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Accidentally started co-sleeping, not working for us

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
My twin boys are nearly 5 months old.

They're breastfed for the most part, and we did start solids recently, but mostly just the experimental spoonful here and there. Kepler takes a bottle with cereal in it at night to help his reflux.

At about 8, we start turning lights down low. Do a bath (though this sucks, because the boys hate it and we end up with them screaming instead of being soothed.) Books are still out of the question. We've tried, but it quickly devolves into them screaming more.

By 8:30 or so, we start doing the last bottles/nursing (Tycho refuses bottles anymore, so we've given up trying.) I like to do this in bed, really, but if hubby's helping with bottles, then he likes it in the den downstairs, because sitting up in bed hurts his back.

They'd been swaddled until recently, but that is becoming more and more of a problem. If they're asleep, it wakes them up, and if we do it before feeding, it just makes them irritable and harder to feed.

When they're asleep (even after the bottle, they both need to nurse to sleep.) we lay them down in their cribs, with a light flannel blanket over them. (Hey, *I* can't sleep without a blanket even when it's 90 degrees out, I'm not going to expect them to.) This usually lasts a good solid two hours. YAY!
Sometimes if they fuss, they do it without really waking up (if that makes sense?) so we try to stroke their hair/head and offer a paci until they settle.

At the two hour mark, I assume it's because the're hungry, so I get them up and feed them. This is where the night just starts unravelling and I end up with two babies in bed instead of DH. Even limp-asleep, when I put them back in their cribs, they start *violently* protesting. Swinging arms, legs, etc. Again, swaddling has just been exacerbating this lately, so I've chucked it. Sometimes it seems to work, and then I'm back in there 10 minutes later. If I offer the breast, they don't really eat, just suckle enough to calm down for the moment, until I try to lay them back down. (Tycho's the worst about this, Kepler's easier to soothe.)

For a while, I thought things were going well. They'd wake up and make some grunting protests and then get themselves back to sleep before I could even get to their door. I even had a few nights of 5 or more hours straight.

I can't keep doing this. We're putting our house on the market to sell in April, so side-carring a crib is out of the question, because it wouldn't look "show worthy." DH has sleep apnea and doesn't trust himself in bed with one of them, let alone both of them - even if there were space on a queen mattress for that!! I don't even like having both of them there, since I'm uncomfortable between them, so I keep them in the middle and physically get up and walk to the other side of the bed when the other one wants to nurse!! It's getting ridiculous.

I need help. If you've read through this, bless you.
post #2 of 8
Wow...bless YOU for your hardwork of mothering! I know that twins demands an entirely different approach, but with my second child we had a similar dilemma...I ended up utilizing the swing until she was about 10 mo. old...it soothed her and kept her asleep, plus she was MORE than happy to go back to it after nursing. I don't know how your boys feel about that, or how you feel about it....we set it up in the room so that we could monitor her closely (and it wouldn't look THAT trashy for showings...maybe you could even fold and put away if you knew ahead of time?). Just an idea...
post #3 of 8
What about putting their crib mattress on the floor in your room beside your bed, and when people are coming to look at the house you can just slide it under your bed?
post #4 of 8
Just a thought... but the solids might not be agreeing with their tummies. That will NOT help in getting them to sleep longer.
post #5 of 8
when my ds was 5months, before we co slept (i didnt want to co sleep then, i didnt feel safe with him in the bed) he would do the exact same thing! a boppy in the crib covered with a super soft/thick blanket solved our problem. im sure its not recommended by safety standards, but i felt safe doing it. he needed to feel like he was being "held" and i constantly checked him during nap time, and we were waking up all the time for feedings (not fussing, but feedings) anyways so I really did feel safe. then when he felt solid enough for me to co sleep, we did, but you dont want to co sleep, so ignore that last part
post #6 of 8
Could you put a mattress on the floor in their room instead of the crib, then you could lie with them to nurse them & then go back to your room without the riskiness of moving them.

I tried to not cosleep but it just hasn't worked out. Sometimes getting sleep is more important even if it means changing the ideal. I can't wait to get ds out of my bed & dh off the couch but for now this is working for us.

I just wanted to mention - I thought it was considered a choking risk to put cereal in a bottle. I've never dealt with reflux though so perhaps I'm wrong.
post #7 of 8
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post

I just wanted to mention - I thought it was considered a choking risk to put cereal in a bottle. I've never dealt with reflux though so perhaps I'm wrong.
some pedis (and grandparents ) suggest this so that the milk could "stay down" better for reflux babies ... ive seen it work somewhat w/ younger family members, but not always
post #8 of 8
Oh dear, I feel for you. My twins were very difficult 5-8 mos and that is when we started co sleeping. We ended up buying a king even though we couldn't afford it. But now I get so much more sleep and we have been really happy. Have you thought about using a pack n play next to your bed? One DD stayed in the Arms Reach until 7 mos, other DD layed next to me which was great. This way you could move it to the side when showing your house.
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