To wake or not to wake for breast feeding?

[organicpapayamama]

So Ive heard both ends of the spectrum on this. Mostly I hear that when you have your new baby you should be waking the baby through the night to feed roughly every 2-3 hours (thats if your baby doesnt wake first). Ive heard of some babies being great sleepers right from the get go and parents dont want to wake the baby to feed. I personally feel that you should wake the baby at least in the very beginning to establish that breast feeding relationship/ schedule and supply. But when is it ok to let your baby sleep through the night? One theory I heard was once the baby has gained back to their birth weight it should be ok. Ive also heard everything between 3-8 months. What are your experiences? what advice do you have? I know every child is different so I thought I would see what you mamas now on the matter.

[Mrs-Mama]

I had a preemie the first time around, so I'll skip to DD. I set my alarm for 5 hours after a feed in the middle of the night, figuring that I would want to feed her if it had been that long. She always beat the alarm though! I stopped setting my alarm after she stopped losing weight and started gaining.

[PotreroHill]

I set my alarm for every 3 hours at night in the very beginning. My pedi told me that after he gained back his birth weight I didn't have to wake him up to feed.

[Bokonon]

I've always read that when they have regained their birth weight, you can let them set the pace, still making sure you are nursing at least 8 times in 24 hours (preferably 10+ in the first few weeks) and making sure there are sufficient wet and poopy diapers.

[MeepyCat]

The advice to wake the baby every 2-3 hours for months on end strikes me as one of those pieces of "helpful" advice that convinces mothers to throw in the towel on breast feeding. If I thought I wasn't going to get more than a three hour stretch of sleep at night for eight months, I would probably inform my partner (with some emphasis and possibly some violence) that he would be getting up at three a.m. to give a bottle.

I don't recall ever having had to wake DS to feed in the middle of the night. He did have a six hour stretch of sleep once, fairly early on, but it didn't happen again for months. DD was premature, but once she came home it was never necessary to wake her during the night to eat. If she slept longer than four hours during the day, I got a little worried, but again, this didn't happen often. It is my experience that getting a baby to nurse when s/he'd rather be sleeping is an exercise in frustration. IMO, it's not worth the effort unless you have a specific reason for concern. If the baby is premature or jaundiced or whatever, sure, make the effort. If not, you might as well both sleep.

When we talk about feeding infants, we often give the advice "feed the baby, not the clock." This is still true at night. It is especially true because sleep deprivation can be really nasty stuff. Getting as much rest as you can is really important for your health and your sanity.

[Llyra]

I would wake a baby to nurse during the night if:
1. baby was still under birthweight
2. baby was jaundiced or had other health issues that made baby likely to be excessively sleepy, including if mom is on meds that have a sedative effect
3. baby was having trouble gaining weight at a healthy rate
4. baby was nursing fewer than 10 times in 24 hours (until 4 months) or fewer than 8 times after that age
5. mom is repeatedly getting plugged ducts, or is prone to mastitis, or is uncomfortably engorged
6. baby is away from mom for more than a few hours during the day
7. baby is less than about 6 pounds
8. baby isn't wetting or dirtying diapers, or mom has some other reason to suspect low milk supply

I would stop waking a baby once baby is free of jaundice, gaining weight at a steady rate, wetting diapers, and waking frequently to nurse during the day. I would only continue to wake a baby past the newborn period if baby was with another caregiver for most of the day (because of mom's milk supply needing the stimulation) or if there are supply issues or health problems.

I think though that I'd wake a baby younger than 3 or 4 months after about 6 hours, just because I worry about the effect on milk supply during the period of time when supply is being established. Or I might let baby sleep, and plan for a midnight pumping session.

[blessedwithboys]

ds1 was sleepy, and slow to gain, so i woke him during the day for feeds, but as soon as the sun went down he was wide awake. ds2 had a much better sleep pattern and never needed to be woken to nurse. both slept throught the night at 24 mos. i cant imagine ever having to wake a baby at night.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Llyra

I would wake a baby to nurse during the night if:
1. baby was still under birthweight
2. baby was jaundiced or had other health issues that made baby likely to be excessively sleepy, including if mom is on meds that have a sedative effect
3. baby was having trouble gaining weight at a healthy rate
4. baby was nursing fewer than 10 times in 24 hours (until 4 months) or fewer than 8 times after that age
5. mom is repeatedly getting plugged ducts, or is prone to mastitis, or is uncomfortably engorged
6. baby is away from mom for more than a few hours during the day
7. baby is less than about 6 pounds
8. baby isn't wetting or dirtying diapers, or mom has some other reason to suspect low milk supply

I would stop waking a baby once baby is free of jaundice, gaining weight at a steady rate, wetting diapers, and waking frequently to nurse during the day. I would only continue to wake a baby past the newborn period if baby was with another caregiver for most of the day (because of mom's milk supply needing the stimulation) or if there are supply issues or health problems.

I think though that I'd wake a baby younger than 3 or 4 months after about 6 hours, just because I worry about the effect on milk supply during the period of time when supply is being established. Or I might let baby sleep, and plan for a midnight pumping session.

thanks for the info. My concerns are the two bolded parts. Unfortunately I will not be able to stay home with baby for as long as I had hoped and will probably have to go back to work at 2-3 months postpartum. I had a horrible time with breast feeding with ds that lead to nipple confusion, drop in supply and ultimately giving in to formula (not to mention me feeling like a failure as a mom). I am determined to be successful this time around no matter what. My concern is establishing and keeping up my milk supply. so that brings me to the first bolded line.... baby will be away from me full time once I go back to work... at 2-3 months old would the be considered ok to wake during the night? (that is still newborn period right?)

[Llyra]

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

thanks for the info. My concerns are the two bolded parts. Unfortunately I will not be able to stay home with baby for as long as I had hoped and will probably have to go back to work at 2-3 months postpartum. I had a horrible time with breast feeding with ds that lead to nipple confusion, drop in supply and ultimately giving in to formula (not to mention me feeling like a failure as a mom). I am determined to be successful this time around no matter what. My concern is establishing and keeping up my milk supply. so that brings me to the first bolded line.... baby will be away from me full time once I go back to work... at 2-3 months old would the be considered ok to wake during the night? (that is still newborn period right?)

In your circumstances, with a younger baby who will be in someone else's care for most of the day, I would definitely take steps to protect your supply. First of all, I'd consider bedsharing. A baby who's next to your body all night is more likely to wake to feed anyway, and feeding becomes easier if you don't have to get up. That's especially important for you because you'll want to be as rested as you can during the day. I would also make sure your caregiver understood how to feed baby during the day in a way that would minimize the risk of baby refusing the breast-- using low-flow nipples even past the newborn period, limiting the amount offered to baby to about an ounce to an ounce and a half an hour, using a cup or syringe to feed if baby has trouble going from bottle back to breast, etc. You can look at kellymom.com for lots of information about that. And yeah, if you do wind up with a "good sleeper," I would plan on waking baby at least twice during the night. Again, that's a lot easier if you're cosleeping.

If you can master side-lying nursing, you may not even really need to wake. If you sleep topless, and keep baby skin-to-skin, baby will likely by a few months old be able to nurse and go back to sleep with you having to do no more than help baby get latched and maybe put a rolled blanket behind baby for support. You'll want to practice that while you're still home with baby-- it can take time to learn how to nurse in that position.

Best of luck! I also had a failed breastfeeding experience with my first, and when the twins were born, I had a lot of anxiety, but we went on to nurse into toddlerhood with very little trouble. You can do this!

If nipple confusion does arise-- it can be overcome! I fought nipple confusion with my DS, and we got him back on the breast. It wasn't easy, but it only took a week and he was back on track.

[jecombs]

I went back to work when my DD was 3 mo. old. I didn't have to wake her to feed at night... she did that on her own. If your milk supply seems good, baby is happy and gaining weight, then I wouldn't bother to wake him/her. It's more than likely that the baby will wake you, though! My DD loved nursing so much that she started doing some partial reverse-cycling after I went back to work.

[cheryllynn]

Baby always woke every 2-3 hours for the first few weeks. It wasn't until she was 5 weeks old that she started sleeping 4-5 hours a night.

I never wanted to wake her up, but once she started sleeping longer, I was incredibly uncomfortable. I wish I would have pumped back then, but instead, I'd wake baby after being very engorged after being torn between waking a sleeping baby and relief from engorgement.

After 3 months, she was STTN and I woke up to pump at 3 a.m. to relieve pressure. I am very glad I did for a few reasons:
1. I had my own stash of frozen breast milk - handy for emergencies
2. I kept my milk supply up
3. I have a stash now that my milk supply is in the crapper

I have just started giving up pumping at 3 a.m. because I'm only getting 1 ounce.

[organicpapayamama]

Originally Posted by Llyra

In your circumstances, with a younger baby who will be in someone else's care for most of the day, I would definitely take steps to protect your supply. First of all, I'd consider bedsharing. A baby who's next to your body all night is more likely to wake to feed anyway, and feeding becomes easier if you don't have to get up. That's especially important for you because you'll want to be as rested as you can during the day. I would also make sure your caregiver understood how to feed baby during the day in a way that would minimize the risk of baby refusing the breast-- using low-flow nipples even past the newborn period, limiting the amount offered to baby to about an ounce to an ounce and a half an hour, using a cup or syringe to feed if baby has trouble going from bottle back to breast, etc. You can look at kellymom.com for lots of information about that. And yeah, if you do wind up with a "good sleeper," I would plan on waking baby at least twice during the night. Again, that's a lot easier if you're cosleeping.

If you can master side-lying nursing, you may not even really need to wake. If you sleep topless, and keep baby skin-to-skin, baby will likely by a few months old be able to nurse and go back to sleep with you having to do no more than help baby get latched and maybe put a rolled blanket behind baby for support. You'll want to practice that while you're still home with baby-- it can take time to learn how to nurse in that position.

Best of luck! I also had a failed breastfeeding experience with my first, and when the twins were born, I had a lot of anxiety, but we went on to nurse into toddlerhood with very little trouble. You can do this!

If nipple confusion does arise-- it can be overcome! I fought nipple confusion with my DS, and we got him back on the breast. It wasn't easy, but it only took a week and he was back on track.

thanks for the reply! I was already planning on cosleeping (I do with ds and just love it). I was hoping to master the side lying feeding too. My concern with this though is that I have is that I have pretty big boobs and probably will get bigger when my milk comes in. when I first attempted to feed ds I remember that it would cover his nose and the nurse had to remind me not to smoother him with my boobs. Im afraid that if I fall asleep nursing I may not see that Im covering her nose. any tips?

[Llyra]

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

thanks for the reply! I was already planning on cosleeping (I do with ds and just love it). I was hoping to master the side lying feeding too. My concern with this though is that I have is that I have pretty big boobs and probably will get bigger when my milk comes in. when I first attempted to feed ds I remember that it would cover his nose and the nurse had to remind me not to smoother him with my boobs. Im afraid that if I fall asleep nursing I may not see that Im covering her nose. any tips?

I don't think I'm much help on that one. Mine are unusually small, which also comes with its challenges. But there has to be somebody on here who has tips on how to deal with that.

You might also try posting in Working Mamas at some point, if you have questions about breastfeeding and working out of the home.

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

I wouldn't wake a baby because i like to go by the letting sleeping babies lie, but then i never had to anyway because my lo's fed loads while very young. actually my ds caden still wakes a few times a night.
although i do think what pp posters have said about medical reason may need it although i don't know much about that really.

[MaddieMay]

Once in awhile, I'd do a "dream feed" right before I went to bed, but other than that I tried to let DS sleep. There were a few nights when he probably went too long without eating, but because since we were cosleeping and it never became a habit I didn't worry about it. The only time it became a concern was when DS wasn't gaining weight between 3-4 months.

[akind1]

for those with big boobs: side lying is easier as the baby is older I think. I needed to sort of see what I was doing, which was impossible when he was fresh born. around 3 months sidelying became much easier and now how we do the middle of the night feed. I don't need to mush boob out of the way, if you sort of lean back a little, the bed is already mushing your boob from one side, and if you lean back a little, so are not completely on your side, your breast might be a little more flat (I don't know if I am describing this right) - but at night all I need do is sort of aim the nipple towards his mouth the first time, and he is good to go after that. (I have G sized breasts, btw)

as for waking to feed, I only do this if he has woken himself right before I need to leave for work. It is as much for my benefit as his, as I don't want to be super full heading into work, and I don't know when my first opportunity to pump will be. He is waking usually at 4 am to eat, so I wake him usually around 7 to eat. sometimes it is not much, but hey, it helps!

those first few weeks, there was no need to wake him. if he went 4 hours between feeds, so be it! happy mama! but then again, he was gaining at a really good rate then too.