Help! 3.5 week old will only sleep with me

[matokshilli]

Our newborn recently started only sleeping when he's with me, naps included. I have to hold him in order for him to sleep- once we put him in the bassinet or car seat he wakes up! Even if I've spent a great deal of time with him while he starts sleeping. I don't know what to do! During the night he also only sleeps while on me...

will this pass? or how can I fix it?
I don't mind some times napping together, but not all the time.
please help

[briome]

Not too susprising actually!
OK but how do you deal with YOUR needs huh?

Baby likes your warmth, breathing, smell, comfort and immediate action since you are close. How else can you provide some of this for him.

Some babies have a top thing they like. If your baby is a smell centered, leaving a recently worn item (somepeople who use breast pads leave one) near the child. Others try swings, vibration chairs or any other sort of contraption to meet those needs in the first few months. That does not mean you will have to use them for the rest of his baby hood, just to get you over the hump. Infants change sleep habits so quickly! Try not to get to focused that this will be how it will be FOREVER! Maybe you can give daddy or grandma your shirt to wear, put over so they can hold the sleeping baby? Hav you learned how to lay down and nurse?

Your baby wants to be with you, that is good! Be creative!

[sanguine_speed]

How about wearing your LO in a stretchy wrap?

[jecombs]

My DD was exactly like this as an infant! A few things that helped:

1. Wearing her. That way my hands were free and I could still get things done while she slept.
2. Putting her in the bouncy seat and bouncing it with my foot until she fell asleep. My hands were free, so I could at least eat lunch or something.
3. Putting her in the swing.
4. Letting her fall asleep in the car and then leaving her in the car seat until she woke up (not in the car, of course!).
5. Making DH hold her for a while.

Just try to enjoy this time while it lasts. Pretty soon your DS will be pushing you away and saying "I do it myself, Mama!" and you will miss the days when he was so dependent on you.

[GOPLawyer]

Completely normal. Your baby just spent all that time growing inside you. He's used to the constant touch and sound of you. The contact is good for him (and you too PP).

A wrap (a Bali Baby/Wrapsody Bali Stretch is my fave at this early age) is the perfect solution. He gets the touch he needs and you are still able to get stuff done.

[RedOakMomma]

Originally Posted by jecombs

My DD was exactly like this as an infant! A few things that helped:

1. Wearing her. That way my hands were free and I could still get things done while she slept.
2. Putting her in the bouncy seat and bouncing it with my foot until she fell asleep. My hands were free, so I could at least eat lunch or something.
3. Putting her in the swing.
4. Letting her fall asleep in the car and then leaving her in the car seat until she woke up (not in the car, of course!).
5. Making DH hold her for a while.

Just try to enjoy this time while it lasts. Pretty soon your DS will be pushing you away and saying "I do it myself, Mama!" and you will miss the days when he was so dependent on you.

I had twins that were like this for MONTHS. It was tiring, yes, but you can get used to it. The above suggestions are great. The other thing I did, because I found being a nursing station/bed for my kids was really making me ache, was put them in a stroller and go for long walks. Often the bump, bump, bump of the sidewalk lulled them into sleep, too.

[RedOakMomma]

And for the record, I do NOT miss the days when they were THAT dependent on me.

[sanguine_speed]

Originally Posted by RedOakMomma

And for the record, I do NOT miss the days when they were THAT dependent on me.

I thought the same thing when i read that, lol. No, I don't miss early infancy. We lived it, enjoyed it the best we could, and now I LOVE having an 8-year-old, 6-year-old and 2-year-old.

This baby, we'll do our best to enjoy it and carry on...

[Abraisme]

I agree, get a stretchy wrap like a Moby and wear your baby. Most babies will grow out of this (although some need more touch for longer). I think it's really important to give your baby non-stop touch for at least the first 3 months anyway. My son needed to sleep on top of me for the first 4mo and then he never needed to sleep on me again. Each child is different, you'll just have to wait and see.

[tzs]

yep. same here. and i hated co-sleeping so i worked really hard to get her in a crib in our room. tried it all (stuff with my scent, making the area smaller, warming the bed up....) none of it really "worked" but she was out of my bed by 2 months or so.

and she finally did settle into naps. the wrap is great, it was nice to have hands free to read a magazine, watch a movie etc. but as far as getting stuff done...forget it. maybe the "pop her in and go about your day" type babywearing is for heartier people but i couldn't do it so don't beat yourself up if it doesn't go how you;d like it to.

stroller was great, swing was sometimes the answer.

it will change. now that she's 6 mo i sometimes wish she would just pass out on top of me and snuggle instead of trying to wiggle all over the place.

[matokshilli]

thanks so much for all the advice and encouragement. I have tried the walking- putting him in the stroller, but thats not working. The wrap is new for us, so I'm learning how use it, wear it, etc. it's hard to get him in it for me while alone during the day.

as far as him sleeping with me; it's safe, right? I haven't mastered the nursing while laying down yet... this is my first child.

[Norasmomma]

Sounds normal, wear him for naps, that what I did with my son.

As longs as you follow the co-sleeping rules, it can be very safe. Look up Dr. Sears and read his cosleeping rules, his advice can be very reassuring.

[lil_stinkyfeet]

My son LIVED on top of me for at least the first 3months... I had no choice or no one would get ANY sleep! You do what you have to do to get through those early weeks/months.

[nicole528]

My DD was just like this (she is now 4.5 months). She only slept on me and needed to be held and moving while awake. Needless to say, it was quite exhausting! What helped us was wearing her a lot in the beginning. Once she fell asleep on me, my husband would wrap her up and wear her while he did some work on the computer. What also helped us was the 'Miracle Blanket' (it's just a good swaddle blanket). We were told about it when she was about 10 weeks old and she slept for the first time by herself for over 2 hours!!! As you can imagine, after 10 weeks of holding, we did think it was a miracle! You can find it online.

Another thing to keep in mind was something I read during that time...Although you know you and your baby are separate, your baby still thinks you are one being. So you can imagine why your baby needs to be held, both awake and asleep. It made me hold my baby a little closer and also enjoy that time, as it passes by so fast. I will tell you... it does get easier! Good Luck!!!

-Nicole, mama to DD (11/09)

[kismetbaby]

Originally Posted by matokshilli

thanks so much for all the advice and encouragement. I have tried the walking- putting him in the stroller, but thats not working. The wrap is new for us, so I'm learning how use it, wear it, etc. it's hard to get him in it for me while alone during the day.

as far as him sleeping with me; it's safe, right? I haven't mastered the nursing while laying down yet... this is my first child.

You're doing great! You will grow more confident with all of this--the nursing, the wrap, the sleep. And yes, safe to sleep with your LO!!! In fact, much lower incidence of SIDS with co-sleeping babes. My LO wouldn't be put down for more than 5 min (literally) for the first 6 weeks of his life! And I couldn't side-lie nurse yet either. So I would prop myself up with tons of pillow sort of semi-reclining and we would nurse/sleep like this through most of the night (sometimes DH would take a turn with the sleep holding).

Then all on his own at about 6 weeks, he decided he wanted to sleep on the bed, not on me. . .but he wanted me right next to him--for the whole nap/sleep. (That was also about when I could finally lay down and nurse.) That went on till he was about 4 months. . .now I just nurse him and then slip away and he sleeps on his own for naps. He still sleeps in bed with us at night and I love it!!!! I can nurse without fully waking and he never cries at night, just grunts a little till he finds the breast (about 3x a night).

They will keep changing so fast. . .do what works for all of you as a family and don't be worried that any one thing will be creating a "bad habit".

[tanyalynn]

My 2nd was like this always, but my 1st wasn't, except when she hit growth spurts. 10 days, 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months are typical times for growth spurts. My 1st drove me just about crazy--for naps, I had to hold her and walk, no standing still or sitting, til she was done with that growth spurt. Things may change, and change fast (and change again).

[HappiLeigh]

My DS is the same way. He was born 2/27 (he's 3.5 weeks) and is currently asleep in my mei tai. I just make nearly constant use of a baby carrier. He will sleep for a very short time in the swing also, if it's moving. Or at least stay in there without crying long enough for me to shower or do other necessary things you can't do with a baby hooked to the front of you. This time will go faster than you think.

[*EarthMama*]

Originally Posted by matokshilli

Our newborn recently started only sleeping when he's with me, naps included. I have to hold him in order for him to sleep- once we put him in the bassinet or car seat he wakes up! Even if I've spent a great deal of time with him while he starts sleeping. I don't know what to do! During the night he also only sleeps while on me...

will this pass? or how can I fix it?
I don't mind some times napping together, but not all the time.
please help

I just wanted to mention that I have a 29 month old who still does this. I don't think it is any thing out of the ordinary. Some kids are just more needy in that area. Clearly since ds is still like this I don't have any good advice, but, I wanted to offer a and remind you to enjoy it! 3.5 weeks is so early still and you realy don't know how long this stage will last. Soak it up because it is so precious and surely will not last forever.