Am I unreasonable about this? - Page 3

[*Erin*]

op,you were a lot nicer than i wouldve been. seriously, we live at the beach, too, and encounter the same issue from time to time. there are signs at EVERY beach access that clearly state the leash law, and there is just no excuse for someone to miss them. i *hate* when someone gets angry and/or defensive, because you just don't know how someones dog will react to your child. no matter what a sweet animal they are, they are still that, a strange animal. super annoying. and possibly dangerous. that's why there are laws.
i am with elaynes mom, too, i don't like to have a strange dog in my space or my child's.
edit to add
i think it's noble of you to try a kind approach. i lose my cool around this issue, and it's very hard for me to do that. i admire that you are gonna give it a go.

[Drummer's Wife]

That would have irritated me, but I doubt I would have said anything (just b/c I'm non-confrontational).

Yesterday we were at the beach and I had read the kids the rules posted when we got there (I can't recall why, I think the 5 yo asked what they said), anyhow, when we were leaving a lady with two kids and a dog showed up and my DS said loudly, "she's breaking the rules, mom. The sign said no dogs!" - which actually embarrased me just b/c I'm shy like that. At least it was on a leash, and hopefully she didn't let it run around after we were gone.

My 5 yo, BTW, is afraid of dogs if they bark or jump up on him. Last weekend a friend's dogs were super excited and did both, and my DS was in tears and was upset for a while after we left. They wouldn't bite or hurt him, but he doesn't get that yet.

[2xy]

Originally Posted by Grace and Granola

I don't know. I am the owner of a very large, but very well behaved dog. He went through obedience training and wouldn't hurt a fly.

If your large, well behaved dog came running up to me and my smaller, not-well-behaved dog....and my dog snapped and growled and tried to bite, would your dog just stand there and wag his tail?

It only takes one dog to start a fight. Smaller dogs are often intimidated and defensive when larger dogs get in their space. Children are not always happy to be confronted by a large animal, either. They could scream or shriek or try to hit at the dog.

[Joyster]

I would have been ticked. I love dogs, I've worked at a national kennel club, I've trained them professionally, I wouldn't consider a breed of dog unless it was 60+ pounds and I really prefer 80lbs and over, so I love big dogs!

That said, I also like leash laws, I don't take my kids to off leash parks because I know way too many people who don't train their dogs properly. I don't trust anyone who has their dog off leash and letting it bound up to strangers (especially with small kids) in a leashed area as the most vigilant of dog trainers.

I think you handled it very well.

[KristyDi]

I don't care how friendly your dog is, my dd is still allergic to it, especially the saliva. So if an un-leased friendly dog comes up and licks dd, which she would love, she will then get hives and swell. I will then need to give her allergy meds, which will knock her out for several hours. So your friendly dog just basically ended our day of fun because dd will now sleep through whatever we were going to do.

I like dogs, but really really hate it when my dd gets charged by a dog in a place where the dog should be leashed.

OP you did fine. It's not ok to let your dog, big or small, friendly or not, charge and circle strangers in a place where dogs are not allowed off leash.

[Pepper44]

Originally Posted by KristyDi

I don't care how friendly your dog is, my dd is still allergic to it, especially the saliva. So if an un-leased friendly dog comes up and licks dd, which she would love, she will then get hives and swell. I will then need to give her allergy meds, which will knock her out for several hours. So your friendly dog just basically ended our day of fun because dd will now sleep through whatever we were going to do.

I like dogs, but really really hate it when my dd gets charged by a dog in a place where the dog should be leashed.

OP you did fine. It's not ok to let your dog, big or small, friendly or not, charge and circle strangers in a place where dogs are not allowed off leash.

That used to happen to me from cat saliva when I was a kid! It was SO itchy!! Luckily I somehow outgrew the allergy. I can't imagine how much worse dog saliva would be than cat--at least cats just rub you in one tiny spot and usually with permission...a dog can spread saliva pretty far in a split second...yuck.

[funkymamajoy]

My oldest is terrified of dogs he doesn't know. I'm so tired of dog owners telling me "its okay, he's friendly." Look at my hysterically crying child, does that look okay? I don't blame the dog owners who have their dogs on leashes but that doesn't change my son's reaction. I don't know how a unleashed dog would react to my son's noise and running away and that thought really scares me.

This is why we choose non-dog beaches and parks.

[becoming]

I definitely would have been upset, particularly because my daughter is TERRIFIED of dogs & that incident would probably have ruined what would have been a fun day for her. She would have been a basketcase after that happened.

[madskye]

She should have called her dog and apologized.

I will say, I was just in a similar situation on Weds, except my dog was on a leash. I have 5 month old black lab puppy, very sweet, and DD 4.5 and I took her for a walk at a park near my house. I hadn't been there with her, but had thought it would be great for her, since she's still a puppy, it's fairly flat and not too large, and has a nice mix of dirt trail into woods that's not too challenging for my daughter.

We were walking on the path and a woman jogged around my daughter, and I when I apologized for DD being in her way (because she was walking like a 4 year old and tough to get around) the puppy jumped up and put her paws on the lady's mid-section. I had the leash slack and just wasn't expecting it. My dog is a puppy, and I don't see how she could be perceived as threatening, but I do see how it could be annoying to have a dog jump up on you as you are trying to run.

Anyway, she let me know that DOGS ARE NOT EVEN ALLOWED IN THIS PARK! And I was like, really? I'm sorry, I didn't know we'll leave. And she kind of spat at me IT'S POSTED ON THE SIGN WHERE YOU WALK IN. And I felt like total crap. I have pms, and I must admit--I actually cried a bit once we got back in the car. She was absolutely in the right but I was still very taken aback and felt embarassed.

I had imagined that at the trailhead there was a giant picture of a dog with a slash through it with No DOGS ALLOWED in red or something similar. Actually, there's a sign that lists the park rules and along with no alcohol, nobody in the park after dark, and no firearms, dogs are also listed. And the the kicker--right next to the sign, is one of those disposable doggy poop bag dispensers.

You're absolutely not in the wrong, and as the mother of a four year old and as a dog owner I don't think you're unreasonable to not want unleashed dogs invading your space. I guess all I'd offer is what you've already posted in follow up--that in the future maybe treating the offender with some gentleness would make for a better day for everyone, you wouldn't feel like someone thought you were a "dog-hater" and they might be able to realize that they are actually in the wrong.

You asked about a different way to handle, and I'd just go for honesty. "You know, we actually love dogs, I used to have 5. But I can tell you, a lot of children would be very afraid of a strange, large dog charging up to them. Also, dogs aren't allowed on the beach, so parents shouldn't have to watch out for them here."

[meemee]

we cant control our reactions.

i think if you had showed how scared you were - i think that would have sat well rather than anger. anger pushes people away. for many people i know freakout and concern comes out as anger.

i think if you had told her how scary it was - she probably would have put the leash on.

or in your anger told her how would you feel if a total stranger dog came running up to your children and circled them barking - would have made her think.

these days i focus on myself and make myself 'vulnerable' to all. so when people see from my point of view - whether it is said in anger or statement - i notice they listen easier.

[Just1More]

Originally Posted by meemee

we cant control our reactions.

i think if you had showed how scared you were - i think that would have sat well rather than anger. anger pushes people away. for many people i know freakout and concern comes out as anger.

i think if you had told her how scary it was - she probably would have put the leash on.

or in your anger told her how would you feel if a total stranger dog came running up to your children and circled them barking - would have made her think.

these days i focus on myself and make myself 'vulnerable' to all. so when people see from my point of view - whether it is said in anger or statement - i notice they listen easier.

Yes, thank you for reminding me to be real. I guess I was real, because I WAS mad. I wasn't scared. I had only a moment of trepidation because I could guage the dog's mannerisms and judged it to be annoying but not mean. It's been a long time since I've been that mad.

But next time, yeah, a few more words, a lot less "tone." (sorry about that madskye)

FTR, at our beach, there is single sign as you walk over the bridge over the dunes saying "no dogs. A dog beach is located south of ________." And when you get to the beach, there is a big sign pointing you to the dog beach.
It's not in fine print, and these are only 2 of the most obvious signs. There are plenty more.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Originally Posted by pumpkin

You were not unreasonable. Responsible dog owners do not let their dogs run up to others, especially children.

It drives me crazy that people do not take responsibility for their animals. I have pets. I know their temperaments. I still err on the side of protecting people since animals can be unpredictable. I would hate for someone to get hurt because I didn't do my job.

AMEN. Even in a place where pets ARE permitted--like a PETSMART, people don't handle their pets the way they should. I've seen dogs snap at people in the PETSMART and the owners are just like: la tee da--the dog is on a leash.
Whatever. We have dogs, cats and rabbits.
I've had BIG dogs. I never ever am selfish enough to consider my right to walk my dog where I chose OVER someone's right to feel comfortable in the PETSMART or the beach or where ever...it's just not right. I don't care if is a pet friendly place--if you aren't comfortable, it's not pet friendly to you.

[wookie]

Originally Posted by MCR

I'm not a dog lover. I'd have been panicked if I'd have been alone with my arms full and seen a big dog heading towards my kids, unleashed and circling them. Friendly or not people should be more responsible, the dog beach was further up and the signs said no dogs, I would not have been so nice, probably after I screamed from where I was as it got to my kids.

the other day we went to the library and someone had leashed their dog right outside the entrance. it was a big dog and it barked at anyone who came in or out. the owners were inside somewhere not watching. when we came out my ds was so scared he wouldn't leggo of my leg. i had a bag of books plus baby in arms. we made it out somehow. i watched as another family waited outside for a bit to see if the dog would give them room and then left when he didn't. i was

not everyone loves dogs. yours might be totally well behaved but that doesn't mean he can come sniff me.

[limabean]

I'm a dog lover. We had a beloved dog who passed away just a few months ago. We always followed the leash laws with our dog, but I'm not nuts about enforcing leash laws for others -- there's a border collie who does training in the park by our house and we don't mind a bit because the owner has the dog under complete voice-command control at all times and doesn't let it approach people.

The kind of behavior you described in your OP irks me -- just because I think my dog is friendly and don't mind her slobbery kisses doesn't mean anyone else should have to tolerate them in a space where dogs are clearly not allowed. Other people may be allergic, afraid, or just plain not like dogs, and when they go to areas with clearly marked "no dogs allowed" signs, they should be assured that they won't encounter a dog, especially an off-leash dog whose owner allows it to approach people. I would have been mad and said so too.

[lonegirl]

I wouldn't have been too annoyed if I could read the dog's behaviour. I would have informed the owner that, sadly, that was a beach with restricitions and that if she wanted to have her dog off leash that the beach nearby was a leash-free area. I couldn't be sure that she was new to the area or a visitor and didn't see the sign....trust me I have seen some of the signs and with some you have to read a lot of fine print to see the restrictions. Personally, I am of the belief that there should be more off-leash parks available to dog owners....
I would be annoyed though if after I told her about the other beach that she didn't immediately leash her dog.

[Labbemama]

oops double posted.

[Labbemama]

I think telling them your kids are afraid and that is a dog friendly park a mile down the way would be highly appropriate. Most ppl would appreciate knowing about an alternative rather than being told off, even if they are breaking the park laws. Most ppl would feign ignorance or get rude if confronted, so a non confrontational helpful directions to the dog park would probably have the best result, a fun day for everyone.

as a dog owner I'd want to go somewhere my dog was welcome and I would not want to scare little kids either.

I'm a firm believer in proper training of dogs too not to jump up on ppl.

It doesn't sound like the dog was getting much attention from it's owners either.

There are too many uncared for dogs roaming my neighborhood.
there are two that look just alike, both red-nosed pits and one is so sweet and the other quite aggressive and unless you call the nice one's name you can't tell the difference! But scarier yet is a big black emaciated mama great dane.

[SunshineJ]

Originally Posted by limabean

I'm a dog lover. We had a beloved dog who passed away just a few months ago. We always followed the leash laws with our dog, but I'm not nuts about enforcing leash laws for others -- there's a border collie who does training in the park by our house and we don't mind a bit because the owner has the dog under complete voice-command control at all times and doesn't let it approach people.

IF the owner has the dog that well trained, then I personally couldn't care less if it's on a leash. Unfortunatley, that's pretty uncommon in my experience and most people I've encountered consider "well trained" to mean that they won't maul another person on sight and will eventually come when called. What you're describing seems like more of a professional training or a "working dog" that's been worked with extensively, and imo they aren't an issue.

[pixiekisses]

I would probably not have been nice at all, I'm afraid of dogs, I know that, but I can't control my reaction towards dogs/dog owners when I'm really scared because a big dog is running towards me/my kids. I would've flipped out.

So I think you did very well.

[MoonStarFalling]

OP I would have said the same thing. I will tell people at parks to get their dog on a leash. I've always been very wary of strange unleashed dogs running up to my child. It wasn't until about a month ago, when my 2 year old was attacked by a German Shepard, that I truly realized that a dog can kill a child in far less time than it would take a parent standing a foot away to react and TRY to remove their screaming baby from the dogs mouth. I'm even more adamant about unleashed dogs now.