What does homebirth look like?

[babycatcher12]

I know this is probably a dumb question around here. But I have worked as an L&D nurse for years and I have had 3 c/s. I'm planning a HBAC in August, but am having trouble visualizing what this birth might look like. I've done a ton of research and am totally comfortable with a homebirth as is DH. I know my risks, benefits, stats out the wazoo. But for some reason I'm having trouble seeing my homebirth in my mind.

I have never been at a homebirth and obviously I've never experienced one. I am really excited about a homebirth, but when I'm very much a visual kind of person. I need to know what a homebirth looks like in order for me to really start to visualize my own birth and how I'd like to prepare.

I have watched the Business of Being Born and have read Ina May's guide to childbirth several times. Are there other videos that you might recommend? How can I get my mind around my homebirth. I'm doing hypnobabies to help release fear and anxiety from my previous births, but when I get to the birth visualization part I'm really starting to struggle. I know what a natural birth looks like, but I'm having trouble making it "fit" in my mind.

Does this make sense at all? Can't someone just look into their crystal ball and tell me what mine will look like so I can plan? Sorry if this is a dumb question. Thanks for your help.

[BtotheG]

I watched dozens of youtube videos of homebirths and found them to be very helpful when I was preparing for my birth.

I really tried to keep an open mind in terms of what my birth would be like. I *prepared* the best I could, but reminded myself I couldn't *control* it. I did keep imagining how I thought it would go (what I would do during early labor, what positions I would use, etc) but I kept telling myself not to get hung up on that vision. I'm glad I went in with that mindset, because the birth did not go how I was expecting at all.

[flavorfull1]

I didn't really have a picture in the sense of where I would be, what time of day, etc. The things that I was able to visualize for my homebirth was who I wanted there and the attitude or feelings of support that I wanted from the people I would be with. I wanted there to be an air of confidence, love, peace, and support. All of my birth attendants- two sisters, my mom, DH, my doula, and my mw- were so encouraging and took my lead on how verbal or not verbal to be. What did my homebirth look like? I had all of these options for candles, music, activities to occupy my time. What ended up happening was that my water broke and I dilated to 10 cm in less than 3 hours and pushed for almost 5 hours. I didn't end up using the things I had wanted to use but I didn't miss them. I had exactly the birth I wanted. I was surrounded by the people I loved who were encouraging me. I felt completely safe to labor naked and move any way that felt right. Then, I got to squat down on my living room floor and bring my son into the world and then snuggle with my DH and baby boy on our love seat right afterward. All this to say, I had a lot of things planned: who would be there, activities, food, someone to be in charge of food for me and DH, someone in charge of knowing where things were in the house, I had someone in charge of everything so all I had to do was labor. Really, not even half of my plans were used but they were necessary to prepare me mentally to look at my home as a safe haven for birthing my son. It looked quiet, smooth, well organized, joyful, like hard work, natural, normal, like what I was supposed to be doing with those people at that time on that day. It was perfect and beautiful. Hope this helps a little.

[mamaspirit]

I have also worked as an L&D nurse and homebirth is quite a bit different than hospital birth. My last birth was an attempted HBAC. I labored at home for several hours before baby turned sideways and I had to transfer for another c-section. I am now planning a HBA2C. I assisted a homebirth midwife for a couple years and have been privalaged to be a part of that side of birth.

I think for me, the biggest difference is, that you have control over what you do while in labor. You are not on a monitor, you get to eat what you want whenever you want, actually most midwives encourage you to eat while in labor. You can go wherever you want in your home, wherever it is comfortable for you. You can tell your midwife to go away for awhile if you want some space. You can have private, intimate time with your partner, which is often encouraged to help move labor along. It is not uncommon for people laboring at home to be allowed to go days and weeks dilated several cms or with ruptured membranes. You do not have to have an IV, not even a saline lock unless it is medically indicated usually only needed after birth. It is very common to give birth in the water. You can have your children present with you. Depending on your midwife, most midwives tend to be way more hands off than OB's... way less cervical checks, they tend to do whatever they need to do in whatever position you are in. You can deliver your baby in whatever position you feel most comfortable. You don't have to push until you feel the urge, unless they need to get the baby out. Your baby is immediately put on your chest. They don't cut the cord until it stops pulsing. They usually wait for your placenta to come out naturally. And than you are put to bed in your own bed with baby and partner and other children if you want to bond as a family.

So what I am really saying is that your homebirth can look like whatever you want. Where do you see yourself giving birth in your house? Are you having a birthing tub? Do you want your children present? Are you having a doula? Who else is going to be there? What kind of food would you like to have available for you to eat? Do you have a private yard that you would like to spend some time in? Do you want to have the option of taking a walk in your neighborhood? What would you like to wear?

It's in your hands! Isn't that so awesome?

I wish you luck and a beautiful HBA3C! Have you gotten in touch with your local ICAN chapter? They can offer wonderful support and good resources!

[ColwynsMommy]

Well, I've had a homebirth, and I still don't know what my upcoming birthing will be like. It's difficult to accept, but the reality is that you just have no idea of what's going to happen, and it's really hard to plan.

I do Hypnobabies, too, and last time, I visualized the birth including some laboring outside, decorating our altar with lots of flowers, spending lots of time in the birth pool, and having my whole family around, with my midwife or me catching. Not much of that actually happened. It was a wonderful birth, and everything that I never knew I wanted, but it was so different from what I had pictured. For me, there was a lot of prodromal labor which led to two sleepless nights before a wham-bam one hour of real labor, including pushing, and nobody was present except me and my husband. The one place I didn't want to give birth was in the bathroom, specifically the toilet, and that's where she was born. I'm totally okay with it and think it was great, but the point is.. you never know what's going to happen.

My advice for doing your Hypnobabies visualization is to avoid specifics if that's hard for you. I do picture lots of specific scenarios for my upcoming birth, but my 'official' visualization goes something like, "Labor begins in the early morning after a good night's sleep. I spend early labor showering and having some breakfast, while feeling free to assume whatever position feels good during contractions. Soon labor picks up and progresses quickly, but leaves us plenty of time for my midwife to arrive. I listen to my body, remember to relax, and use whatever coping rituals feel right at the time. My midwife shows up with just enough time to set up her supplies before I begin to push. I remain calm and relaxed while pushing, and the baby is born quickly, with my husband and children watching." I elaborate a little, but you see how you can be vague while specifying what's important to you.

Watch lots of videos on YouTube.. I found that really helpful, seeing what other women have experiened.

[JamieCatheryn]

For me it looked a lot like normal life at home for a long time, except with me sitting and moaning through contractions every so often, everybody else doing the chores all day and waiting on me.

[heidibgg]

Does your midwife have a collection of dvds? I borrowed some from ours, but I also watched some on Youtube.

I had a midwife assisted hospital birth 3 years ago and am in early labor (yay!) now for a planned home birth.

Best of luck!

[loveneverfails]

What has really helped me visualize a good, normal birth for this pregnancy is to go through assembling my birth kit. Being able to sequentially look at things and prepare for them was very helpful.

[claddaghmom]

Youtube!

This is my current fave video. It is just what I see in my head when I imagine my birth...only I hope to have our DD with us, too:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/vid...v=122223605847

[ShwarmaQueen]

Wow how exciting for you!

[bclare]

If you have netflix you can also get Orgasmic Birth, which has a lot of nice homebirths in some detail.

[babycatcher12]

Thank you all for your replies! I have seen lots of "natural" births, but struggle with knowing how it will look. And I know there is no way of knowing that ahead of time.
ColwynsMommy that's exactly what I needed to help me with my visualizations in hypnobabies. I think I've been focusing too much on the details and trying to visualize every little detail.
I'm having trouble knowing who will be at my birth. Obviously DH, doula and MW, but my mother lives out of state, my SIL is due the week after me and lives out of state so she won't be here. We are fairly new here and I don't have any friends I would consider close enough to invite to our birth. We're trying to decide if big brothers should stay (they will be 7, 5, 20 months at birth).
I have been watching some youtube videos which seems to help. Something else that has really put my mind at ease is to read the thread "what made it amazing" it's so inspiring and calming to me.
I haven't even asked my MW if she has videos I can borrow, I'm sure she does. Thanks for the idea!
Thanks again for your replies!

[S.Elise]

For me, homebirth looked like a bunch of women huddled around another woman (me) helping her do a difficult but totally routine and normal job. I say "routine", because what was the most helpful for me was my MW, doula and husband all acting like what I was going through, while painful and difficult, was totally normal and great (as opposed to an emergency or a medical procedure). The pain was normal, and good, and by doing what felt good to me (walking around, drinking, getting in the shower, squatting, and yes, yelling my head off at times) I was acting just the way I should be and the way other women in the past had acted.

For me, that was the beauty of HB...no one made a big deal about it or got upset or yelled or told me what to do. It was just a normal part of life, as I believe birth should be treated!

GOOD LUCK!!

[Eaglevoice]

This was me going through transition...using hypnobirthing techniques...One of my favorite pics of my birth.

[isras1]

Originally Posted by babycatcher12

I have been watching some youtube videos which seems to help. Something else that has really put my mind at ease is to read the thread "what made it amazing" it's so inspiring and calming to me.

I LOVE that thread, I even shared it with my husband.

Originally Posted by claddaghmom

Youtube!

This is my current fave video. It is just what I see in my head when I imagine my birth...only I hope to have our DD with us, too:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/video/vid...v=122223605847

This is now my favorite video as well, it was absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

[Therese's Mommy]

I had the same problem. After 2 hospital inductions I was planning a hb last fall and had the hardest time trying to visualize it. Every time I tried to visualize my hb my mind put me in a hospital So, I never was able to visualize it at all. And perhaps for me that was a good thing. I had no expectations or preconceived notions. My hb was wonderful and easy (about 5.5 hours of labor and only maybe 30 minutes or so that were really intense and just one long push to get her out). I am a control freak but since I had no idea how things were going to go and no expectations and preconceived notions I was able to just let things go and my body did what it needed to do

[GoBecGo]

Walk around your home. Look at the familiar areas you use every day, your kitchen table, your bed, your loo, your sofa.

And imagine. Imagine you sitting back-to-front on a dining chair with a MW on one side and DH on the other drinking some nice coffee or tea, and every now and then resting your head on the back of the chair to breathe slowly as you have a contraction.

Imagine yourself in the bath, perhaps DH is directing the shower onto your lower back for you, or maybe an older child is playing with rubber ducks my your feet as you wallow in the warm water and relax relax relax through a contraction.

Imagine you squatting against your sofa, with your DH supporting you from behind and your smiling midwife helping you to feel your baby's head oozing slowly onto your perineum.

Imagine yourself and your DH lying on your bed, your fresh little newborn on your chest suckling, your MW sitting beside you and all drinking tea and eating hot buttered toast (or drinking champagne and eating cake - whatever you like!).

Practice. Every day, throughout the day, which ever room you are in, whatever you are doing, imagine yourself there, in labour, full of excitement that your baby is on its way, and coping beautifully with the challenging sensations of labour. Picture your triumphant birth in every room, in every way you can, until your head believes the truth - that is IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

[dogmom327]

For me it was about the lack of drama. I just worked through my contractions (standing, sitting, squatting, etc). DH went about quietly setting things up. The MW's came in quietly and were just suddenly there but blending in all at the same time. Everything and everyone was very calm (except me for a few parts). There weren't any unnecessary conversations, opinions, etc. No one told me what to do and any suggestions were made quietly and gently. Afterward the calm continued and I got to climb in my own bed and use my own bathroom.