Does a One YO Need "Socialization" With Other Kids?

[Cherry Alive]

My pediatrician suggested this. My mother insists on it. While DD likes to watch all people (including children), she doesn't heavily interact with other children. We do get out regularly, however, and she loves to meet new people (usually different adults). Anyhow, I thought babes only did "parallel playing" until they were 2 or 3 so forcing one into a preschool/playgroup isn't really necessary. Thoughts?

[HappyFox05]

Originally Posted by Cherry Alive

Anyhow, I thought babes only did "parallel playing" until they were 2 or 3...

That's what I've read too. I know with DD 1, she never acted like she cared about playing w/other kids when she was that little.

[briome]

No Not Needed.

Children do NEED other humans of course but peer socialization is totally over stressed.
Read 'Hold onto Your Kids' for a great view on this.

[Birdie B.]

I"m no expert, but I have noticed a huge difference between my daughter, who sees other babies maybe once a week, and my friends' children who go to daycare or have older siblings. Children seem to learn so much from watching other children, and I think this is a good thing. I'd love to be around other children more; I think it would really help her development. She's 16 months and still not crawling or walking; whereas children who have siblings to keep up with are constantly on the go. I"m sure there are other factors, but all in all I do think socialization is important - humans are social creatures after all.

[limette]

Originally Posted by Birdie B.

I"m no expert, but I have noticed a huge difference between my daughter, who sees other babies maybe once a week, and my friends' children who go to daycare or have older siblings. Children seem to learn so much from watching other children, and I think this is a good thing. I'd love to be around other children more; I think it would really help her development. She's 16 months and still not crawling or walking; whereas children who have siblings to keep up with are constantly on the go. I"m sure there are other factors, but all in all I do think socialization is important - humans are social creatures after all.

My dd1 was the opposite. She's always been very advanced and has no trouble socializing with anyone despite hardly ever being around other kids until her sister was born when she was 2.5.

When she is around other kids the only she learns is how to be horrible and rude.

[mamadelbosque]

We started going to a playgroup on a regular basis when DS1 was just shy of 2. If I'd known about it beforehand I would have started way earlier. Granted, its only been in the last few months that he's really started to play WITH the other kids, but its been great, IMO for him to be around them and its wonderful to have other moms of similar-aged-kids to talk with. If you have the oppertunity to socialize your 12 month old I'd do it in a heart beat. DS2 will be 12 months when DS1 goes to preschool, but I'll definetly still be going to playgroup!!

[mamamillet]

Originally Posted by Birdie B.

I"m no expert, but I have noticed a huge difference between my daughter, who sees other babies maybe once a week, and my friends' children who go to daycare or have older siblings. Children seem to learn so much from watching other children, and I think this is a good thing. I'd love to be around other children more; I think it would really help her development. She's 16 months and still not crawling or walking; whereas children who have siblings to keep up with are constantly on the go. I"m sure there are other factors, but all in all I do think socialization is important - humans are social creatures after all.

OT but if your dd is not crawling or walking by 16 months its not a socilaization issue its a motor issue...

[mamamillet]

on topic...1 yo do not need preschool but outings and get togethers with others can help social development.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I think babies learn from each other. My friends baby and my baby go to daycare together a few days a week. Her baby is about 5months younger than mine, and he is now totally into spinning the wheels on the trucks they play with!! My DS has been doing that for months now, he'll turn the truck upside down (or really anything with wheels on it) and spin the wheels. Her son does the same exact thing now! It's hilarious!

[Bokonon]

It certainly can't hurt, and it's usually fun for babies to be around other babies, besides being good for moms to be around other moms.

[AKislandgirl]

My DD loves other kids! I think its good for babies (everyone really!) to be comfortable interacting with people of all ages. DD is definately drawn to other babies and toddlers. She wants to hug them and kiss them!

I do child care out of my home with some kids a couple of years older then her. She squeals with delight when the arrive in the morning. We do some playgroup type things to. I wouldn't say this is necessary but because I see how much she loves it I'm glad that we have these opportunities for socialization.

[silybum]

I've been hosting a playgroup at my house once a week for the past few months. My DD, almost 17months, seems to really enjoy having the other babies (from 7m to almost 2) and moms over. There is definitely some parallel play but also interaction.

Yesterday, when DD fell over and began to cry, another little girl, almost her age, made a very sad face. It was so sweet to see her learning compassion. They do watch eachother very closely, and I see them imitate each others behavior. My LO hasnt picked up bad behavior from others, as one poster mentioned. All the kids are quite sweet. But then I invite moms who I like, and whose parenting style I am cool with.

[briome]

Yes, I lOVE playgroups and get togethers especially WITH the parent...
My point is that no parent should be made to feel that they are limiting the social/emotional/mental development of a young child by not putting them in daycare/preschool. Of course if your family needs care it is great but if the family does not need extra care a parent at home can be enough.

[fruitfulmomma]

To the OP, no I don't think they need special times of peer-to-peer interaction, they need interaction with people in general.

She's 16 months and still not crawling or walking; whereas children who have siblings to keep up with are constantly on the go.

I really doubt this has anything to do with socialization. My oldest child walked at 8 months and had no interaction to speak of with other children. My youngest child didn't walk until 13 months and she has four older siblings and we go to the library where there are lots of other children on a pretty
regular basis.

ETA: and I agree with this...

OT but if your dd is not crawling or walking by 16 months its not a socilaization issue its a motor issue...

[beckyand3littlemonsters]

1 year olds don't really play with other children just alongside and although i would say nursery/pre-school are not really needed mums and tots groups may be a good thing for both of you, my kiddies always love(d) groups.
at the end of the day you should do what you feel is right for your lo not what others are telling you to do.

[starling&diesel]

I wonder about this ... I have made the effort to attend the local family resource centre, drop-ins, library story time, and kinder gym since DD was about five months old. I'm not a group person, or a team person, or even big on 'socialization.' I like my down time. I like my quiet. I like my small posse of very good friends. I like my little family.
However, because of my bias against 'socialization' type things, I thought it wise to introduce other kids and play groups to DD in hopes that she's a little less anti-social than I am.
So here we are, having attended various 'socializing' opportunities for nearly nine months now, and I'm thinking we'll stop.
DD doesn't seem to enjoy large groups at all ... and I've done my best not to project my own thoughts on the matter onto her, although maybe I've failed at that and she picks up on my energy.
She enjoys playing with one or two other littles, but not the more formal group set-ups. We go, she clings to me, watches everything with curiosity from her position at the boob, and then we leave.
I think we'll redirect our 'socializing' energy to small play dates. That seems to work best!
I do think socializing kids is important, otherwise they might have more challenges dealing with shyness and anxiety when it comes time for them to go to school (like me!), or if you're going to homeschool, when it comes time to join in hs co-op opportunities or lessons. But I also want to honour DD's personality, and so far, she's a little introvert like me.
It's a fine balance ... and to the OP, you'll find it!

ETA: I also agree with the PP who said that peer socialization is over-stressed. Especially when the behaviours our LO's are seeing modeled are hogging toys, shoving each other, screeching, pushing younger children and disrespecting the shared toys. Meh.

[serenbat]

so many people tend to forget when, you grow up and face the real-world, you are with a mix of ages, not just your peer group, for some that spend the first 18 to 22 years of their life with peers some find it a real wake up call and their socialization has not prepared them to deal with non-peers---I have worked and known many of these!


it's not the number of friends you have that counts in the end

homeschool and totally opposed to socialization craze

[greenbeanmama]

We "socialize" quite a bit. When we go to the grocery store and say hello to Mrs. Angie in the bakery and Mrs. Diane in the produce section. We socialize when we greet the neighborhood kids walking home from school. We socialize when Aunt Hannah drops over to borrow our computer. We socialize when we check out books from the library, talking with the children's librarian, other moms and kiddos, and the older gentleman who is always reading the paper in a comfy chair. We socialize on every outing we take.

If you want your child to be "properly" socialized, then get them out in society! Let them interact with people of all ages, and in all settings. If you want playdates, then by all means have playdates (we do those too, as it helps my son when he can anticipate playing with the same children each week). But if your child is coming with you as you live life, then they should learn how to handle social situations, pick up on social ques, and generally learn by living it. You don't need to stress out about it, you just need to take them with you into the big wide world!

[ema-adama]

I just skimmed the responses - OP I do think that babies/toddlers benefit from seeing people other than just mum or dad. I have heard parents say that their childen only need the parents to be socialised. I am not sure I agree with that.

DS is very comfortable with adults, and slightly apprehensive with other toddlers and kids. I think this is in part due to us not having a regular social time with other kids. Around where I live, they are pretty much all in daycare/kindy/school. I have solved the problem by joining a homeschooling group and I am watching DS grow in confidence around other children. I hope in time he will have friends in the group and have a real sense of belonging to a group.

Toddlers don't 'need' other kids to play in that there is mostly parallel play at that age, however I think they do benefit from having a variety of different aged people around them.

I have also heard about children speaking/walking sooner if they are around other kids, and I do not think that is necessarily true. I have seen too many babies who defy that 'rule'

[dex_millie]

Originally Posted by ema-adama

I just skimmed the responses - OP I do think that babies/toddlers benefit from seeing people other than just mum or dad. I have heard parents say that their childen only need the parents to be socialised. I am not sure I agree with that.

DS is very comfortable with adults, and slightly apprehensive with other toddlers and kids. I think this is in part due to us not having a regular social time with other kids. Around where I live, they are pretty much all in daycare/kindy/school. I have solved the problem by joining a homeschooling group and I am watching DS grow in confidence around other children. I hope in time he will have friends in the group and have a real sense of belonging to a group.

Toddlers don't 'need' other kids to play in that there is mostly parallel play at that age, however I think they do benefit from having a variety of different aged people around them.

I have also heard about children speaking/walking sooner if they are around other kids, and I do not think that is necessarily true. I have seen too many babies who defy that 'rule'

I agree mostly with this. DS is comfortable around people he has grown use to. But when in certain new settings he is seriously shy to the point that his hands start move (as he is nervous), he doesn't follow instructions, ect...

When I was taking him to play areas on a regular between age 1-2 he got so use to it there was no 45 minutes whine down before he went to play without me having to be so attatch to him. Now we haven't done it in over a year since DD was born and we only have 1 car we are back to step 1.