15mo dd awake for 2-4 hours in the middle of the night!

[bluedaisy]

Occasionally my dd will have a night where she wakes up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep for 2-4 hours.

Last night she woke up and I nursed/rocked her for over 2 hours. the entire time she looked like she was on the verge of falling asleep. She would close her eyes for a few seconds, then open them. She wasn't trying to get down and play or crying or anything, but she would.not.sleep.

This happens somewhat often (a few times a month) and I never know how to handle it. Sometimes I'll bring her out to the sitting room if I nurse for 1-2 hours and she's still not asleep, but those are the nights that turn into 4 hours of awake time. Other times she will be asleep in 10 or 15 minutes.

I am getting so tired of rocking on that chair in the middle of the night trying not to fall asleep myslef and getting sore nipples from 1-2 hours of constant nursing.

What can I do?

[rzberrymom]

Whenever my DD did this, we played dead. If we stayed perfectly still and didn't move a muscle, she would usually play a bit and then resettle herself within 15 minutes or so--if we engaged her at all (tried to resettle her, tried to rock or nurse), she was awake for 2-3 hours.

It meant we had to babyproof the room and show her how to get off the bed safely (which is remarkably easy for them to do), and then we felt fine about letting her explore a bit by herself in the night.

It usually happened when she was learning a new skill. It's a phase and will pass.

[tigermiep]

I could have written this myself. My DS, 15 months, has been doing this several nights a week since last, um, June? July? So, it will pass, I'm sure, but it hasn't yet for us...

[dollyanna]

DD started doing that around that age, also. Playing dead used to sort of work for us, but now she jumps up & down on me or hits me until I react.

She is now almost 2 and I have really been considering that it actually might be time for her own room. She had her own toddler bed in her own room when we went on vacation and she slept soooo much better than she does at home (where she sleeps in a crib in our room or cosleeps, just depends on the night). I think she was also worn out from all the activity on vacation, but it made me wonder...

[Louisep]

Same here! Ever since ds turned one. Lately I just ignore him and he'll sometimes get up and come back to bed, other times he'll just flop around the bed. I've decided in the future when it gets bad, I'll just get him up and watch tv (which we never do with him). I hope he grows out of it.

[lifeguard]

Every few weeks ds will have a night like that. For him it is 3 hours - almost on the nose. He isn't ready to party but there is no chance he will fall asleep. I know now that is his pattern & on those rare nights I just bring him downstairs & watch the tv quietly or read a book. I can't sleep if he's awake so I figure I might as well be a little entertained through it.

Fortunately it happens rarely.

[Just1More]

Dd2 is doing that also. But, I am pg and my supply isn't what it used to be. We've discovered that she is hungry, and nursing just isn't quite cutting it.

She'd be mostly awake and nursing for HOURS in the middle of the night. Now, I nurse her back to sleep one time, but if she keeps unlatching and relatching and won't be settled, I pass her off to dh who goes to get her something to eat. Everytime we've done this (5 or 6 now), she happily eats her snack, and then goes right to sleep.

So, we've started giving her something very filling, like a bowl of oatmeal RIGHT before bed. And she slept 9 hours straight.

So, maybe your dd is hungry and is having a hard time going back to sleep? When dd1 did it, it was because she was thirsty. The pollen had her a bit stuffed up and she was breathing through her nose, which made her mouth dry. It kept waking her up and she needed a drink to go back to sleep. A sipee cup fixed that in a hurry.

[meemee]

the only way i knew how to handle it was to join her.

if i tried putting dd to bed and she would take a long time to sleep it would totally frustrate me and make me mad.

for my dd it was more of a brain going wild.

i found the more i fought it the longer she took.

if i fulfilled the need she was never awake more than an hour or two.

these are things we did.

go to a all night diner in our pjs for 'something'.

i would sit up and play with her. she was in a asking questions mode and i would sit and talk.

i would play with her and discover the thoughts that were intruiging her.

i think this is a developmental change. it is an age appropriate behaviour. i think it is related to brain development. suddenly they see and are aware of things and dont know how to link it yet.

[Picard]

I've been wanting to post a similar post for ages...since just after DS's first B-day. He is nearly two now and it seems that since the last few months he is awake almost every night from about midnight to about 3am. We have tried to come up with reasons as to why this is happening given that he was doing so well when he was smaller. It's really tough right now. He nurses for hours on end and I now have to compensate with taking a nap along with him during the day. I am glad that we are not the only ones experiencing this. Question though: when is this phase over?

[Peony]

Both my girls did this. DD1 I could not get back to sleep so we would get up and she could nurse the whole time while I watched a movie and then we would go back to bed when she finally fell asleep. With DD2, we would play dead and then she would eventually fall back asleep. It came in phases, nothing for weeks or months then a few nights of it, and then nothing again for a while. DD1 did this for well over a year, and then stopped for a few years until she developed insomnia, DD2 for several months.

[bluedaisy]

Thanks for all the replies, it's always nice to know i'm not alone.

this happened again last night. she woke up screaming for dad (which she almost never does, she always wants me at night) - so he held her for a minute then I tried to "play dead" but mostly I was just too tired to get up, so she crawled around the bed, latched several times, unlatched, then she started screaming and "singing" so I got up after over an hours and nursed her for about an hour and half until she finally fell asleep.

Hmmm, maybe she is hungry. she is not the best eater but she has been doing better lately so I didn't even think of that. She will nurse for hours.

I think I'm always concerned if I take her out of the bedroom she will get used to getting a middle of the night snack/playtime and I don't want it to become a routine.

OTOH, I get so frustrated, it's not helping anyone for me to rock her in the dark bedroom for 2-3 hours while I'm fuming inside.

It seems also like if I take her out of the room she will be awake for an extra hour or two, but it might be worth it for my sanity.

we've also thought about getting her own room. the extra bedroom is for my dh to study in now (he's a grad student) but he'll be graduating in may.

for those who "play dead", if your LO climbs off the bed, how does he/she get back in? our bed is kinda high, she can climb off but there's no way she could get back on. if i try to put her in the crib to play by herself, she just screams.

Maybe next time I'll try bringing her out and giving her a snack - hopefully "next time" wont be for a while!

[rzberrymom]

Originally Posted by bluedaisy

for those who "play dead", if your LO climbs off the bed, how does he/she get back in? our bed is kinda high, she can climb off but there's no way she could get back on.

That's a hard one. I've never found bed sharing to be very compatible with these super-high American beds. At different times, we've put the mattress directly on the floor or used a low platform-style frame (Ikea, CB2, West Elm, and most futon stores carry them).