a little about me and my situation... just happy and want 2 share - Page 2

[SaraBravo]

Originally Posted by lawmama1984

I'm not going to comment on the whole relationship part of this post, because...well I'm just not, other than to wish you well.

But I have been doing quite a bit of thinking about this post since you replied to Karen a couple days ago. I have been thinking of the best way to word what I'm going to say. I want this to come across as gently and caring as I can, because that is the spirit I'm intending to say what I have to say in. Please take it that way. I think we all come to these boards to learn and grow from each other, which is why I even feel compelled to say anything.

Again, please take this in the spirit I intend it. I would like to gently remind you that these are the TTC boards. I know you were intending to be kind with your reply, and I totally understand that, but just try to imagine how you'd feel if any of the repliers to your post had said "Well, maybe God doesn't want you to have more kids with this man, and at least you already have your 2." Even if they were being sincere, as I know you were, it still stings, kwim?

Again, I am not trying to be rude or mean and I hope that you understand where I'm coming from. I have been going back and forth on whether to even post this, but it has really been on my mind, so I had to say something.

I really didn't mean to say it that way and didn't mean to come off like a total b. I appologize for that comment. Its not what what I men. I just wanted to be comforting. And say that she had two wonderful blessings should things not go as planned. That's how I see things for myself. If another pregnancies happens at least I have my two beautiful babies and SO's handsome sweet sons to smother with all my love.

I am so sorry to hurt you karen. Please accecpt my appology.

[lawmama1984]

Sara, I absolutely know you meant it to be comforting. I didn't want to make you feel bad at all, which is why I really sat and thought about how to say what I had to say in as gentle and kind a way as I could. I hope you understand that. And I don't even know if Karen specifically was hurt by it...I just know how I felt when I read it and I just wanted you to be aware of how it *might* have come off. This is the internet and things do get lost in translation, so I just want to be sure you understand I am not trying to hurt your feelings at all with my comment. I just want to make sure we are all being considerate of everyone's feelings

Ps you did not come off as a total "b" with that comment IMO

[SaraBravo]

Originally Posted by mama2toomany

I just think this poster had good news to share.. I am not seeing any question from her that would make me think she wants me to express my feelings on a quick whirlwind romance.. I think she just wanted to shout to the roof tops that she is in love, and happy and has come from some pretty rough places to find peace.


I am very happy for you poster. I got married when I was 16 to a man I knew since I was 11.. then I got married to a man I knew for 2 months.. both times It was the best decision I could make at the time. I have no regrets. I am now married 6plus years to a man I lived with for a year before we were married. I love God as you do, but do not think that waiting till we were married was practical, I mean, we had both been to the prom already... kwim?

Life is good and I am happy for you, and pray you get your baby and can live a joyous life with your wonderful blended family.

Thank you for being so sweet to me.

[SaraBravo]

Originally Posted by lawmama1984

Sara, I absolutely know you meant it to be comforting. I didn't want to make you feel bad at all, which is why I really sat and thought about how to say what I had to say in as gentle and kind a way as I could. I hope you understand that. And I don't even know if Karen specifically was hurt by it...I just know how I felt when I read it and I just wanted you to be aware of how it *might* have come off. This is the internet and things do get lost in translation, so I just want to be sure you understand I am not trying to hurt your feelings at all with my comment. I just want to make sure we are all being considerate of everyone's feelings

Ps you did not come off as a total "b" with that comment IMO

You are the sweetest!

[Jenne]

I'm sorry my post came off as "hateful". I was not coming from a place of hate, mean spiritedness, or even negativity. I was coming from a place of acknowledging that when you have the right relationship you can know it on day 1 or more. I was trying to bring up some questions for you to think about. They were meant sincerely and gently. I post all my posts from a place of friendship and a spirit of good will.

Peace!
Jenne

[HulaJenn]

I also think it's rude to lump us all as "hateful strangers" when really it is out of concern and not hate. We aren't trying to ruin your happiness by suggesting getting to know someone better. No one is trying to rain on your parade or blaspheme God....this is a support forum. Half these ladies are like my second family! It doesn't mean we have to agree with decisions others make, and we can certainly comment and give advice based on our own experiences or as an observer with the info we have been given.

[SaraBravo]

Originally Posted by HulaJenn

I also think it's rude to lump us all as "hateful strangers" when really it is out of concern and not hate. We aren't trying to ruin your happiness by suggesting getting to know someone better. No one is trying to rain on your parade or blaspheme God....this is a support forum. Half these ladies are like my second family! It doesn't mean we have to agree with decisions others make, and we can certainly comment and give advice based on our own experiences or as an observer with the info we have been given.

Perhaps it was rude of me to say "hateful strangers" but that's exactly how I felt. I felt viciously (sp?)attacked when only trying show the world how happy in love and grateful I am. So I apologize for hurting your feelings by lumping you in that catagory.

Do not think I haven't thought a million thoughts and questions like you suggest. I have and so had SO and guess what we talked and talk and still are talking about all those. Omg was that something too adult to do for a 23yo who has fallen in love with a 32yo father of 2 in just a few months?

If you don't support me that's fine with me. I didn't ask for support or advice. All the "advice" I have gotten about this subject we have already thought about and talked about and came up with our own ideas for our own family. Our family is our #1 concern.

Thankyou for wanting to help. It came from the heart I'm sure. Ppl on here aren't going to change who I am or what I want to do. If I am unsure of something and want more info and advice I will make my decision after hearing everything I need to hear but if I'm not going in with the mindset that I want my mind changed it won't happen.

You can not change someones mind when you attack them. It will only make them defensive and stand firmer in their beliefs. Attacking someone and telling them how wrong and basically how stupid and immature they are will not make them open up to you and follow any guidance you may have to offer. There is some advice to every "rude" "hateful" person who ansered this post.

[SaraBravo]

Originally Posted by HulaJenn

Well i think that being that you aren't in high school and having been through what you have been, time frame isn't necessarily an issue. I do think that staying and continuing to try to make work a relationship with an abusive boyfriend may indicate not so smart decision making, which should maybe make you more cautious, especially when children are involved, about another man you are committing to. I trust the Lord too, but it doesn't mean I am not gonna wear my seatbelt or run blindly into traffic becasue I think the Lord will save me. You still have to make smart choices using the brain the Lord gave you.
But you weren't asking for advice, so congrats on finding happiness and I hope it works out the way you envision.

And he was my husband not a bf. U do not know everything behind why I went back. 1 I had no where to live. My two small chikdren and I had to live in the living room. Of my moms 2bd 2bath apt. She and her bf had a room my brother had the other room. I needed to finish some business down there and he truely was sorry and wanted to work things out. I just couldn't trust him and had really bad anxiety adter "the incident".

[AdalynsMama]

SaraBravo, I genuinely do not think that anyone was trying to be rude or hateful towards you. I certainly do not think they were trying to attack you. I CAN understand why would feel that way though. Try not to look at it in such a defensive way. I'm sure that all posts were made out of care and genuine concern for you and your family. You mentioned that if you had a friend in a similar situation you would react the same way. I doubt that would be because you want to attack her or be rude or hateful. We are all here to support one another. That doesn't mean that we all have to agree. Best of luck to you and Michael!!

[HulaJenn]

I am sorry if you felt attacked. Personally I was not trying to do so and like I said was not wishing you ill will etc. Like you said, we don't know the whole situation but people will offer up advice out of concern with the little info given. (even though I know you were just trying to share your joy and not asking for advice). For myself...I was in a relationship that was not good for 4 years (although not married, but engaged) and sometimes when you are so consumed by the "love" you are blinded and can't see faults. I could only see them in retrospect after major disaster ended the relationship. So when i hear things like your story, I can only really realte on the personal level based on my own tragic experience. So that is why the cautious advice even if you have already talked about it and thunk it, I offer it anyway.
I do hope the best for you!