Night weaning

[YayJennie]

Talk to me about night weaning a toddler. Every single person I have talked to has used CIO in order to get their babe to sleep through the night without needing to nurse There must be gentle ways to go about night weaning right? Or do you just wait for them to night wean on their own?

I'm mainly curious because I'm worried about my milk drying up while I'm pregnant, and my 12 month old son still nurses 1-2 times during the night. He wakes and I swear he is hungry, not just needing comfort (won't take a pacifier, which he normally will to fall asleep). But my ped is saying I can night wean and don't need to supplement. But if he's hungry, I'm really not comfortable not giving him something to eat! What are your views on this?

I had no idea what forum to put this in, so if it needs to be moved, sorry! I just figured it would get the most traffic here.

[chipper26]

I haven't done it yet, but I've heard some good things about the Jay Gordon nightweaning approach... many people modify it somewhat. Another thing I was thinking about was using a bit of the No Cry Sleep Solution. The Pantley Pull-off (when you get your babe to get used to falling asleep without nursing - you unlatch your LO right when they are super drowsy and about to go to sleep.) That approach may make your LO rely less on the nursing to get back to sleep.

That's all I've got. I've been putting it off and I may not need to do anything drastic b/c she's been sleeping longer stretches, even during the horrific 2 year molar teething.

[lifeguard]

We used the Dr. Jay Gordon method for nightweaning & went very well (ds was 14 months at the time). The big thing I found is that is honestly gets thirsty in the middle of the night, I offer him some water & he goes right back to sleep - but I'm often amazed at how much he drinks.

[spmamma]

I night weaned DD when she was about 20 months. I was pregnant at the time and my supply was most definitely drying up, which may have made the process easier on her since there wasn't much milk in the first place.

As to how I did it, I simply told her when we laid down for bed that she could nurse to sleep but that would be her last boobs until morning. She woke up in the middle of the night asking for it for about two or three nights, and each time I gently told her that she could have it in the morning.

No tears. Had there been, I would have probably waited longer to night wean.

Who knows why it was so easy. It was probably a combination of age (she was much older than your DS is), no milk and personality.

ETA: For me personally, 12 months seemed a little to young to night wean. That being said, I completely understand how pregnancy can increase your discomfort and therefore your desire to night wean. That's why I decided to night weaned. I probably would have allowed her to nurse at night longer if I hadn't been pregnant.

[Catherine12]

Two of my dc nightweaned on their own (at 9 months or a year) but one of them, ds, we intentionally nightweaned. He was still nursing 3 or 4 times a night at 9 months and we decided we had to get him to cut down for my sanity's sake.

When he woke up, if I went to him he would scream until I nursed him - even if I tried other comforting methods, it didn't work. But if dh went to him, he would allow dh to soothe him to sleep by rocking, patting, etc., since he knew dh can't nurse him. So we had dh take him for one of his night-wakings, while I continued nursing him at his other wakings. After awhile, he got easier to put back to sleep for dh's waking, and then dropped that waking - I think that since he wasn't used to eating at that time, he didn't have a reason to wake up.

Then we repeated this process for another night-waking. Eventually, we had eliminated all his night-wakings. This was a gradual process, and took months, but we did accomplish it without using CIO.

This probably wouldn't work for a baby who is used to getting bottles from the non-nursing parent at night.

If you're worried about your milk supply, you could try to nurse more frequently during the day to compensate.

[summerforever1977]

I waited until my milk dried up in pregnancy to night wean my son since at that point it was comfort instead of nutritional, plus he was 20 months old at the time and much older. I started by refusing to nurse him when he awoke at night and instead offering him water which I kept by the bed. Sometimes he would cry for literally less than a minute and then roll over and go to sleep and sometimes he would drink some water and go back to sleep. Then, when he stopped asking for mama-milk at night I started refusing to nurse him to sleep, instead offering cuddles and water. He protested mildly (less than a minute) and always went for the cuddles. It took less than two weeks to be fully done and I was in utter disbelief about how easy night weaning was for us since we had done mama milk to go to sleep and several times a night since birth. I honestly thought it would be excruciating and leave us with many sleepless nights and endless crying. I think having no milk was key but maybe he was just developmentally ready.

By the way, he does sleep through the night most days of the week, but will still wake a couple of nights a week for some water so nightweaning doesn't necessarily = sleeping through the night although it made a huge difference for us. He did not STTN once until we nightweaned.

Good luck to you!

[YayJennie]

Thank you all for the replies! I'll check Jay Gordon and also appreciate the water suggestion. I do think every baby is different, and ready to night wean at different times. So this "at 12 months they don't need it anymore" frustrates me. I can tell my son is not ready to night wean. So I guess I'll just keep doing child-led and see where it goes. I'm not wanting to wean for my sake...I've mastered the art of sleep nursing But I just don't want to dry up and have my son be not ready and not know what to do or whether to supplement or what. I guess it's not like you dry up overnight. I'm just worried pregnant momma, and I want my son to nurse as long as he needs to!

[spirit4ever]

Hi,
I'm on working on nightweaning my 3rd, and have done it twice already, with very little crying.

DD is 20months now though, and extremely verbal, I started about 4 nights ago explaining that there are no nums during the night (i'll still nurse to sleep though prob until she's close to 3) and that she needs to wait till the sun is up. Its going very well... except that the sun isnt coming up as early as i'd like it too! So tonight we are going to see how a nightlight on a timer works! I've set it for 5:30am and she can nurse as soon as it comes on!

I also wanted to mention though that i did try to nightwean her when she was about 16 months, and it didn't go nearly as well so i stopped and waited to try again...

And it was easier nightweaning my first ds when I was pregnant with ds2 because my milk had all dried up!

good luck, 12 months is still very tiny... and he may just not be ready!

[NJKim]

I just night weaned my son at 21 months a month ago and I'm getting even less sleep now because sometimes he just won't go back to sleep - it was so easy with nursing!!! There are lots of reasons they wake up, thirst, hunger, teething, cold/hot, could be lots of things. I'm hoping after these last 2 canines come through, he will stop waking 4-5 times at night, but I've come to terms with the fact that I just don't have a good sleeper.

I agree that 12 months is still a little young, at least closer to 2, they can understand what's going on. I tell him the milks are going night-night until morning - he doesn't like it, but he understands.

[Louisep]

Another rec for Jay Gordon!

[MacroMama]

I nightweaned our DS around 20 months. What I did was I would nurse him in the living room before bedtime. I did this in the living room so that he wouldn't fall asleep. Then I would cuddle him to sleep. At the beginning he would try to nurse, but eventually got the hint. We did the same during the night and had no issues.

Good luck!

[justKate]

Originally Posted by Louisep

Another rec for Jay Gordon!

And a 3rd!

DD is 13 mos. We've taken elements from NCSS and Dr. Gordon, and now she nurses only at her bedtime (but not to sleep), and once during the night (I think she gets thirsty, because i sure do!). Dramatic improvement, but you have to be willing to be VERY consistent with it. Good luck!