So after ds1 we tried to have sex at 3 mo pp and my perineum tore open and bled pretty badly for a few hours afterwards, we tried again at 6 mo pp and it still hurt but we tried to keep at it regularly (maybe once a week) and it seriously took almost two years to feel normal again.
This time around I am trying to be proactive, I am 6 weeks pp and have been lucky enough to reconnect with a friend who is a sex therapist and helps a lot of couples through pp sex. She recommended a soothing natural lubricant and videos... It is the videos I am hung up on, but at least the ones she sent me are directed by women for women, haven't watched them yet. She is also recommending perineal massage with sweet almond oil or something along those lines daily. What she says is the most important thing is to be in the mood when we do try, or even just start trying to be in the mood through cuddling, kissing and touching.
The problem is, I am so not in the mood, yes I know only 6 weeks pp, but I am not attracted to my hubby at all these days! That comes from more than just having had a baby, life is stressful, money is tight, we are both cranky and sleep deprived. I want to want to have sex, we haven't had sex since I was maybe two months pregnant, dh does not like pregnant sex and that hurt me more than I realized this time around. So I am not really feeling up to giving him any of my emotional energy if that makes sense.
And of course I am breastfeeding and plan on breastfeeding until ds2 weans himself, for ds1 he weaned at 2.5 yrs.
Arg.
This time around I am trying to be proactive, I am 6 weeks pp and have been lucky enough to reconnect with a friend who is a sex therapist and helps a lot of couples through pp sex. She recommended a soothing natural lubricant and videos... It is the videos I am hung up on, but at least the ones she sent me are directed by women for women, haven't watched them yet. She is also recommending perineal massage with sweet almond oil or something along those lines daily. What she says is the most important thing is to be in the mood when we do try, or even just start trying to be in the mood through cuddling, kissing and touching.
The problem is, I am so not in the mood, yes I know only 6 weeks pp, but I am not attracted to my hubby at all these days! That comes from more than just having had a baby, life is stressful, money is tight, we are both cranky and sleep deprived. I want to want to have sex, we haven't had sex since I was maybe two months pregnant, dh does not like pregnant sex and that hurt me more than I realized this time around. So I am not really feeling up to giving him any of my emotional energy if that makes sense.
And of course I am breastfeeding and plan on breastfeeding until ds2 weans himself, for ds1 he weaned at 2.5 yrs.
Arg.
