I NEED her to go to this program

[Peony]

This morning was an utter failure, DD2 attempted to go to a Mom's Day Out program run at DD1's school. the program is great, I've know the teacher for over 5 years now, DD1 briefly attended an awesome pre-school on her farm, she is wonderful. It is for 4 hours one day a week. DD2 is 3.5 years old leaves me for gymnastics, dance, and she goes with our sitter. She wasn't fond of our sitter and it took months of working up to her actually going with her. She was SOO excited about going to "school" at big sister's school, we talked about it, planned. I think my fatal error this morning was that she insisted on going in with DH (he drops DD1 off at school 3 days a week) and then I pick her up. I should of gone in as well, and was planning on it but then the baby was up all night with a stuffy nose and he was still sleeping when it was time to go.

She did fine but then DD1 popped in to say hi to her before going off to her therapy session and then when DD1 left, DD2 melted and I got called to come get her. When DD1 didn't want to go to something, no big deal, she didn't have to. I am working part time now, mostly from home, and studying for a board exam this summer, I really, really need these 4 hours of only having one child in the house to actually get something done. While I like our sitter, and yes she could come over, it is WAY more expensive and DD2 doesn't have fun with her, she just tolerates her until I return. I save the sitter for when I have to go into the office for meetings. DD2 is saying she hates school and does not want to go back. Ok, but she needs to go. Now instead of playing with other kids, she is sitting here while I am nursing DS to sleep and then she will watch a movie so I can work. Which was the whole reason I enrolled her so that she didn't have to watch a movie on Friday mornings so I could work.

They really didn't want her to come back to the program since she melted today. I have to call the teacher later but I think she will let me try one more time before calling it quits for good. I plan on actually dropping her off myself next time, any other tips? I only did pre-school with DD1 for those 5 weeks, she was older, and then we moved, and we homeschooled until this year so this whole thing is different to me.

[momtoS]

I think it is unreasonable of the program to say they didn't want her back because she had a meltdown today. Could you try again for maybe half the time? Could you let her bring something small from home?

[alegna]

Can you try a slower transition for her? Like you go with her the first day, then you come at lunch the second day (or in the middle, don't know if she's there for lunch...) then you come an hour early the third.... like that?

Sound like it was just too much all at once for her, especially with the sister reminder.

Transitioning would be a pain and take away some work time, but if it worked out it would make life easier in the end.

good luck!

-Angela

[Peony]

There were a few reasons they didn't want her back, the teacher didn't think she would be thrilled to come back next week, and doesn't want to push it. She didn't want DD2 to negative feelings about coming there. If this was the regular pre-school program then things would be different and they would work with me but this isn't. And it was disruptive to half of the school to have a 3y in the hallway screaming. This is a tiny little school that goes from pre-school to 8th grade, less then 85 students for all the grades. Half the grades are in one building, half are in another so literally half the school had to listen to a 3 year screaming at the top of her lungs. One of the moms went and pulled DD1 out of class, not knowing she was supposed to be in therapy (going to have to call and explain to her therapist today, oops) to come be with DD2 until I could get there. DH was 8 minutes away and the plan was he was going to pick her up if she got sad but when I called him, he said he couldn't leave the office. It took me about 25 minutes to get there due to a road detour.


Sigh, I knew I should of been there, but was too hopeful. She loves that room and I can never get her out of there when she is allowed to go in. We were just in there Wed after school and she told me to leave and pick her up later.

Next week, I'll try Angela's suggestion, and then instruct DD1 not to go say hi to her sister. I told her to stop by AFTER therapy during her recess to say hi, because I thought DD2 would like seeing her sister, but apparently not!

[CarrieMF]

Was this her first day doing this?

How was she BEFORE DD1 stepped in to say hi?

[Peony]

First day. She was fine before DD1 came in, Dh had left 45 minutes before. The teacher said that she had been happily playing prior to DD1 coming in.

[CarrieMF]

then I'd try it again and make sure DD1 knows to not go in. I'm surprised that the people running the program would say to not bring her back after ONE time of her being upset.

[bobandjess99]

I realize this is like.....the worst thing I could possibly say here at MDC.....but a few hours of TV won't kill her. My kids watch TV so I can work from home. If that's the worst thing I can be accused of as a mom, I think I'm doing pretty good. *shrug*

[alegna]

Signing time anyone?

-Angela

[Peony]

I totally agree and she does on more days then that one. I was just hoping that for that day she could have fun instead of sitting here and it is never her blindly staring at the screen while I am productive, it is, "Mama, I need a snack." "Mama, that one is over." "Mama, I need to poop." "Mama, I need another snack.".

[Grace and Granola]

Next week, can you go through the regular routine of dropping your older dd off and see how dd2 reacts at the school? See if she wants to hang around that room like she used to. She might give you the best indication if it will work. If you can talk about it ahead of time and just say something like: Will you go with me to drop off big sister? Let's stop by (her classroom) and see which kids are there and if there are any toys you'd like to play with. If you want, you could stay and play awhile until I come back.

Maybe she'll be all for dipping her toes back in the water if you pose it as more of a "let's see what you think" type of choice.

My ds has been in preschool for two years now and he always goes through a couple weeks where he hates school and doesn't want to go back. He might even shuffle his feet and cry a bit going down the hall, but I always just say, let's go see....I hang around for 10 minutes until he starts engaging in something and then I'm able to leave. He always does fine and says it was great afterwards.

Good luck!

[K1329]

It sounds like you have alot on your plate and need the time.

I've read, and also heard from pre-school teachers, that it's really difficult for 2 and 3 yos to go to school only once or twice a week. What about enrolling her in the preschool program? Dd went at 3 and enjoyed it so much that I ended up wishing I had started her earlier. With ds I started him in a mornings only program at 2 and he loves it, too, just like his big sis did. He's now 3 and always talks about the fun he has at school. Just a thought, anyway.

[indie]

DD1 showing up was probably the tragic mistake. I know from experience that there have been times in my kids lives when they did absolutely fine in care until they saw me or their siblings.

Also, someone mentioned the one day problem. Our MDO changed to a minimum of two days because they felt that the lack of consistency was a problem for some of the younger kids (umm, mine included ).