Where are the breastfeeders?

[jessafina]

I asked the question tonight while out to dinner with my sister our dad our husbands and babies. I was breastfeeding my son at the table, because I breastfeed him anywhere. Anywhere. I'm discrete, but I don't wear any sort of a cover over us. I just can't believe that I literally have never seen anyone breastfeeding in public like I do. I know that lots of you bfing mamas have asked the same question... I just continue to be perplexed.

[momoftworedheads]

I feel the same way. I nurse my son everywhere and I never see other mamas nursing their babies. I know my one friend will not NIP at all ever.

Take care!

[FREEmom1120]

I just started feeling comfortable NIPing when dd2 was around 5 months or so. I did not nurse dd1 very long, so everything breastfeeding has essentially been new for me.

Now I am so thankful that I just went for it and nursed her uncovered. It's so easy. I was not sure I would ever be comfortable with it, but now I love the opportunity to NIP.

I was walking out of a restaurant tonight a lady was walking in nursing her baby in her ring sling.

[annekh23]

How often do you see babies bottlefed in public?

It's true that you don't often see a lot of breastfeeding in public, but then how often do you see bottlefeeding? I see bottles, but poking out of diaper bags, or in cup holders, I see older babies with bottles, but it doesn't feel like there are loads of women all over the place bottlefeeding and all the breastfeeding women are hiding.

I really only see infants being fed at places where I'd expect to see lots of infants and it's not unusual, even in a biggish, busy restaurant to just not see another infant, or to just see one asleep, so it's not all that surprising you don't see them getting fed regardless of the method.

I haven't seen a woman breastfeeding at gymnastics, we've been going there for 3 years, I've spent hours sat there, I've not seen anyone breastfeeding, but I haven't seen anyone bottlefeeding either.

I generally only see babies being fed when I'm at places where there would be a lot of babies and we'd be there for a longer length of time, so I see babies getting fed at church, but on a week to week basis, that is the only place I routinely see babies being fed and I'm not a hermit, it's just that most of the time we see people in public, we're all busy doing something.

Sure, some women do keep breastfeeding private, but I think a lot more of what you're seeing isn't really down to that, more general practicalities of baby feeding.

[jessafina]

you may have a point, although I do see the bottles being used. And even if they're not, they are there in case their baby gets hungry. Please understand, this isn't a judgement--- for all I know the bottles I see are full of breastmilk, and even if they're not, to each her own. But I believe that many woman bottlefeed in public because breasfeeding often isn't done openly. Again, I virtually never see it unless I'm wtih my girlfriends who breasfeed. Could just be where I live.

[claddaghmom]

Maybe it's the setting! We like to go to nicer restaurants in the evenings...I mean, how many kids are there at all? lol

Whenever I go to a festival or zoo or someplace similar, I do see a lot more babies. But of those who are nursed, they are typically covered with a blanket or apron hooter hider thingie. I just prefer to think it's due to the crappy weather. I remember using a hooter hider b/c DD was born in November. I even dug it out of the back up bag in the car when she was 11 months old and used it as an extra blanket when we went to a farm.

[jessafina]

Probably the setting. I definitely used a hooter hider in the beginning (which actually makes it MORE obvious that youre bfing, but at the same time is so helpful when you and your baby are figuring out how to nurse and you've got milk spraying everywhere!)
And I know that a lot of woman just will never be comfortable whipping their boob out in public, which is totally understable. Maybe I just hope that by leading by example, if there are any women out there who want to nip but may be on the fence about it will go " hey... I could do that, too!"

[proudmomof4]

Originally Posted by jessafina

(...)
And I know that a lot of woman just will never be comfortable whipping their boob out in public, which is totally understable. Maybe I just hope that by leading by example, if there are any women out there who want to nip but may be on the fence about it will go " hey... I could do that, too!"

No offense meant but I really cringed at your choice of words here.
BF your baby with or without "audience" has nothing to do with "whipping out one's boob". I've heard this expression used a few times too often, followed by "a little modesty goes a long way" or some other patronizing crap.

[hakeber]

I have not really seen people NIP here, either. I have only had dd out and about twice so far where she was hungry, once I nursed her in the sling as we walked through town, but no one would have been able to tell she was nursing. They probably thought she was sleeping.

The other time we were at a birthday party at one of these kid's play spaces and I was the only mom BFing, the other 2 infants there was't hungry I guess. I don't think anyone thought anything of it, but dd is still quite small. I have seen moms who nurse their toddlers here and people are definitely shocked here. I think ( I don't know) based on the conversations I have had here, that nursing beyond a year is very unusual.

When I BF and I am not wearing a nursing top, I usually use a burp cloth across any exposed breast flesh. They are pretty conservative here. The only uncovered NIPing I've seen is from other foreigners. As long as babies are being fed when they need it, as long as a mom isn't feeling like she has to let her baby cry for modesty's sake, I have no qualms.

[annettemarie]

Movng out to the general breastfeeding forum.

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by proudmomof4

No offense meant but I really cringed at your choice of words here.
BF your baby with or without "audience" has nothing to do with "whipping out one's boob". I've heard this expression used a few times too often, followed by "a little modesty goes a long way" or some other patronizing crap.

I always use whipping out the boob! And I don't think you can make an inherently non-sexual practice "modest" just as nursing is never "obscene."



I'd say it must be my southern comin' through but I hail from cali!

[Mulvah]

I don't NIP. Well, I did once, but I don't like it. I think it is great others do, but it isn't for me.

[Red Pajama]

I've given plenty of people a chance to see me.

Every now and again, I'll notice someone else nursing in public. It always makes me happy to see it. Thursday at the children's museum I saw someone in a quiet corner with a baby nursing, so I'm not the only one NIP around here. Although quite honestly, I'm running out of opportunities, as she rarely nurses in public anymore.

[SilverFish]

well, to be honest, i don't breastfeed in public (yet, i guess) because my baby is still very young and breastfeeding is often quite a production. there is milk dripping, there are latchings and relatchings, there are pinched and scratched nipples, there is often a crying infant AND a frustrated mommy before we get settled down. not every time, obviously, but it's more than i feel up for trying to accomplish at the restaurant or coffee shop at this moment in time. i have fed her in a changing room, not out of modesty or any such thing, but because it was nice to have the space and relatively comfortable and private surroundings of a nice store's changing rooms. my alternative was the food court, and despite my strong feelings that feeding babies is the admirable purpose of my breasts right now, they are still not a body part that i am accustomed to expose in public. it's not surprising if people feel a little unsure about it.

also, when you think about it, the period during which babies and moms have a comfortable breastfeeding relationship AND babies need to eat every couple of hours, is actually quite small. most moms probably aren't spending long periods of time out of the house with their babies before 1 or 2 months, and babies older than 5 or 6 months are eating solids, and maybe only breastfeeding every few hours. that's only a period of 3-5 months that an infant would really need to eat during an outing. so even if there are lots of children around you that might be breastfeeding, only a small percentage of them probably need to be fed during the amount of time that they are out.

[Faliciagayle]

Babies don't need to eat solids at 6 months. Here is some great information.

[nerdymom]

On the "whipping a boob out" rabbit trail, I use that phrase all the time. I never thought of it as crude, just funny.

I see a lot of moms NIP, though like pp said, only where I'd expect to see moms and infants. I rarely see anyone nursing a toddler. (Actually, I've only ever seen a toddler nursed at my BWing group, which was a great device for meeting crunchy mamas in my neck of the woods.) I've had a lot of conservative people offer me blankets and etc to use as a cover and honestly I just say thank you and place it on my lap or use it to cuddle around DS. I've never had anyone ask me to cover up though. I'm the only one at my church that nurses uncovered but there are a ton of moms there who do NIP, they just prefer a cover, so most people assume I do too, but don't have one with me.

Originally Posted by SilverFish

...also, when you think about it, the period during which babies and moms have a comfortable breastfeeding relationship AND babies need to eat every couple of hours, is actually quite small. most moms probably aren't spending long periods of time out of the house with their babies before 1 or 2 months, and babies older than 5 or 6 months are eating solids, and maybe only breastfeeding every few hours. that's only a period of 3-5 months that an infant would really need to eat during an outing. so even if there are lots of children around you that might be breastfeeding, only a small percentage of them probably need to be fed during the amount of time that they are out.

While I accept that your conclusion is very logical, and is probably the norm for many moms out there, don't be surprised if your child needs to nurse every hour while you're out, even when he's old enough to eat solids. I know DS, at 16 months, wants to nurse MORE often than normal in some settings b/c he needs that reassurance.

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by SilverFish

also, when you think about it, the period during which babies and moms have a comfortable breastfeeding relationship AND babies need to eat every couple of hours, is actually quite small. most moms probably aren't spending long periods of time out of the house with their babies before 1 or 2 months, and babies older than 5 or 6 months are eating solids, and maybe only breastfeeding every few hours. that's only a period of 3-5 months that an infant would really need to eat during an outing. so even if there are lots of children around you that might be breastfeeding, only a small percentage of them probably need to be fed during the amount of time that they are out.

I don't think that scenario is true for most babies at all.

I spent plenty of time out of the house when my babies were new. And my 10.5mo still isn't eating enough solids to constitute a meal, and we go on lots of all-day outings, so even if she did have 1 solids meal, I'd still need to nurse her while we were out.

And yet, I don't nurse in public. I would love to. But Peepers is very distractible and picky about where she will nurse. At Disneyland a few weeks ago, she wouldn't even nurse in the quiet nursing room - I had to go to the First Aid station and lie down on a cot with her to get her to eat!

[SilverFish]

Originally Posted by Faliciagayle

Babies don't need to eat solids at 6 months. Here is some great information.

yes i know that, but regardless, many infants ARE taking solids at 6 months.

Originally Posted by nerdymom

While I accept that your conclusion is very logical, and is probably the norm for many moms out there, don't be surprised if your child needs to nurse every hour while you're out, even when he's old enough to eat solids. I know DS, at 16 months, wants to nurse MORE often than normal in some settings b/c he needs that reassurance.

i feed on demand, and intend to do so as long as we are breastfeeding, so if we are out and she wants to nurse, i will. but considering how few babies are breastfed over 12 months, it's not surprising that you don't see many of them NIPing. even my one month old sleeps so heavily in her moby wrap that the longest time we've been out in public (5 hours) only required one nursing session. we're usually only out for 1-3 hours though.

[jessafina]

Originally Posted by proudmomof4

No offense meant but I really cringed at your choice of words here.
BF your baby with or without "audience" has nothing to do with "whipping out one's boob". I've heard this expression used a few times too often, followed by "a little modesty goes a long way" or some other patronizing crap.

funny, yeah...among the women in my life (including a sister and a few girlfriends who are currently breastfeeding) "whip out a boob" is a pretty common term, but it doesn't mean i literally pull my boob out and stick in people's faces. I sit down with my child and nurse him when he's hungry and I'd say that anyone around would be hard-pressed to glance nipple. And I actually think that BF your baby "with or without audience" sometimes DOES have something to do with whipping out a boob, at least in my world. Especially at home, if my little guy is suddenly desperate for some nursing, sometimes I do whip one out so fast that I'm like "why didn't I get in a more comfortable spot, where's my book, where's my pillow, gosh i'm thirsty, etc".
Anyway, I literally never... i mean I have NEVER... seen anyone else nip since I had my baby. Maybe i just have a frequently-eating baby. I spend a lot of time in another country, though and when I'm there i see women nursing their babies so who knows.

[Sk8ermaiden]

The amount of solids an under one-er takes is so small as to not really even count or make a change in nursing habits.

I have nursed in public twice - I MUCH prefer the car. I do see babies bottle feeding with more frequency, but not all over the place.

We are movers, so always feeding on the go, ever since she was itty bitty!