Farming, rural living and teenage isolation

[mamahart]

Hi All,
For starters, we run an organic farm for a local restaurant in a very rural and isolated location...I posted in one of the learning at home forums but thought I might find more responses here. I am homeschooling my 13 yr old after pulling her for the second time from the awful and distant high school. She is home now as opposed to gone 10 hours a day and I love this.
However...she is spending considerable time on the internet talking to old friends she has from her travels and old town. She mostly chats with them, sends pics, basically messes around. This is her only opportunity for talking to other kids during the week. On weekends we see the 3 or 4 other kids her age and attend any community activities.
My town is pop. 200 with about 30 kids ages 2-18. She does lots of other things but her internet time is very important to her.
I am feeling insecure about being a good mom to her and am wondering if this seems right/wrong, excessive? indulgent?
She writes constantly and reads a fair amount plus other learning. She is spending about 2 hours a day on the computer (this is what her bus ride was to and from school).
She complains of lonliness and isolation, but seems extremely well adjusted and well liked by both children and adults.
What do you think?

[seashells]

I am soooo reaching, I have no experience with rural living or teens or anything. But the idea that popped into my head was offering an apprenticeship on your farm, geared for younger people and maybe even specifically girls/young women.

[1jooj]

Actually, I think seashells' idea is great. A summer internship with a girl of similar age could be a great opportunity for friendship. I'd also consider foreign exchange students. There are students interested in rural living. Or maybe some of those old friends would like to visit for a few weeks at a time over summer.

I don't think that's indulgent or irresponsible, but of course I'd be concerned about the internet dark side.

Also, maybe as she gets older, she can lead something locally. A learning/service project over summer, something like that?

I'd also try hard to make her feel heard and understood by you. Teenage loneliness is a strong feeling. (And a common one. Even when kids are surrounded by people.)

[mamahart]

Thanks you guys! We do participate in the WWOOFer program and sometimes we have young (18-20) yr old girls here for a couple of weeks and that makes a huge difference, she can talk/bond play with these young women. I love the idea of a foreign exchange student! I have a teeny tiny cabin though and don't know what sorts of housing has to be provided but I might check that out, even in the states, having a summer student volunteer or something.
We are very very aware and alert about the dangers of the internet and we have already had a scare with a "stranger" who was wierd so her internet time is 95% talking with kids she knows from her travels.
We do have friends come and spend time and it is so great, they are just now getting old enough to actually come spend a few weeks, at 10 they were so young and now at 13 they like the creeks and hiking and horses etc etc.
It's just hard for all the teens in this little town. But I made this decision to raise my kids here very intentionally. It's paradise for my 5 year old and just quite a bit tougher on my 13 year old. Maybe that's just life though.
Thanks again!

[7thDaughter]

Hi I'm using my mom's ID. I am sixteen. My advice would be set up sleepovers at her friend's houses so she can be in town and socialize in person. Do them about once a month and invite her friends to your place for the weekend also, not just strangers.

[mamahart]

Thanks 7th daughters daughter! We try and have sleepovers every fri and sat night either here or at their houses, but there really isn't a town even remotely nearby. Our last trip to Arizona was a fiesta of sleepovers and shopping, I think if I could do that every 2 or 3 months it would be nice...but probably not until summer.