10 month old twins sleep help! x-post

[esteg0]

My BFF has 10 month old girl twins. She called me this morning for support and I thought I'd ask you wonderful ladies for help!

Here's the situation:
Daughter A goes to sleep at 11 and gets up at 11. She STTN and sleeps in the crib in my friend's room. She would love to get her to go down earlier but is struggling. She usually wakes like she was down for a nap if she goes down before 11. They had to move her to her own crib recently because baby B wakes her up.

Daughter B is the main issue. From the beginning she has stayed awake even later then A so she could have alone time with her parents. Well, it has gotten out of hand. She now won't go to sleep until 2am! My friend and her DH are exhausted! She will go to sleep at 11 like her sister, in her crib, but she wakes 30 minuted later and is WIDE awake and ready to hang out with mommy and daddy. They always bring her in to bed and try to get her back to sleep but she want to play. They finally get her down at 2 and then they both have to get up at 6:30. He's falling asleep while driving, she is slurring her speech and forgetting simple words. She's stressed about her performance at work too.

They really are opposed to CIO but of course are hearing it from everyone as the cure-all for their problems. I reminded her it could back fire and make her an even worse sleeper. I recommended trying to start bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier but am at a loss for other recommendations. (my kid goes to sleep at the same time every night, his choice, but still wakes 2-5 times a night so I'm no help!)

I would love some advice from BTDT moms!

[Shuli]

They should stop bringing baby B into their bed. She is being rewarded for waking up. One of them should sit next to her crib for support, but not take her out. She'll learn pretty quickly that there is no use getting up because play time is over. When she cries they should comfort her and stay with her, but that is it.

I stopped taking the kids into bed with me to nurse in the middle of the night when I realized that they were waking up to come into our bed, not to nurse. I moved the nursing into their room and the waking stopped unless they actually needed to nurse.

That's my two cents. Hope things get better.

[esteg0]

Thank you!

Anyone else?

[sept2008twingirls]

My girls also had TERRIBLE nights going to sleep. I remember when Twin A used to sleep at 5 am sometimes and then would sleep til noon. She would do the same thing as your friend's baby. Take a nap about 9 and then wake up wide awake for HOURS! Twin B was also a late sleeper, though slept better.

Looking back (my girls are 18 months now and at least sleep at the "right" time, though are still waking up constantly at night, at least they go back to sleep), I think I would have started waking them up during the day more. It's hard with twins, because it's so overwhelming to have them that you just let them sleep. I used to think, "at least they are getting their sleep", but she's not getting any (just like we weren't), so see if she can wake them up more during the day and see if that helps them to be more tired at night.

I just traveled to India with my 3 kids (3 years and twins 1 1/2) and they had the worst jet lag you could ever imagine, but in some ways that's probably what these twins are doing...sleeping in the day and waking up at night. When I was in India I just kept letting the kids sleep when they wanted. Well, they slept at 11pm and then were up at night from 2am-6am. Then slept during the day from 2pm-7pm. On the way back I woke everyone up during the "times" they should be awake, even though they were tired. They got back on schedule almost the first day.

So, ask your friend what hours they are sleeping. Have her keep a log. In the No Cry Sleep Solution book it talks about how much sleep a baby should be getting and gives a log for her to figure out how much time a day they are sleeping. This might help her to adjust their sleeping times.

Hope that helps. I never tried waking them when they were babies, now I wished I had, so that's why I thought I'd offer this advice. If it doesn't work, tell her that "This too shall pass", what my friends always used to tell me. My girls finally outgrew their strange sleeping pattern. It just took time.

Let me know how it goes.
Sarah

[tngirl11]

It actually sounds to me like they aren't getting enough sleep during the day. I definitely had a hard time with my twins and trying to coordinate their sleeping habits, but it was actually my younger DS that was the worst sleeper. At a few months old he was just not sleeping at night at all, and it was awful (since I had 2-year-old twins keeping me running all day!) After reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, I decided to try (very skeptically, mind you) giving him more naps during the day, putting him to bed as soon as he looked at all sleepy. Well, I swear he would only be up for an hour at a time during the day before he went back to bed for a nap, and once he started getting all that extra sleep during the day, he started sleeping at night too. It seems counterproductive, but the more well-rested they are, the better they sleep. Even now at age four, if my DS goes to bed late it's pretty much guaranteed that he will wake up early. Strange, but true.
If your friend hasn't read HSHHC, I would highly recommend it. It was a lifesaver for me, and I definitely wish I had read it when my twins were babies!

[esteg0]

Thanks you guys! I know she has a tough road ahead of her but maybe your suggestions will help!