4 y.o won't let dh help

[Enudely]

My (almost) 4 year old won't let dh help take care of her ! He can't help put her to bed (brush teeth, get jammies on, pick out books, read books, none of it!), can't fix her a snack, can't help get her shoes on,.... etc.
It's starting to get really old! I have a 13 month old too, so sometimes the baby needs me and she needs to let daddy help her.
Tonight, she had a screaming, mad, raving fit because he was needing to help her out of the bath while I nursed the baby down to sleep. in the next room. He ended up dragging her out of the bath because he was afraid she was going to hurt herself. She was an absolute wreck by the time I got to her.
Anyone else going through this? thoughts? Suggestions?

[jillmamma]

My DD pulls this sometimes too. In our case, it helps if she and daddy get to spend some more one on one time without me around...like if I have a Bunco night and leave the kiddos with DH, or go out shopping on my own, etc. If dad is the only option, then she will accept him. Also, if they can do more fun stuff together (puzzles, legos, read books, ride bikes, etc.) then she is more willing to let daddy help her finish up in the potty or zip her jacket or whatever. With us, it is also worse if she is tired, then she wants mom. So, I can sympathize!

[tinuviel_k]

My daughter went through a stage like this around age 3.5-4 years old. She never quite got hysterical, but she began insisting that I be the one to do everything for/with her, and that her papa not.

Like Jillmamma, we decided that my husband needed more one-on-one time with our daughter. I went out for several hours a couple evenings a week while the two of them stayed home (Barnes and Noble, grocery shopping, whatever...), and he took her out for a special activity for a long morning every weekend. She had no problems when I wasn't there, and in a very short period of time she got used to papa taking care of her. Then when we were home we insisted on her papa helping her out, playing, etc. It worked out just fine.

[honeybunmom]

My daughter turned 4 at the end of October and we go through this from time to time. I WOH full time and my dh is at home with our soon to be 12 mos old and picks up dd from school every day. Some mornings I accompany them for drop off. So, she doesn't need more alone time with papi. I do the night time routine and papi does not know her bed time songs. So, it's a real pain if I have to nurse the baby or something comes up with him - or me, I was really sick last week - and she just refuses her father. She claims he *always* does x, y, or z - which is not true in the least. We simply repeat - over and over - that mommy and papi are a team, we help each other and she must allow papi to help.