Flower Girl advice?

[karemore]

DD is going to be the flower girl in my sister's wedding in two month. She'll be turning 5 just a few weeks before the wedding. I'll be a bridesmaid.

I don't know what to expect, so I don't know how to prepare DD or myself. My husband and I got married at home with only immediate family present. I haven't been in a wedding in over 20 years, and even then there was no flower girl.

If you had a flower girl or your DD has been a flower girl do you have any tips for keeping from being too overwhelming?

The bride and bridesmaids are meeting at 10 am at the wedding site for hair and makeup. The wedding isn't until 3 pm with photos beforehand. The reception is at the same location immediately after the ceremony.

I can't imagine what DD would do all that time from 10 until the photos, I can't imagine keeping her clean and her hair tidy that long....I think she'll be fine for the ceremony and the reception, it's all the waiting around part that will be hard for her.

I guess I'm worried about juggling bridesmaid duties and mother duties.

[hakeber]

My niece was my flower girl, she was about 6 I think... Anyway, my sister came last with her to prepare and she played around with grandmas and cousins until it was about 30 minutes before the ceremony, then had her hair and "make up" (pinkish lip gloss and natural mascara) done (we went really natural...hair down, and combed) and got her dressed. That way as soon as she was ready, the ceremony began...more or less.

I think any bride thay expects their under ten FG to be tidy for pictures more then ten minutes after getting hair done is being really...umm..optimistic?

I also had goodie bags for all my nieces with small coloring books, crayons, fancy pens and stickers, to occupy them, during the waiting periods either before the ceremony, or during, the cocktail hour, etc. Which helped, I think...Mybe bring a fun bag for her of stuff and use bribes, like: if you sit perfectly still during hair and make-up, you can have two helpings of dessert!

Just this once.

[fyrwmn]

my dd was a flower girl in my sister's wedding when she was 3. i was also matron of honor and did the photography. we bought her a little basket and flower petals to practice with a couple months beforehand. on the day of the wedding, i got her ready right before we had to go to the church. we also had dh walk her down the aisle so she wouldn't be as scared. dh ended up dropping the petals out of her basket because she decided she didn't want them on the floor, lol. we had her sit in the front row with dh and my parents so she didn't have to stand the whole time. she did end up going back down the aisle during the ceremony and picking up all her flowers. my sister was very laid back and realistic about what she expected from her though, so it was no big deal. the reception was at my parent's house, so she was able to change into play clothes and hang out with everyone. all in all, she did very good, much better than i expected from someone her age!

[claras_mom]

My niece was six when she was a flower girl at our wedding. I let her rip up the roses herself; my sister found the stash of coloring supplies at the back of the church. We were pretty low key though.

If I were in your position, I'd plan to bring toys and activities, not have my daughter change into her dress until 15 minutes before photos, and I'd talk to my sister about her expectations, just to see how realistic they are.

[snoopy5386]

Is your daughter expected to be there at 10 am too? Can your hubby be in charge of her for the day? Make sure your sis is prepared for the fact that she might not walk down the aisle when push comes to shove. We had my 3 yo cousin as one of our flower girls and while she did go down the aisle during the actual ceremony, she would have nothing to do with it during the rehearsal.
Also make sure she doesn't have to stand up front during the whole ceremony - we immediately had all the kids sit down, less mischief and less eyes on them during the ceremony. This past summer we were at a wedding where both mom and dad were in the wedding party - the 3 yo ring bearer started freaking out and had no one to go to nor anyone to take him anywhere, bad planning if you ask me.
When it was our wedding I got my cousins a book about being a flower girl and their mom rehearsed with them - aka set up chairs and made an "aisle" etc. I would see if your library has any books or order one of Amazon.

[Tjej]

I had a little crew of flower girls at my wedding (I loved being one as a child and anyway, that's what I wanted at our wedding!) . My flowergirls did not have moms in the wedding party, though, so I just figured they were handled most of the time.

As far as prep, I know their moms had them wearing the dresses a little beforehand to get used to them/make sure they didn't bother them. They also liked getting their hair done all pretty (by mom). The church where our wedding was had the dressing room as a toy room, so they had plenty to play with/do if they wanted.

It's so fun! Oh, but beware, when I was little, they made me kiss a ring bearer! Yuck.

HTH

Tjej

[Aquitane]

My DD was 3 and 1/2 when she was flower girl in my cousin's wedding. She LOVED it. My sister did her hair and we got her ready about 2 hours before the ceremony thereabouts. She waited pretty patiently in the dressing room the church had, but I brought a huge bag of stuff to keep her entertained. She went down the aisle like a pro. She sat with me off to the side, but went back and stood at the altar toward the end of the ceremony. (I should the add that the ring bearer who was older, didn't do any of this. He wouldn't get his picture taken either, so it could go either way!)

My cousin's new bride was kind of miffed because DD got A LOT of attention. We tried to be VERY low key, but DD was super cute (and acted like the perfect child that she is so not), and so she got a ton of compliments. I didn't know that cousin's bride was sort of irritated until later. DD still talks about her "dream wedding" to this day and she's 7 now! HAVE FUN!!!