computer/screen time limits?

[*Lisa*]

Do you have limits on how much time your DC can spend on the computer (or other screens)?

I'm finding that my 7 year old DD is going straight to the computer every time she's even a tiny bit bored, and my 2 year old DS follows along to watch or to play himself. We've never imposed any limits before, but I'm starting to think that I need to change something around here. We're not really a TV family, so the computers are our big problem. I'd be really interested in hearing what works well for other people.

[Marimami]

We're a no TV family but we just recently started to use the computer for educational videos, but one of us is always working with DD. Computer time just isn't something I think she needs at age 5.5.

I say this as someone who works in high-tech developing online learning videos and who has computers all over the house! I simply prefer she develops other skills before relying on computers. She has no computer time on her own. It works really well for our family.

Holli

[zjande]

My 11 yr old is allowed 2 hours total of glowing screen time on Wed & Thurs., after his school work & chores are completed. He spends the weekend at his dad's where he gets way more screen than I wish.

My 4 yr old asks for screen time 996856747409690 times per day. We limit him to movie(s) after dark. We don't have tv, but do watch movies. I'm not happy with him having movies every night, but that's the rut we're in right now. bleh. After introducing him to starfall & a couple other educational computer websites recently, he quickly became addicted. He'd just lie there & scream & scream for more time on the sites. It was so bad that we're weaning him off those. As in, a cold turkey weaning. It's been weeks & he still asks for them everyday.

Screens can sure be addictive. Not that I'm innocent or anything!!

[scoobymummy]

I do

I found that my ds not only wanted to play all the time, but talked about the games constantly, and then would have trouble sleeping because he couldn't get the images out of his mind. Both his dad and grandfather have that same quality. He would also get really angry and frustrated when we told him to turn it off. We limited the time, starting with every other day for a good chunk of time, and then once he was able to handle that, every day for a shorter period of time. We talked a lot about it with him too, about the importance of balance in life and how we wanted him to enjoy his passions, but to be able to balance it with the rest of his life. It's helped enormously - he can now turn it off without any problem.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by *Lisa*

Do you have limits on how much time your DC can spend on the computer (or other screens)?

I'm finding that my 7 year old DD is going straight to the computer every time she's even a tiny bit bored, and my 2 year old DS follows along to watch or to play himself.

We didn't/don't have limits.

Since you think your dd is bored, how does she respond to suggestions?

Sometimes my kids being bored would lead them to new things, but sometimes they needed some inspiration--like empty cardboard boxes or some other novelty. I'd invite them to join me with whatever I was doing, offer to play a game, do a puzzle or some other activity with them, suggest going outside or somewhere else. Sometimes, I'd pull out craft supplies or some other item that had been on the shelf or in the closet for so long that the kids forgot we even had it.

I don't have a problem with tv/computer/gaming, but if they're bored, sometimes they need some suggestions to get their own ideas going.

[Savoir Faire]

I impose big limits. My daughter's "thing" is television. We went from watching EVERY DAY (I'm talking four, five, six hours) a day to maybe once a week?

It was not good for the first few days but now they rarely ask.

My son, who is four, enjoys the computer. He is only allowed on starfall.com but he has figured out how to hit the "home" button to go to Google and type in a bunch of letters and then backspace or refresh.

He'd do this for hours if I let him. And then there's the times where he's figured out how to get on Youtube....

So he's been seriously restricted. If he's been having a good day and he's done all his "work" (we have workboxes, so I make sure he does SOMETHING-- maybe some handwriting practice, counting, a game, a chore...) then MAYBE he might get it. I'd say on average...maybe 3 times a week...possibly two?

I've just seen a huge difference in my kids when they have restricted screen time. I know many friends who feel the same way. They're much more likely to entertain themselves or just PLAY....and it keeps me from using it as a babysitter.

[TEAK's Mom]

We don't really have limits, but I would say that we have moderate screen usage. I made a real effort when my girls were little to avoid screen use almost all of the time. It wasn't really on their radar screens until dd1 was 5 and asked if we could start watching some movies. She proposed a movie a week after swimming and I agreed. Now that they are almost 8 and 5.5, we still pretty much watch a movie every week.

Last year, they got Nintendo DSs as gifts and, at first, I was worried about having to moderate usage, but it really hasn't been a problem. I would say that they play for about 30 minutes a few days a week. They enjoy video games very much, but they also seem to be good about stopping. Part of that might be that dd1 read ALL of the safety warnings and instructions and took them to heart. Most of the time, they put the games away before I even get around to asking.

[bobandjess99]

We have very liberal limits. But, my kids will actually CHOOSE to, for example, play outside, lol ,whereas i know some kids who wouldn't, and that would be a different situation.
For educational purposes, they have pretty much unrestricted screen time. It's liek in weight watchers where some foods are worth "no points", lol, if anyone is familiar with that concept. That is going to be things like leap frog/phonics videos, sesame street on tv, or PBSkids or starfall on the puter.
For fun stuff, we gdo go to the library and they get to pick a movie 2X per week...it's usually Dora, Diego, etc, something like that. We don't get cable, so that and PBS are the only cartoons they get to see.
compute play time is somewhat restricted by all the family members sharing puters, lol, but in general, an hour a day for fun isn't unreasonable at all. This is stuff like webkinz.

[skueppers]

We set up parental controls on the computer they use a few months ago. This is a Mac, and the feature is built into the operating system. Anyway, they each get an allotment of an hour a day on the computer. They don't usually use the entire time.

Before we turned on this feature, they (especially the older one) wanted to use the computer for hours to do all kinds of stuff. Now they have to prioritize, and they spend more time doing other things. I'm very pleased with the way it's going, and I definitely think having the computer lock them out works better than having me play timekeeper. It's less work for me, and they accept it more readily.

[kittywitty]

We have a 2 hour limit for computer/video game time. Only my ds ever hits his. The girls don't need reminded and play sparingly. My 9 yo mostly does educational things. My son...he has no sense of time and will literally spend 24 hours straight on the things if we don't have him stop. I'm so glad summer is coming so I can push them outside. Their moods are terrible when ds is on media all the time.

[*Lisa*]

Thanks, everybody. I talked to DD last night about my concerns, and today went MUCH better. She spent much more time reading and drawing and playing and much less time on the computer. Hooray! Hopefully it will last

[briansmama]

I just read Naomi Aldort's Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, and I really liked her approach to helping parents do what is best for their children without imposing limits and control issues.

She recommends freedom in a healthy environment. So, instead of imposing limits on junk foods, tv, video games, she recommends creating a tv-free, whole foods-only, video-game-free environment and suggesting parents keep screens closed up and out of sight until they have time to use them without their children nearby.

This has definitely worked for our family with food issues and TV. Luckily, our boys have no interest in the computer (yet). I only use it during rest time so the 3 year old doesn't see me on it, and the 6-yr-old would rather be outside.

HTH!

[FireWithin]

We allow screen time after 4:00. Otherwise it becomes an obsession even over things that that they absolutely love doing - such as playing board games with Dad, helping me cook or reading books with me. The computer (we use it as a tv) just has too much of an addictive quality for them. They tend to have about 2 - 2 1/2 hours a day which is plenty. What this allows them is to know the option is off the table in the morning so the obsession disappears and they do other things.

[Niamh]

We don't have limits right now. I find that when my kids are going through times where they're constantly watching movies/playing games, there are a few possible reasons:

1) Boredom - this is usually my fault. I've started using it as a babysitter so that I can get things done or I'm not providing lots of alternatives. So I fix that.

2) It's winter. There's no way around this. All of us veg more in the winter. This is when my kids start exploring the cool websites I've been finding for them all spring, summer, and fall when they're outside so much that they could care less about movies and computers. If it's movies they're vegging to, I'll ask if they want to embroider or draw or (insert hands-on craft here) while they watch. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.

3) It's a new obsession. I have one child who likes to watch a new movie two or three times in a row to 'get it'. They can also latch onto a website they haven't been to before. Since I'm like this myself - when I'm interested in something, I tend to study it until I've 'milked it dry', so to speak - I don't stress about this behavior. I let it run its course most of the time.

Will we need limits in the future? Because of our parenting philosophy, I doubt it (we'll probably work with other options to find a solution to whatever the issue is), but maybe.

[One_Girl]

I let dd do a half hour when she is interested in using the computer and she can watch one movie each day of the weekend and on wednesdays. The rest of the time she can play, read a book, do art, etc...

[crunchy_mama]

I was just wondering about this myself especially after reading yt again about the harms of too much screen time. Screentime had been seeping in lately w/ the oldest(dd1 is almost 3 and cares nothing about the tv and the youngest is a baby). However, ds can get way obsessive and pick watching tv over everything- like playing outside or other beloved things and if I didn't impose he would watch as much in a day as he should in a week.

So, we are trying to back back down off of it during the troublesome times- ie right as soon as we get up especially as we generally do things around the house until 9:30 or so when we start "schooling".

I notice his behavior really degenerates when he is online too much as well. I think he takes that aspect of his personality after me. I have had dh lock me out from the computer more than once as I have a hard time stopping even when I know I should. Even when I know I feel better and more balanced when I stay off. I think it is an addictive thing really and sometimes addicts need help from outsides themselves.

[linclane]

I try to keep screen time (tv or comp) under an hour or two a day - but I don't keep track of every minute.

In general I let them do no more than 20 - 30 mins at a time, and no more than once or twice a day.

Some days, when we're researching something together and printing out info, we'll spend hours without even realizing it. Some days the kids don't have any screen time. It all works out in the long run.

[CariOfOz]

I simply HAVE to have limits for my 8yo. He is so screen obsessed that it's not funny! It started with computer games a few years ago, he would start asking the second his feet hit the floor in the morning... and it only got worse. Finally he just could not use it at all because anytime he was told he needed to get off, or that he could not have computer time it resulted in a full on crying, screaming meltdown! We eventually had to start locking our computers as dh found him on the computer at 4am! (dh gets up for work then) So he had woken up thinking about it, and tested to see if he could get on one of the computers in the middle of the night!

NOW it's the Wii. We have seriously taken to putting it in our bedroom closet during the week, because if he can SEE it, he WILL ask for it constantly. It's like he expects to wear us down and get a YES out of sheer frustration!!! His behavior becomes HORRIBLE when he has more than minimal use.

When we keep his screen use in check, his behavior is a LOT better and he gets frustrated and irritable a lot less. It's not popular with some people, but it's simply a necessity for us.

That being said.. we are technically on school holidays.. and he's on the Wii now for half an hour LOL.