Count me in. I think my biggest issue right now is my seriously screwed up 'why bother' attitude. Between being an introvert, moving frequently for years and years, and getting burnt by people (friends and family) I'm just not into putting forth the time nor energy when it isn't going to last or work out anyway.
At times my life has been ridiculously soap eraish sounding, though it really hasn't been dramatic or anything. My dad disappeared for a few years, then came back, my brother disowned me because he didn't approve of my dp, a cousin attempted to blackmail me over somewhat in my past he thought my dp didn't know (he did know).
I also often do too much for people and end up feeling burnt out, but I've gotten better at this too. My last neighbor actually helped me out with this because I was eventually able to set up boundaries with her that I felt comfortable with while still maintaining myself with her socially. Unfortunately I still have no contact with my brother, though we have spoken briefly at funerals over the years. My mother says he is over it. I just don't see a relationship bouncing back from that, but who knows? Its been a good dozen years ago. And I still feel awkward around my father, even though he has recently made efforts to have a relationship, visiting my home, calling, he even asked me to go to the movies with him (*awk*
ward, um, no).
I have one very dear friend who lives in a different country who I see once or twice a year and message on the computer pretty often. She's great and I'm glad she still puts up with me and my weirdness and baggage
I do need to 'get over it' though. People can be really great and awesome and I know I'm missing out on growth and good stuff. Life is just so up and down, wonderful and terrible, yk? I guess I just find it easier to limit myself dedicating time and energy to those who are closest to me and in my life consistently. That said I do make a great effort to be friendly and accept small talk casually because it does NOT come naturally to me. I have also been told people thought I was stuck up until they got to know me. I'm so not stuck up. I think I've made great strides with that. Sometimes I think I have some sort of attachment disorder or something.
I'm too afraid of getting hurt and pretty much just feel it will end eventually anyway. Oh and I'm pretty sure my being 'weird' holds me back some as well, lol.