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Am I unreasonable about this? - Page 2

post #21 of 82
3/20/10 at 4:38pm
You were not unreasonable. Responsible dog owners do not let their dogs run up to others, especially children.

It drives me crazy that people do not take responsibility for their animals. I have pets. I know their temperaments. I still err on the side of protecting people since animals can be unpredictable. I would hate for someone to get hurt because I didn't do my job.
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post #22 of 82
3/20/10 at 5:11pm
I'm of the opinion that all dogs should be leashed in public places unless it is an off leash area specifically. So no, I don't think you were unreasonable.

I'm not afraid of dogs, but I personally don't care how friendly a dog is, unless I go up to you and ask if I may pet your dog, then I likely don't want your dog around me. I don't want to be licked. I don't want to get dog hair on my clothes, I don't want dogs to jump on me, or sniff my crotch. Nor do I want dogs to do these things to my child. It seems a lot (not all) dog owners feel that because they love their dog and their dog doesn't bite that everyone should be fine having their dog just come running up to them. This isn't the case. A lot of people don't care, some people find it annoying, and others are terrified or allergic. There is a reason off leash areas exist.
post #23 of 82
3/20/10 at 5:24pm
Were you a jerk? No way! You were polite but firm and rightfully angry. That's entirely fair.
post #24 of 82
3/20/10 at 5:34pm
I am a huge animal lover, and we have a large dog ourselves. With that being said, I would have been pissed off to no end! You do NOT let your large animal who has the ability to completely maul a small child run free and bound towards my offspring! While most dogs are generally stable and their temperments well known to their owners, there is always the possibility, no matter how remote, that something may spook them or hit them wrong and they will act in an unpredictable way. That's something that I know FAR better than I know your (stranger, general your) dog - as I know absolutely nothing about your dog! Except, of course, that it's coming straight for my children and I'm helpless to do anything about it. Considering that there was a dog friendly beach only a mile up the road, this isn't a matter of there not being anywhere else for them to take their dog - and heck, what dog owner doesn't love to take their dog to the beach? We always enjoyed that when we lived in Florida! I think many people forget just how powerful and what kind of damage a large dog can do to a small child, and only think that "my dog is friendly so it's not a problem".
post #25 of 82
3/20/10 at 5:48pm
I think you were fine, OP.

I think that more dog owners need to be respectful of people with fears or allergies. I am in the latter catagory.

If a dog comes up to me and sniffs me or touches any part of my body, I will break out in a rash and begin to gasp for air. I have to go home, strip, shower, wash my hair, neti pot, take even more allergy medicine than I already take on a regular basis. I even had to wash my purse after I went to meet with a lawyer for my upcoming divorce and was greeted by a german shepherd who licked me and rubbed up against me. And she wondered why I turned and ran back out the door! It is one thing to go in to an office and see a dog- like, naturally there are service dogs, but another to be licked and rubbed on by one. I think that is so wrong

I can no longer attend family functions that are not at my Mom and Dad's house because everyone in the family thinks it is okay to let their dogs jump on me and then they say "Oh we didn't know J was allergic to dog." Um, okay so you have known me for 31 years and I had and allergic reaction to your dog last Christmas/Easter, etc, and you STILL DON'T KNOW that I am allergic to dogs? How insensitive

Sorry, this is one of my buttons

ETA: I wanted to say that I am not a dog hater I like dogs. I admire them playing from a distance and will say polite things to my neighbor's dog from a distance I just don't want it to touch me.
post #26 of 82
3/20/10 at 5:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineJ View Post
I think many people forget just how powerful and what kind of damage a large dog can do to a small child, and only think that "my dog is friendly so it's not a problem".
I absolutely agree. And in fact in my days long before children my dh and I (he was my boyfriend then) had a medium-sized dog who was very well trained and well behaved and we always walked her off-leash. I just didn't *get it* at that stage in my life that other people might be afraid, or just unappreciative of my dog coming up to them or their kids. I figured she was a sweetheart so what's the big deal. Now that I'm older and a mom myself I have the opposite opinion. When I bring my dog in public (well, that is if we still had a dog) my first responsibility is to keep other people and their property safe - and safe-feeling (if that makes sense).
post #27 of 82
3/20/10 at 6:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElaynesMom View Post
I'm not afraid of dogs, but I personally don't care how friendly a dog is, unless I go up to you and ask if I may pet your dog, then I likely don't want your dog around me. I don't want to be licked. I don't want to get dog hair on my clothes, I don't want dogs to jump on me, or sniff my crotch. Nor do I want dogs to do these things to my child. It seems a lot (not all) dog owners feel that because they love their dog and their dog doesn't bite that everyone should be fine having their dog just come running up to them. This isn't the case. A lot of people don't care, some people find it annoying, and others are terrified or allergic. There is a reason off leash areas exist.


I love my dog, but I realize that everyone else may not be as entertained by her as I am. I HATE it when people ignore leash laws. I hate being approached by an off-leash dog when I have mine on a leash. It makes me nervous and my dog gets defensive, and, yes, dog fights have happened.

I think you were perfectly civil to the irresponsible dog owner. I don't think I would have been so nice.
post #28 of 82
3/20/10 at 6:12pm
Quote:
I love my dog, but I realize that everyone else may not be as entertained by her as I am. I HATE it when people ignore leash laws. I hate being approached by an off-leash dog when I have mine on a leash. It makes me nervous and my dog gets defensive, and, yes, dog fights have happened.
I feel the same way. My dog is well controlled, well trained and on leash. I live in a densely populated city and I am regularly approached by off leash dogs. I don't give a hoot if your dog is friendly (and most of the time the dog is NOT friendly-people are generally clueless about dog to dog interactions). I am not impressed with your "well" trained dog. If he is so well trained how come he is ignoring your repeated pleadings to "come?"

Leash laws exist for a reason and I obey them.

Obviously this is a huge pet peeve of mine and I LOVE dogs.

But, I am also well aware that the 3-5% of horrid or irresponsible dog owners have such a huge impact on the rest of us that sometimes it seems that all I do to ensure me and my dog are part of a civil society is all for naught.
post #29 of 82
3/20/10 at 6:30pm
I'd be like, "no harm, no foul" with a dog.

But eeww, keep your cat away from me!!!!!!!!!!!
post #30 of 82
3/20/10 at 7:09pm
I am wary of strange dogs in general and would have spelled out my concerns to the dog's owners.
post #31 of 82
3/20/10 at 7:48pm
I'm a dog owner and I get really annoyed with other dog owners who let their dogs run off leash. My dog does not like other dogs coming up to him, and often when we're out walking (my dog on leash), dogs run up, get in his face, and my dog tries to attack them. I hate it, I've got my dog under control, now keep yours under control so there's not a dog fight here on our hands.

Also, there are many people afraid of dogs. They should be able to be out in public without unleashed dogs coming up to them.
post #32 of 82
3/20/10 at 7:59pm
I would have been upset. My middle son used to be terrified of large dogs, and that could have really upset him when he was younger. Also, you never know if someone else's kids might have developmental issues, and having a large, strange dog run over might be a really big problem.

I have a large dog. I have a black German Shepherd who is absolutely friendly and would never hurt a child. He WOULD, however, run right over and try to introduce himself. Which is why I do not take him anywhere without a leash, unless it is a place where unleashed dogs are specifically allowed. (And I get really annoyed that other people in my neighborhood let their dogs run around without a leash, because my dog does NOT like other dogs, and there's not a lot I can do if my big dog is on a leash and your tiny little yip yap dog is off-leash and running circles around my dog's feet.)

Now, if you were at the dogs-allowed beach, or a beach that allowed dogs off-leash, then I'd tell you to suck it up, it's not just your beach. But obviously that is not the case, so I don't think you were wrong at all.
post #33 of 82
3/20/10 at 8:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by southhavenjen View Post
I'm a dog owner and I get really annoyed with other dog owners who let their dogs run off leash. My dog does not like other dogs coming up to him, and often when we're out walking (my dog on leash), dogs run up, get in his face, and my dog tries to attack them. I hate it, I've got my dog under control, now keep yours under control so there's not a dog fight here on our hands.
Yes, exactly! One of my neighbors was freaking out and yelling at me to keep my dog away from her precious little chihuahua -- when MY dog was on a leash, and HER dog was not. (And this was not in her yard or anything, we were in the street by the park.) Sure, my dog looked like he was trying to EAT her dog, but what does she want me to do? I can only control the one on the leash!
post #34 of 82
3/20/10 at 8:09pm
It would be one thing if the dog had accidentally gotten loose, or if she was very apologetic about the situation instead of obviously playing stupid.

I would be annoyed too! We have two big dogs, and I love dogs, but you never know if a dog will be friendly or not.

I would especially be annoyed that she was at the dog-free beach with her dog. I wouldn't want my kids to dig in the sand where the dog has just pooped and peed! That's why they have a dog beach area!
post #35 of 82
3/20/10 at 9:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElaynesMom View Post
I'm of the opinion that all dogs should be leashed in public places unless it is an off leash area specifically. So no, I don't think you were unreasonable.

I'm not afraid of dogs, but I personally don't care how friendly a dog is, unless I go up to you and ask if I may pet your dog, then I likely don't want your dog around me. I don't want to be licked. I don't want to get dog hair on my clothes, I don't want dogs to jump on me, or sniff my crotch. Nor do I want dogs to do these things to my child. It seems a lot (not all) dog owners feel that because they love their dog and their dog doesn't bite that everyone should be fine having their dog just come running up to them. This isn't the case. A lot of people don't care, some people find it annoying, and others are terrified or allergic. There is a reason off leash areas exist.

I am a dog owner and I feel the exact same way.

and I am so guilty of letting my dog get away from me (she gets really excited) and causing a ruckus. i would never act as though it was a small thing. i usually fall over myself apologizing, explaining what happened etc. I think your response was more than appropriate and more friendly than it needed to be. if a strange dog came up to my kids in a place they were specifically forbidden I would be ticked off.
post #36 of 82
3/20/10 at 9:13pm
I'd be very angry as well. I do not like strange dogs coming at me and my kids. Too much could happen too quickly. I live in a residential neighborhood where people let their dogs roam and I HATE IT.
post #37 of 82
3/20/10 at 9:25pm
I would have been pissed. I have a child that is scared of dogs and he would have been terrified by what you described. It matters very little if the dog owner knows their dog is nice etc no one can know that and it can not and should not be assumed. It was irresponsible of the dog owner and you were nicer than I think I could have been (seeing my child terrified by someone else's irresponsibility doesn't bring out the best in me).
post #38 of 82
3/20/10 at 9:52pm
I don't think you overreacted. I would expect a dog owner to follow leash laws. I would especially be upset about a dog coming towards my kids - even a well behaved animal can become aggressive given the right circumstances.
post #39 of 82
3/20/10 at 10:05pm
We go to a beach in Marin county where dogs can go off leash if they are under voice command. Well our dog is no where near that well behaved so she must stay on a leash. Once we went and no one else was really there so we let her run. We always carry plastic bags to clean up after her. I bought a book to research which beaches were dog beaches because I do not want to make the mistake of taking her somewhere inappropriate.
post #40 of 82
3/20/10 at 10:09pm
Thread Starter 
Yeah, one of the first things I always wonder about is how a strange dog would react if the child were to panic or scream? I'm glad dd kept her cool. She didn't act afraid of it at all, probably thanks to her being raised with our large dogs. Later she said she was, though, when it ran barking at her.

My husband was LIVID when I told him tonight. Heh. I'm kinda glad he wasn't there now, lol.

But, I think next time I will handle myself differently. I mean, I don't think I made the lady think anything but "dog hater blah blah blah..." But, that couldn't be farther from the truth. At one point, I actually owned 5, and it pained me when we had to pair down to two. And it's still killing me I had to give up my dog a few weeks ago. I can't wait to get back into dog-training, and I'm hoping now that dh is home, I can be afforded more of an opportunity.

So, next time (though I hope there never is one ), I think I'll try to "catch more flies with honey", and engage the owner in conversation about the issue. I'm sure that lady will do it again, and maybe, if I hadn't been short with her, I could have made her think.

So...how could I phrase the issue kindly and gently to help her see (or whoever...I"ll probably never see her again) why it's such a big deal?
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