When do you tell your toddler?

[dollysods]

I am just wondering when you mamas tell your toddler that you are pregnant. How long did you wait? Do you wish you had told sooner, or later? Any advice on prepping a two-year-old for a new baby?

[dachshundqueen]

Read books.

A baby doll that they practice caring for, old pf's and covers, perhaps a sling (easily made with a strip of fabric and 2 d-rings).

I have a 2.5 yo and a 4.5 yo and we're not telling them till it's very obvious - but we're not telling a lot of family members (particularly his side - until I can't pass it off as "The doctor is working on my thyroid meds right now.").

Liz

[sharr610]

As soon as we knew! DS was 27 months when we found out we were pregnant. He didn't really want to acknowledge it until a month or so ago(I'm 6 months along now). We got a few books, but generally, we just mention that he's going to be a big brother. Try to compare it to friends of his who have had little brothers or sisters already, that seems to really resonate with him. But basically we just talk about it. How there is a baby in my belly and it will come out and be his little sister and be a part of our family.

In case you are worried about too early, FYI, we had an early miscarriage back in July. We just told DS that the baby that was in there was gone, and he seemed to hear it and understand as well. I never felt like it was anything to shield him from. He understands well enough.

[dannic]

When to tell? When you don't care if the whole world knows, lol!

[RedOakMomma]

Originally Posted by dannic

When to tell? When you don't care if the whole world knows, lol!

Exactly.

We're going to tell after we get our amnio results back...so around 20 weeks or so.

[Grace and Granola]

DS1 was only 17 months when new baby came along. He was probably 15 months when we started reading "big brother" books. I have no idea if he really understood or not. But I think books are a good way to go. I also wouldn't tell them too early because 9 months is a lifetime to a two year old! I think 4-5 months before due date or when you start really showing, I would start reading books and talking about it.

[YummyYumYumMama]

my daughter is 27 months old, and she's a blabbermouth, so i'm not gonna tell her till i'm ready for the world to know. so, maybe around 12-14 weeks?

just wondering, though, any book recommendations? we have 'runa's birth,' but i'd love some age-appropriate books about pregnancy as well. she'll be a couple weeks shy of 3 on my due date. i'd absolutely love to get her something that will explain pregnancy that is geared to toddlers rather than older preschoolers. any especially good titles?

[Shannie77]

My DD was actually the first person I told. At the time she was 27 months. She already had an awareness that babies grow inside their mommies, and that one day I would have a baby inside me. I have no regrets about telling her right way... except she almost spilled the beans before we were ready to tell everyone!

She has been the one rubbing my belly and talking about the baby. Honestly when I look back at this pregnancy I think I will remember what a special time it has been for me and DD.

We have watched some birth videos (mostly those on TV), and we have several "big sister" type books. I have one by Dr. Sears that I really like, one with just pictures which is great too. I also have one called "Amazing You". I got it when DD was 2. It is for preschoolers but talks about private parts, and where babies come from. My DD often pics that one out for us to read.

Mostly we just talk about it. I always keep it positive, and while I am sure the reality of a newborn will be a big adjustment for us both, right now she is very excited for her new baby sister to arrive.

[MaerynPearl]

Originally Posted by dannic

When to tell? When you don't care if the whole world knows, lol!

Yup! The day we decided to finally announce it, I finally told my 4 year old (shes not exactly a toddler but the same still applies)

She announced it to the family before I did, at her brothers birthday party. When she was asked what was going to happen this September (with the person asking fully expecting to be told that she will finally start school as she is so excited to do) she blurted out that that is when mommy will be having her baby.

Of course I told my kids before I told anyone else in the family because they ARE more important... but I did not tell them until I was ready for everyone to know because they have been so excited about the idea of another brother or sister that they have been pretty much begging me to get pregnant for about 2 years.

[Shazer]

I told my DD right away. She was 30 months at the time. And since we have talked often about her becoming a big sister. She really wanted a little sister and we had to talk a bunch when we found out that we are having a boy. What has really helped has been letting DD pick out stuff for the baby and help with preparations. She often will go get out her old baby toys and tells me of plans she has for the baby and what she will do for him. Letting her help has been the best way to prepare her. She picked out a few outfits for her brother, helped paint the nursery, helped put clothes away. This is just her nature that she has to be very involved. I tried reading books to her about it, but she is content with the analogy that she will have a little brother like Ruby has a little brother Max.

[limette]

When we were ttc. I'm 4 months and the kids are 2.5 and 4.5. They would run into the bathroom to see when I took a pregnancy test.

They are both excited and haven't complained about the long wait.

[mamaspirit]

My 3 year old knew before I told anyone... he rubbed my belly one day and said, "mommy, your gonna have a new baby." I innocently replied, "I am?" and he said, "yup!" and pointed to my 18 month old and said, "that one all grown up." After that he kept rubbing my bellly asking if the baby was big enough to come out yet. He is super excited. I've been watching home birth videos with both of the little ones and practicing birthing sounds, so that when I am in labor they are not scared of the noises I may be making. We make the grunting and moaning noises together and talk about how those noises make is easier for mama to get the baby out. There have been a few times recently that I have had a painful BH contraction and have stopped and breathed and rubbed my belly. My 3 year old asks me if it's time for the baby to come out. I think he is really ready!

[HeatherB]

With my 2nd pregnancy, I told my DS first - it was safe because he barely talked! I remember thinking he was getting close to old enough to understand, but would definitely not be spilling the beans!

This time, we waited to tell the kids until we were ready to start telling other family. Still, that was only about 5 weeks along. With my 2yo, I've been asking him questions prior to that though, like, "Do you want a new baby?," "What do you babies eat?," "Will you share your milk with a baby?" We'd watched a great birth video a few months ago that he LOVED, so he already knew where babies come from ("Mommy tummy!"), etc. Now that we've told the kids officially, all 3 are excited about it. I don't think the 2yo has a sense of time, of course. The 8yo is the one complaining (sweetly) about how long it will be before the baby comes.

[Paeta16]

We told DD (she'll be 3 in April) right away. I found if I didn't mention it for a few hours b/f going out, then she never let it slip. That being said, I am only 8.5 weeks and I've told the whole world now! LOL

[dex_millie]

For DS (21months when I got pregnant) I didn't say anything until it was obvious. I also didn't do any preparation with books or anything. I guess I don't see the big deal in it. Maybe if he was older and understood more I would have said something earlier. We talked more about it after my belly started showing a bit though, I really don't think he still understood much but it was cool to just have him pretend like he knew what was going on.

He was very gentle, nice and caring when DD reached. Now...well...they are fight and play like brother and sister. The more mobile and active she got the more DS increased his playfulness, parentlike and sibling riverly sides.

[Redheaded_Momma]

I waited to tell DS (little over 3yo at the time) until I had 2 u/s (at 7 weeks). He took it well. I might have waited a little longer b/c 9 months is an extra long time for a kid to wait to become the big brother.

We have been reading Hello Baby by Lizzy someone. DS is in love with the book. We have to read it multiple times per day. I do think it is geared toward preschoolers thought. We have a baby is another good book and might be more along the toddler line.

[sioleabha]

I always tell my kids right away. I specifically tell them not to tell anyone, and they keep my secret well. Of course, my youngest doesn't speak in full sentences yet, and the next oldest is 3 and pretty mature. The only problem I had was that a rude neighbor keeps asking my oldest daughter if I am pregnant (apparently ALL THE TIME, even when I had no intention of getting pregnant), and since I didn't want her to lie, I had to just tell her to say, "My mommy says that is our private business."

I don't think my toddler has any understanding of pregnancy, yet. He's 20 months, and I'm not even really showing. I tell him there's a baby in there, but he doesn't seem to understand.

[megan sacha]

We waited until about 9 weeks when my son was nearly 3. It was hard to keep it from him that long and I felt we were lying/hiding it from him. It just felt yucky when it was something that could affect him so much. That said, I was really nervous about the pg from 9-11 weeks when we finally had our first ultrasound and saw a real baby! He came with us to the u/s.