My son is ten, almost eleven years old. He's in grade five. He rode his bike to school today just to hang out, like he does sometimes, like a lot of kids do. He came back very unhappy, near tears.
There was this boy there who, ds explains, is always mean to him. This time when my son showed up the boy said, "What are you doing here, Stupid?"
Ds explained to me that this started two years ago when they were on the same Little League team. I gather that the boy started calling him names back then. Ds described how there was this time when they were both on 3rd base, the boy was covering it, and ds had just run to 3rd. The inning ended and the boy started to run back to the benches, turned around and said, "Oh right, I forgot" and stomped on ds's foot.
I said, "What a pathetic, sad kid" to ds.
Ds says this year they had an assembly about bullying. The principle said the reason bullies bully is because they can. I don't even know what that means, but it seems monumentally unhelpful. Is my son supposed to take comfort from that? Maybe that's supposed to mean it's not personal?
Anyway, I told ds that I learned that sometimes kids bully other kids because they have been bullied by someone else: an older sibling, a parent, a neighbor. I know it doesn't make the situation go away, but maybe it will help him understand partly why this happened.
My son is like me and he is awkward. He's utterly sincere and kind of nerdy. It's only going to get worse.
Anyway, do you have any insight for me? How would you help your child in a situation like this?
And has anyone read books about bullying and getting along that were truly helpful?
There was this boy there who, ds explains, is always mean to him. This time when my son showed up the boy said, "What are you doing here, Stupid?"
Ds explained to me that this started two years ago when they were on the same Little League team. I gather that the boy started calling him names back then. Ds described how there was this time when they were both on 3rd base, the boy was covering it, and ds had just run to 3rd. The inning ended and the boy started to run back to the benches, turned around and said, "Oh right, I forgot" and stomped on ds's foot.
I said, "What a pathetic, sad kid" to ds.
Ds says this year they had an assembly about bullying. The principle said the reason bullies bully is because they can. I don't even know what that means, but it seems monumentally unhelpful. Is my son supposed to take comfort from that? Maybe that's supposed to mean it's not personal?
Anyway, I told ds that I learned that sometimes kids bully other kids because they have been bullied by someone else: an older sibling, a parent, a neighbor. I know it doesn't make the situation go away, but maybe it will help him understand partly why this happened.My son is like me and he is awkward. He's utterly sincere and kind of nerdy. It's only going to get worse.
Anyway, do you have any insight for me? How would you help your child in a situation like this?
And has anyone read books about bullying and getting along that were truly helpful?
. I pretty certain my older ds will be like this and I am very worried. It's part of the reason I feel like I want to homeschool but on the other hand I feel like I want him to be exposed to all kinds of people? Not sure. Anyway, I'm really sorry your son has to deal with this. 
" by Barbara Coloroso. She's also written some other classic AP parenting books so I would expect this one to be really good, also.
Yes, I asked ds if he wants me to talk to his teacher or not, and he said yes, please. I clearly remember the pain, the let-down I felt when my mom minimized the teasing I experienced at school.
