty before getting him a new diaper. Sometimes he'd go more, and eventually he got to the point where he might pee a little in his diaper, then finish on the toilet.

Later on we suggested it was time to go pee at strategic times when it seemed likely he'd have to go, if it had been awhile, 15 mins or so after drinking a lot, etc. and also when it was clear he was trying to poop. Just before two, he refused to wear his diaper at night anymore. Since he was usually dry all night, we went with it and had very few accidents. By the time he was two, he was pretty much dry all day and night both as long as we took him regularly. At just turned three, we're still working on getting him to tell people when he needs to go or else just taking himself, but having him out of diapers for the past year has been wonderful. I'd rather wash a few wet pants and underwear here and there rather than a load of diapers every day!

I think the most important thing is to talk to them about it the whole time, and not get upset if they have misses or don't want to go. Just say pee goes in the potty, or similar and clean up. Don't make it be a power struggle and follow her lead on when to move on to each next step. If either of you are getting frustrated, back off.

Good luck!

[butterfly_mommy]

I just finished reading Diaper-free before 3 Which is great and has lots of history of toilet learning. It is very EC friendly and offers great critique of the medical communities advice of toilet learning.

I read the book 2 weeks ago and decided to implement the method described and take my DS (25 mons) out of diapers during the day right away and put him in underwear and within 4 days he was able to teach himself to control his bladder. We have just had 2 days of no accidents and he is starting to tell me when he has to poo. I implement sitting on the potty as part of our routine now and watch him for pee/poo cues. He has been doing all his poos in the potty for the past week (incl putting himself on the potty when pantless while I was putting laundry in ) Oh and this was a child who was showing pretty much no "signs of readiness" I am actually quite amazed!

[justmama]

i don't know if this is considered early but it is early for my kids. my youngest potty learned 3 weeks ago and she's now 26months. she did it herself really. i just assisted her. took her out of diapers and let her run naked. she cried everytime she had an accident(was not due to scolding, she seemed disappointed in herself. i didn't even comment on accidents) and did this when she made it in time. just needed some assistance remembering when she got really involved in playing. but she's wearing underwear all day long now and staying dry and letting us know when she needs to go. nighttime she still needs diapers but she's able to stay dry at naptime.

[intunement]

Ec

Check out the Elimination Communication community on Mothering.com. Babies are born with a desire to eliminate away from their bodies - just like ALL animals prefer. We train them to use diapers for our own convenience. Then we have to train them out of diapers. Half of the world's population is potty trained by a year old. In developed countries, the norm used to be 18 months to 2 years, until disposable diapers were introduced about 50 years ago. Since then, the age of potty learning has gotten pushed back to 3 or even 4 years old. The diaper companies have conveniently backed much of the information and research that has influenced popular beliefs about potty learning in the US - the idea that children must first be able to completely dress and undress themselves, that they must lead the way, etc. We don't wait until kids can cook their own food before we let them eat solids. Those assumptions only benefit the diaper companies and lazy parents who would rather let their children soak in their own waist a few extra years rather than teaching them to use the potty. Much of the developing world (places such as China) think we are disgusting for doing that to our children and to the environment (filling up landfills with diapers for generations to come).

You are right to assume that your daughter is ready, especially if she is showing interest. Get a little potty and make using it fun. Celebrate with her when she does use it, and explain to her how you use the toilet. You might even skip the potty and just get a step and an insert to use on the big toilet. Talk with her as much as possible about it so that she understands. Switch to using cloth diapers, or cloth pull ups, or just plain underwear, or let her go bare bottom under a dress. Make it easy for her to undress to use the potty. Without a disposable diaper on, she will be able to start to tell when she urinates, and she will find it uncomfortable to pee on herself. She'll gladly use the toilet or potty. You can also go the route of giving stickers or special use of a toy, but it might not be necessary to use a bribe since she will find the benefit inherent in using a toilet (not being wet).

[RubyOrganique]

I'm told that when I was a baby, kids were trained by 18 months so I think it's a modern day (read disposable diaper/trainer companies) notion that later is always better. Definitely check out the EC board. We did EC from about 4 weeks, but had 4 months or so after she began walking and we did a cross country move that we were almost 100% cloth diapered. I switched to trainers and underwear a couple months ago, let her watch Once Upon a Potty video and read a PL book and now at 20 months, she is about 85% caught and 15% missed - this includes nights. Some of it is really watching for signals and assisting her, occasionally she will ask or take off for the bathroom when she has to go. She really digs getting to empty the plastic potty into the toilet (which takes some guidance to avoid spills...) It gets more consistent each day and I find the more I let go, the more success we have. I'm proud to say we caught more poos than not this week which is a great step forward!

Good luck and definitely go with your instinct. If there is interest, nurture it and see what happens.

[hakeber]

I was gonna say, check out the Elimination Communication sub-forum of diapering (in NFL). There are a lot of great resources, and suggestions for potty learning early, and learning your babe's cues and stuff. there are also some good suggestions for potty's for little folks.

This is a good site for EC gear: http://theecstore.com/

and this: http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/

and this: http://www.tribalbaby.org/ECindex.html

are good sites to read, too.

Good luck. We have been ECing DD by day since we came home from the hospital. I catch 80% of the pees and almost all the poops while she is awake. Sleeping not so much, but since she is two months old and sleeps for six to eight hours straight, I can live with it for now. Her diapers now are usually VERY slightly damp when she wakes up to feed, sometimes even dry.

I know it is probably all in my head and I am afraid to say it out loud because I am sure people will think I am s but I swear she is really communicative to me...I can't be sure but the last two times she had to go today she started kicking and grimacing which is her usual cue and then she cooed: "pah ehhh" which sounded pretty close to potty to me, but she's only two months old, so I am sure that's just a coincidence...right?

Anyway, it really is so cute the look on her face when she "tells" me and I take her and she goes in the potty and not in her pants and then has to cry to be changed. She's thoroughly chuffed with herself! And so am I.

I think it really brings kids closer to their guardians.

FWIW, we didn't EC ds and he started showing an interest in potty learning around 19 or 20 months. He just asked to try it one day and then again and again and it was getting really warm so we let him run around with a bare bum most of the summer, and within a few months he was down to about 1 accident a month, it went up when heavy clothes came back on, but still only a few times a month.

Nights took longer. He was almost FOUR before he got off diapers/trainers at night. But that was mostly laziness on dh and my part.

[majormajor]

both of mine potty-learned around 18 months (older DD a little earlier, younger a little later). the best description of what we did is late start EC. basically, i just figured out their pee rhythm and put them on when i thought they might have to go or if they indicated they might have to go. it takes longer starting early, but it becomes just part of their life, so there is no real "training." sometimes they pee on the potty, sometimes in a diaper or trainer (sometimes in the floor if you're a big fan of nakey-butt time like we are!).

with my older DD, it was like a switch flipped on day and she was 100% day-trained. with my younger, i suddenly realized that she hadn't peed in a diaper in months (i put her in diapers out of the house and trainers or underwear at home), so i can't even say a precise age that she learned... it just dawned on me that i might as well be putting her in underwear.

with both my girls, i started at about 12 months.

definitely check out late-start EC resources. we used disposable diapers for out of the house and overnight, so it's a real relief to know i'm done putting those in landfills.

[brennan]

We are what I call "early introducing" the potty. We talk about it, I show dd when I pee what I'm doing, when she pees I say "oh you peed" or "look you're peeing" and same for poop. Since she was about 14 months old she's been peeing first thing in the morning in her little potty. We are a Montessori family and its actually recommend that we switch to underwear around 18 months during the day. Also to use a little potty rather than a big potty. We plan on doing this and offering her the potty at streagic times through the day. I'm really lucky in that dd's the perfect age so it will be warm enough that she can run around naked/in underwear without getting cold when she's 18 months. Apparently, a lot of kids show intrest between 14 months and 24 months, but we have been told that kids don't potty train until AT LEAST 2, more likely 3 that we just ignore it, and it can make it more difficult to train later (not saying that it always does).

I have to add though, there is NO pressure. If she says no, she doesn't go on the potty. If she doesn't go while on the potty that's fine too. She sometimes asks to sit on the potty, especially when I'm using it, and I try to encourage it, but we don't get mad if she misses. Oh and we use the ASL sign for toilet, as she has very few words (she does say poop though, so I know when that's about to happen). Roll with it! If your lo wants to use the potty go with the flow! You'll probably have more accidents then those who wait, but I'd rather dd be out of diapers sooner than later. Oh and I was pl at 18 months, I think it was more common when most were still using cloth diapers.

Good luck!

[allisonrose]

Many mamas here at MDC talk about a window for PLing around 18 months. If your daughter is communicating and interested in peeing when requested, I say give it a go. I happened across Early-start Potty Training at my library which has strategies for basically every age. It's an okay book although a big part of it is devoted to convincing you of the advantages and ability of babies to PL early/EC. I don't know if I'd buy it but maybe your library has a copy too...

There is also a 3 day method designed for little ones: here.

[spirit4ever]

subbing......... busy now but want to reply

[Baby_Cakes]

[redpajama]

My two oldest (now 3 and 5) kids potty-trained relatively early. My son was ~22 months, and my daughter was ~19-20.

It happened differently with each of them, but basically, once they were communicating well enough to tell us when they needed to go and started showing interest, we ran with it.

With my son, we basically told him one morning, "Look, you get to wear these undies now, and when you need to pee or poop, you can do it in the potty." Then we put him in undies, prompted him to use the potty often, and stuck to it. It took about 3 days before he was peeing in the potty every time, but closer to 3 weeks before he would poop in the potty. We didn't get upset when he had accidents, but just cleaned them up and put him in new undies. Once we switched to undies, though, we never went back to diapers.

We did the same thing with my daughter, at 19-20 months. She actually asked for the potty the first time and then pooped on it, and never wore diapers again. With her, it was the opposite--once she pooped that one time in the potty, she pretty much never pooped anywhere else again, but it was closer to two weeks before she was reliably peeing in the potty every time, and she still continued to have occasional accidents for much longer than her older brother did.

I have a seven-month-old now, and I plan to potty train her in roughly the same time frame. I really believe most children can be potty trained at that age and, although it's probably a little more work to train a 1.5-2-year-old than to train, say, a 3-or-4-year-old, it is so much easier in the *long run*--not to mention the impact on the environment of not spending that extra year-or-three in diapers--that it's well worth it, in my opinion.

For us, the big things are consistency and patience. I think you have to be able to stick to the underwear thing without getting up tight about dealing with a lot of accidents/messes in the first few days. With my son, I planned to potty train during a weekend when my husband would be home for an extra day, so that my son could have lots of attention despite having a 5-week-old sister at the time who also required a lot of time and attention. With my daughter, she initiated the timing, but I tried to clear the next few days for her once we decided to do it then, so we could stay home and near a potty while she learned.

(Also, for my son, he did best in just undies and a t-shirt, but my daughter did better with a skirt with no undies underneath.)

Good luck!

[CaliforniaMommy]

@redpajamas:
What did you do at night? Were they dry at night right away, or did you have to put diapers on them for a while? Or did they go without but had the occasional accident at night?

Thanks.

[spirit4ever]

I just potty trained my dd, she turns 20 months in a few days! Just as she turned 19 months she started to show interest in the toilet, she would sit on it (i have small potty seats that sit on the toilet from my older boys) and actually pee, I got really excited. So for a few days when she got up in the morning and when she before going to bed at night she would ask to sit on the toilet...

within a week i took out our potty's, all training undies and took away the diapers (except for nap and night!). At first i sat her on the potty every 20 min, it didn't take her long to learn to hold her bladder then release it on the potty.

Now at almost 20months she is in undies at home, training undies when we go to a friends house or playgroup and waterproof training undies (both by bummis and kushies) if we are going to the store or somewhere where i'd worry about pee getting on furniture! (i bought a dora folding toilet seat to keep with me for when we're out and about, and some antibacterial wipes for after we use it on an unknown toilet!!! )

On a good day she has no accidents, and now tells me when she has to pee about 1/4 of the time, the rest she just hold and releases when i get her on the potty, which i do about every 45 min or so! I know eventually over time this will gradually increase!

THe second i decide to start to train them (ds1 was closer to 3 but didn't know to try earlier, ds2 was 25months and now dd 19-20months) i don't use diapers at all, ever, except for sleeping. I don't mind the few accidents.

So if she's showing interest, I say go for it!!!!!!!!!

I do make it fun of course, i keep a basket of books beside the potty and toilet, i sing songs and read stories, now she know as soon as she pees, she jumps up and yells yeah

[anechka]

Originally Posted by NicaG

I seem to remember hearing that in Europe toddlers are potty trained around 18 months. Does anyone have any suggestions or resources for training a child this young? My dd is showing a lot of interest in the potty, she has words for potty and pee, and she's very proud that she can pee if I ask her to. If she's showing interest, I'd love to encourage her! But it seems like American resources always assume your child is closer to 3 when you start. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

I am from Russia and we teach kids how to use potty pretty early. All my friends' kids from Russia were fully trained by 18-20 months. I began putting my dd on potty when she was 12 month and she is fully potty trained now at 18 months. The key is to put children in cotton underwear and took them to the potty regaularly; in the beginning every 30 minutes or so. Also, try not to make any major production out of it; just say we need to go potty and put her on it. Repetition and consistency work the best.

[starling&diesel]

Interesting thread ... thanks!
My DD is 14 months. She knows what pee and poo are and knows when she does either. We decided to take out the potty, sit it beside the toilet and model for her, and wouldn't you know it, she went pee in the potty! This was just a few days ago, so we're very early in our process, but we're excited to get things going.
Before each diaper change, I invite her to sit on the potty. She sometimes pees, sometimes not. She's 'tried' to poo in the potty (grunted, pulled her tummy in) but hasn't yet. She likes to stand up/sit down repeatedly.
We don't make any remarks at all if she doesn't eliminate in the potty, but we get super excited with her when she does go.
I expect we'll be doing things this way for a while, with the super low key, no pressure approach. We'll be travelling for a couple of weeks in May, so might be back at square one when we get home after that.