Just checked my email and saw one from ex (so now I have a phone number and email addy for him). In it he apologizes for not calling between 10 and noon today like he said he would, claimed that he and the baby are ill and he's alone with the baby while his wife is at work so he can't see Owen. Whatever.
He went on to say that he still thought it would be a good idea to let Owen go to Australia but he's been advised (by an imaginary lawyer, no doubt) not to sign any passport papers without a Judge's order. He goes on to say that he doesn't think that will be an issue, since there is still a lot of time before we were planning on going on that trip.
In addition, he then said that the current visitation isn't working out and he feels Owen should be spending "weeks" during the summer, spring break and winter break with him. He said that he doesn't feel we can work it out together so he will rely on a Judge to decide. It was all a very baiting email, trying to suck me in and argue with him.
I, however, will not be baited into that crap. I sent him a very short 1 sentence response that said if he felt the need to get a Judge involved then that was fine and that he should already have my address but in case he lost it he should have his lawyer send any legal papers to this address (and gave the address). That was it.
I then wrote another venting email that I did not send! I will include that here though, for venting purposes.
He went on to say that he still thought it would be a good idea to let Owen go to Australia but he's been advised (by an imaginary lawyer, no doubt) not to sign any passport papers without a Judge's order. He goes on to say that he doesn't think that will be an issue, since there is still a lot of time before we were planning on going on that trip.
In addition, he then said that the current visitation isn't working out and he feels Owen should be spending "weeks" during the summer, spring break and winter break with him. He said that he doesn't feel we can work it out together so he will rely on a Judge to decide. It was all a very baiting email, trying to suck me in and argue with him.
I, however, will not be baited into that crap. I sent him a very short 1 sentence response that said if he felt the need to get a Judge involved then that was fine and that he should already have my address but in case he lost it he should have his lawyer send any legal papers to this address (and gave the address). That was it.
I then wrote another venting email that I did not send! I will include that here though, for venting purposes.
Quote:
| I'm sorry you feel that we can't work things out between us, especially since you have never even mentioned a change in visitation to me in person. I would be more than willing to try and work things out with you if you showed any interest in Owen at all. The last time you saw Owen was in October. It's now March. It's been 5 months since you last saw him. I have bought Owen back to Michigan twice since October (Thanksgiving and right before Christmas). How much did you see him during those times? None. How many times in the last 5 months did you call to talk to Owen? None. For that matter, how many times have you called to talk to him in the last 6 years? None. How many letters have you wrote to him? None. If you really knew him, you would know that he's an excellent reader and he loves receiving mail. Let's take this weekend as an example. You claimed you didn't have to work on Friday until 4pm and you had all day Saturday off work. You saw Owen on Friday from noon until almost 3pm. You did not, for whatever reason, see him at all on Saturday or Sunday. I drove Owen 12 hours so you could spend 3 hours with him. If you didn't have to work until 4pm then why didn't you see Owen at 8am for breakfast, go somewhere to play, have lunch, and play some more before you had to work at 4? You could have spent 7 hours with him (8am-3pm). You chose to spend 3 hours. You claim that yourself and the baby weren't feeling well this morning. I have no idea whether that was true or not, but that should not have stopped you from calling to talk to Owen. You didn't even have the decency to call and let me know you weren't going to see Owen, nor did you answer the phone when I called you shortly after noon. What the h*ll makes you think you can take care of Owen all day, let alone overnight or longer? Just last summer you had Owen at the park and let him run into the d*mn road. You have also let him run to a lake where he was within inches of jumping in, while you trailed far behind. You never would have been able to catch him if he had chosen to jump in. You are lucky he chose to throw his shoe in instead of his body. You have NO IDEA about Owen and have no desire to learn. If you did, you would have been talking to me about Owen all these years. You would have been trying to learn more about Owen. You would have been talking to his doctors or therapists about ways to help Owen. In 6 years you never have talked to any doctor or therapist, not even when his therapists were 2 minutes from where you were living. You have no idea what Owen likes to eat. If you did, you would make an effort to eat places that has foods HE likes, or you would bring him foods that he likes... not eat at places YOU like. Believe it or not, OWEN comes first. Not you. But there is one thing you are right about- Owen SHOULD have been doing overnight visits with you a long time ago. If you remember, YOU are the one who chose to stay at 3 hour long visit and not move to 4 hour visits (and how do you expect to get to overnights if you don't go longer than 3 hours?). YOU are the one who chose to disappear one day 4 years ago and stop calling and stop showing up for visits. I never kept Owen from you, you chose to stop showing up. You choose to not see Owen. You choose to not call and talk to Owen, ever. Why the h*ll do you think you should have overnight or 2 week long visits with Owen if you do nothing to build a relationship with him between those visits? You don't call to talk to him between visits. You don't ask him how his day is or how school was that day. You barely see him when I do bring him to Michigan. You have no relationship with Owen, and that's your own d*mn fault. If you want to start changing that then YOU need to take steps to do that. YOU need to start calling him at least 3 or 4 times a week to talk to him (if not every day!). YOU need to start spending time with him EVERY D*MN MINUTE POSSIBLE while he is in Michigan. What the h*ll do you expect to do with him while he's with you for 2 weeks, when you are at work? Who do you plan on having watch him? ***** (ex's wife)? Someone who knows nothing about him and who he doesn't know? What about when she's at work? You certainly can't leave him with your parents (who have already stated they aren't in good enough health to even visit with him for a couple hours, let alone care for him)? Your sister (who is married to someone who has constantly lit up cigarettes in front of Owen, compromising his health)? Which brings me to another point... You know you can't have Owen in your house, since there is already a court order set up ordering he not spend any time in a house/car/etc that has smoking in it. I know you smoke (as ***** (ex's wife) stated this to me not too long ago). Whether you smoke outside or not is not even the issue, as you will carry the smoke inside the house on your clothes, which will lead it to the floors, furniture, Owen's clothes, the walls, everything. If you smoke outside and then sit in the car, the smoke will then permeate the car. If you are seriously willing to risk Owen's life in such a way, you are in no way, shape or form a "dad". A real "dad" would have quit smoking 6 years ago when Owen's first doctor said it was affecting his health. A real "dad" would ensure that NOBODY smoke around Owen. You have showed over and over again that you will not stand up for Owen. As we were standing in your parents front yard last summer with people were smoking you did NOTHING to stop them. You didn't ask them to stop, or even move. You didn't suggest we move the visit to another location. You were willing to allow Owen to be in a situation where his health was compromised. And you believe you are looking after Owen's best interest? You have a bedroom set up for Owen? Clothes? Toys? Books? A car seat? No? I suggest you start with those things, along with quitting smoking altogether, ensuring you aren't working while Owen is visiting, contacting Owen's doctors and therapists and me for information regarding Owen and how best to work with him, setting up therapists while Owen is with you in Michigan (and, of course, a way for you to pay for them) since it would not be beneficial for Owen to go weeks without therapy, spending as much time as possible with Owen when he is in Michigan AND keeping in contact with Owen between visits. Once you have aced all of those things, feel free to contact me about unsupervised visits. |
) is 390. 29 hours out of a possible 390. That's.... what.... less than 8%?
The problem for you and O if/when you get married and ex is required to pay O's medical coverage/bills you will then have to rely on him to do that, which is a crap shoot. I can only imagine that the motivation for him is one of two things; wife pushing him so that the new sibling has a relationship with O or to decrease child support by having O for many overnights per year. Clearly they have no clue about what it takes to raise your son and what it would do to any child who has virtually no relationship with their father to start spending long periods of time with him but especially a child with special needs. I am sorry you have to deal with this.
