or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Understanding Circumcision › I think I'm going to vomit- my sister is going to circumcise my nephew
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I think I'm going to vomit- my sister is going to circumcise my nephew - Page 2

post #21 of 30
It is so funny that guys would WANT to see their LO's glans! I consider it insanely private/intimate, and DH, who was initially ambivalent about Circ agrees! We were both agreeing tonight that if DS were not intact we would have to have him covered up 24/7 because we would both feel like it was not right for us to be looking upon a private internal organ like that. We feel like the foreskin gives DS that much more privacy, which you would think dads would want between themselves and their sons.
post #22 of 30
I know its a serious subject for you but I was LOL when I saw the title of this thread. My first thought was, "I hope she washes her hands first!"
post #23 of 30
I feel sorry for both the mom and the baby. This sounds like abuse to me, pure and simple. I would worry about what else he will threaten to leave her over.
post #24 of 30
wow, your poor sister. being in an abusive relationship can be very scary. i wonder what else he has threatened. emotional abuse can easily turn physical. i would want to get her out of there. how sick is it that he uses his son's penis as leverage to get her to do what he wants?
maybe he will be gone before the baby even comes. yuck.

h
post #25 of 30
Thread Starter 
Unfortunately every relationship she has been in is physically or emotionally abusive. I offered her a place in my house but she refuses to leave him. He's isolated her from all of her friends and now h's slowly isolating her from her family. I feel like him pushing this isssue is just a test to see how far he can make her go when she doesn't want to
post #26 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephM76 View Post
Unfortunately every relationship she has been in is physically or emotionally abusive. I offered her a place in my house but she refuses to leave him. He's isolated her from all of her friends and now h's slowly isolating her from her family. I feel like him pushing this isssue is just a test to see how far he can make her go when she doesn't want to
I'm really sorry to hear this . Sounds like she need counseling and emotional support badly herself. Perhaps trying the angle of asking her what she would do if it was the other way around; if she knew that you were in an abusive relationship, would she let it happen or intervene? While it's probably been said already, it also might help to keep reminding her that she will now have the child's health and happiness as her responsibility too; if not for herself, then at least for the sake of the child DUMP HIM. Don't know, but I wish you luck in your role as her sister, and soon to be Aunt.
post #27 of 30
Ugh. I know how you feel. My sister circed my twin nephews, who are now 15 months old. She's a nurse, so that made it all the more surprising, for some reason. Anyway, I knew it wasn't something within my power to change at the time. All I know is that I didn't want anything to affect my bond with my nephews. I do feel sad every time I see them naked, and I wouldn't change their diapers until they were a year old. I love them dearly, and they're just the sweetest little things.

It has opened up the opportunity to talk to my own children about circ, though. My dd is 8 and my ds is 5, and they like to take a bath with their little cousins. They've both asked about why their penises look different. I tell them the truth. They're shocked that parents would allow a doctor to do that to their baby.

That said, I would have a heart-to-heart talk with your sister and express your concerns about her partner's blackmail. She'll really need your support if (and I think it's a good possibility) things fall apart with him in the future. I'd straight out ask her how she would feel if he jumped ship and she'd done something to hurt her baby because of him.
post #28 of 30
Your sister needs you!!! She's being emotionally abused, and thats a terrible thing. I suggest you let her know that anytime, day or night, she can come to you if she needs to run.

And, if her bf is being successful at controlling and manipulating her, he will stick around. She's going to have to be really strong to get away from him. She can do it, its been done (I've done it) but its really hard - and without family support I probably would have lost my son (luckily for me, circ wasn't something my ex chose to be controlling about, and my son is intact). Circumcised nephew or not, your sister needs you right now. Do not argue about this with her!! Instead be as supportive as you can.
post #29 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by thyra View Post
Your sister needs you!!! She's being emotionally abused, and thats a terrible thing. I suggest you let her know that anytime, day or night, she can come to you if she needs to run.

And, if her bf is being successful at controlling and manipulating her, he will stick around. She's going to have to be really strong to get away from him. She can do it, its been done (I've done it) but its really hard - and without family support I probably would have lost my son (luckily for me, circ wasn't something my ex chose to be controlling about, and my son is intact). Circumcised nephew or not, your sister needs you right now. Do not argue about this with her!! Instead be as supportive as you can.
Ditto above, minus the personal experience. As terrible as circumcision is for your nephew, the best way to help him right now is to help her. If/when she's ready, help her.
post #30 of 30
While agree that this probably isn't a very healthy relationship for your sister to be in, what about sending the Penn and Teller Bullsh.. circumcision video for the boyfriend to watch? Maybe that episode might change his mind.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Understanding Circumcision
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Understanding Circumcision › I think I'm going to vomit- my sister is going to circumcise my nephew