Book rec for new none AP mom to be?

[hillymum]

My BIL's 20 yr old son's 19yr old girlfriend is 7 weeks pregnant. I don't think she is against AP, I think she just doesn't know anything about it. I really want to buy her a good starter book. Can someone recommend something for me?
Thanks!

[Kelly1101]

Dr. Sears "The Baby Book". It's AWESOME. A little preachy in some parts, but full of information on things like breastfeeding, baby-wearing, co-sleeping. But ALSO full of just general info, first-aid, basic newborn care, etc. Written by an experienced pediatrician, so it's a great source and not full of any type of "spiritual" side that may turn some off, just facts presented plainly. Love this book and recommend it to anyone who is expecting.

[hillymum]

Thanks Kelly! As soon as I wrote my post I googled Dr Sears and came up with that and a few others.

[staceychev]

nak

Agree with PP. Also, Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block.

[Loving1]

what is ap?

[JessieBird]

I have to vote for Dr Sears Baby Book also. I don't think it's preachy at all. IMO, it's pretty tame and approachable for people not yet familiar with AP. Dr Sears' writing style is so down to earth and humble, the way he speaks from his own experience makes the views that he advocates very easy to accept. If you are at all worried about them rejecting AP, I wouldn't refer to the book or your values as AP or any other particular label. Just offer it as a really nice baby care book (compared to What to Expect, which is so specific and scary no matter what your parenting values are) and then see what aspects they may want to talk about. I think it also leaves open lots of areas for discussion and debate (such as types of carriers other than slings, other approaches to potty learning) so you don't have to appear to be pushing his doctrine on them word for word (don't mean to make assumptions but this would definitely be an issue with my nephews and nieces of that age, they'd reject anything just because I support it ).

I've never looked at Dr Sears' Pregnancy Book but it might be nice too.

[Dr.Worm]

Another recommendation for The Baby Book!

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by Loving1

what is ap?

Attachment Parenting... kind of the label for a group of parenting ideas/philosophies that are pretty common on this forum. In short, it's about listening to and responding to your baby, building a bond of trust, and fitting your lives together (rather than scheduling the baby, letting it CIO-- cry it out--, "training" it to a preconceived notion).

There's a lot more to it than that, but that's the basic idea behind it.

[jecombs]

I loved The Baby Book! It exposed me to a type of parenting I didn't know existed. Plus, like pps have said, it has tons of info on basic baby care. There have been many nights when DD was awake and screaming that I turned to that book as a reference.

It also has the wonderful Tylenol dosing chart, which as a new parent I didn't even know I needed, until I broke open that first bottle of Tylenol and discovered it had no dosing instructions except "consult your physician."

[GreenTeaGinger61]

I'll keep adding recommendations for The Baby Book. I think it's an excellent introduction to "ap" type parenting for someone who has no clue. In addition, it also functions as a wonderful, approachable and useful baby book (which imo every parent needs). I still have mine and plan to use it for this baby as well (it's my fourth). I think Sear's approach is very middle of the road which is good when you're first exposed to any kind of parenting idea. I'm always turned off by fanatics and he doesn't come across that way at all. I also like the idea of his Pregnancy book. Not my all time favorite pregnancy book but it is a good introduction to natural birthing, etc.

[Midwesterner04]

Yes, Dr. Sears's The Baby Book! In my reading, it doesn't come across as heavily ideological or as attempting to win converts to the author's particular subculture (I find that many parenting books can come across that way--"cry-it-out" books are probably the most guilty of this). It is just gently matter of fact in its AP assumptions: breastfeeding is the *normal* way for babies to eat, it is *normal* for babies to have lots of needs and for their parents to want to respond to them, it is *normal* to find that frequent night-nursing works well when the baby sleeps close to his or her parents, etc.

As other posters have said, the book is also a good source of basic info such as how to bathe and how often, cord care, diaper changing technique, where to begin when your child is ready for solids, and so on.

[staceychev]

I love The Baby Book but wanted to just put it out there that I have a colleague who, with his wife, find it very preachy and off-putting. They're generally open-minded gentle parents, but if memory serves, however, she couldn't/wouldn't nurse, and they found the breastfeeding section offensive in tone. Might have been defensiveness on their parts. IDK.

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by staceychev

I love The Baby Book but wanted to just put it out there that I have a colleague who, with his wife, find it very preachy and off-putting. They're generally open-minded gentle parents, but if memory serves, however, she couldn't/wouldn't nurse, and they found the breastfeeding section offensive in tone. Might have been defensiveness on their parts. IDK.

I think it's because many parts of the book it's like he's trying to talk you into it. I'd really like less persuasion and more straight-up information. For me it was like... I already know I'm going to babywear, you can stop trying to convince me now, just give me some tips on HOW to do it.

There are enough good things about the book, though, that I still recommend it.

[Path2Felicity]

I LOVED The Baby Book. I was very lucky... I knew nothing about AP and went to the bookstore and just picked this book out randomly. It seemed the most comprehensive and I liked the way the book was organized. Plus, I loved the emphasis on things that I valued- breastfeeding and just a gentle approach to parenting. I am a pretty mild person and I get upset when I see parents being harsh to their babies. And, I was always put off by CIO even though I didn't realize it at the time. So, I was glad that I picked it up.

I also recommend The Baby Bond... it's the second edition of the book that I have now: "Baby Matters"... it's really scientific and offers good advice about foods (e.g., how most babies have a difficult time digesting dairy). But, it is a little (and by little I mean a lot) more forceful than Dr. Sears.

[tzs]

i liked the DR sears book for all the info for sure.

i think even stuff that might sound AP preachy doesn't come across that way. like, i remember reading that part about becomming "attached" (you know, "do you miss your baby when apart? then you are attached...) and first thinking that the language was so hokey but then thinking, um, this is a parenting "style?" it just seems like regular common sense mother stuff to be. like, hmmm, i guess i'm "attached" but i just thought i was being a mother. yk?

[candelaria80]

Has anyone read "Attached at the Heart"? I just came across it today and was thinking about picking it up?

http://attachedattheheart.attachmentparenting.org/

[Kelly1101]

Originally Posted by tzs

but then thinking, um, this is a parenting "style?" it just seems like regular common sense mother stuff to be. like, hmmm, i guess i'm "attached" but i just thought i was being a mother. yk?

I know you what you mean, but it might be because I was raised by a mom who did "AP" stuff before there was a name for "AP" (she breastfed, baby-wore, didn't leave us to CIO, etc). So all of that was just normal for me, I'd seen her do it with my baby brother when I was like 5 years old, and when your parents do it, it tends to be "just the way it's done." Like, I honestly don't even think that I knew formula existed until I was nearly a teen. I figured all babies get fed milk from the breasts, cause that's how it works.

So I don't know whether I was naturally drawn to AP because of an instinctual thing, or whether it was more because of my own childhood.