Quick vent, am I wrong to be upset?

[sapientia]

yeah, I haven't really been on in a while-super busy.
So me and the kids drive out to my moms to pick up a few things we needed from when we moved...I asked mom on the phone 'hey do you want me to bring my camera?' She jumps at it and says 'oh yes! I need to get some new pics' I remark 'yeah, you haven't had any of you and the kids in a long time' and she says 'oh, I meant I need some pics of my animals.'
grrrrrrr
My mom lives in a farm like situation, she is an animal fanatic. She has two dogs and a gazillion cats, and she takes care of my grandmother's cows and bull that she treats better than humans. She didn't want pictures of her and the kids, she wanted freaking cat pictures.
I'm not really surprised-she always wants pics of her and my brother, and her and the animals-me and my kids? nope.
I am so used to this that I can't even work up a good 'mad'. I just think it's awful. This is why I don't talk to her very often at all. I didn't say anything, it's just not worth it. Besides, I guess I'm saving it for the day it's appropriate. I dunno. (insert sad face here.)
Would anyone else be upset?

[Runnerbean]

Yes I would definitely be sad and disappointed about this mama

[mamalisa]

I think that there are some people that just plain old like animals better than people. I don't get it, but I know people like that. I'm sorry you're hurt, but I'd try to just chalk it up to "that's just the way she is" and try not to let it bother you. File it under "things that are weird about my mom".

[SoulCakes]

I don't think I'd be upset. It depends on the dynamic you already have with your mom - does she regularly care less about your kids than her pets? Would she love pictures of her and the kids but also really wants new pictures of her cats? Her wanting new photos of her pets in itself wouldn't bother me, but I'd be sad to be reminded me that she doesn't really care about my children in general.

If she really does love your kids, then just let it go. People get excited about their family, which in her case includes her plethora of animals. And some people don't put that much emphasis on having photos of themselves with the children - I think I have three photos of me and my daughter together (but tons of just my daughter!). This really doesn't bother me.

Another thing I've noticed since I've had kids... my mom stayed at home with us while we were little and invested a lot into raising me and my sister. With the grandkids, she's a little more 'eh'. She totally adores them, of course, and loves to see them, but she has the attitude that she did her part and now she gets to live her own life, you know? And that's fine with me - I'll totally be living it up too once my kids are good and grown. Other grandmothers are more grandkids-grandkids-grandkids - and that's fine too! But you can't make someone feel that way, and they shouldn't have to.

Sorry if I'm missing more of the big picture; I'm just working with what you wrote!

[sapientia]

Originally Posted by SoulCakes

I don't think I'd be upset. It depends on the dynamic you already have with your mom - does she regularly care less about your kids than her pets? Would she love pictures of her and the kids but also really wants new pictures of her cats? Her wanting new photos of her pets in itself wouldn't bother me, but I'd be sad to be reminded me that she doesn't really care about my children in general.

If she really does love your kids, then just let it go. People get excited about their family, which in her case includes her plethora of animals. And some people don't put that much emphasis on having photos of themselves with the children - I think I have three photos of me and my daughter together (but tons of just my daughter!). This really doesn't bother me.

Another thing I've noticed since I've had kids... my mom stayed at home with us while we were little and invested a lot into raising me and my sister. With the grandkids, she's a little more 'eh'. She totally adores them, of course, and loves to see them, but she has the attitude that she did her part and now she gets to live her own life, you know? And that's fine with me - I'll totally be living it up too once my kids are good and grown. Other grandmothers are more grandkids-grandkids-grandkids - and that's fine too! But you can't make someone feel that way, and they shouldn't have to.

Sorry if I'm missing more of the big picture; I'm just working with what you wrote!

Great thoughts, thank you!
Really it's a long line of super favoritism with her-my brother, her animals (she freely admits she loves her animals more than me)
She does 'love' the kids, but she has never once babysat them-doesn't come by for birthdays (except for the rare one) Now that I live an hour and a half away she will never come out for parties-she's just more into her own life.
I have sort of learned to let it go, but every now and again she will pull some nonsense that just leaves me shaking my head!