or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Spirituality › I feel like I just want to give up on religion all together *updated see post 42*
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I feel like I just want to give up on religion all together *updated see post 42* - Page 2

post #21 of 49
Thread Starter 
Thanks

I'm feeling a lot better now. I don't have it all figured out, but I feel ok with that at the moment. I had some good talks with dh where I figured some things out that I don't want to go into online. But I'm feeling better about just being ok where I am and doing what feels good right now without worrying about where it ends up.
post #22 of 49
that's cool.

Dh and I were also talking about this last night (before and after seeing How To Train Your Dragon--which we both really loved). we had a good giggle too.

Our giggle was about our community. we are rather liberal. we have people whose ear lobes are stretched very far and have many piercings and tattoos, and friends who are the picture of Ralph Lauren. we have friends who are avid pagans, and others who are staunch christians. we have friends who are objectivists, and others who visit with UFOs and channel beings. we have friends in the middle of all of these things, as well as misfits, outcasts, and weirdos.

And we always invite all of them to the same parties.

we laughed because we don't think about not doing that. of course our RL friends should be with our tattoed friends. Our pagan friends should dine right next to those christians. the misfits add to the mix!

and who are we, really? oh, what a question. what are we to them?

at the end of the day, we like each other. we have fun. we care about each other. and we form that community.

and it is spiritual--for me at least. i belong, with a whole bunch of people who belong and do not belong. it's good.
post #23 of 49
Something that struck me about your post is that you are so lucky that you grew up without religion. You have a fresh slate without anything from your formative years haunting you.

I have major baggage and issues that are limiting me in my personal quest. I hope to raise my boys in an open home so that they can find their own path rather than be herded by the masses in one direction.

Goodluck on your journey!
post #24 of 49
Thread Starter 
Honestly I do not feel lucky having grown up with nothing. I have baggage from it too. As witnessed by this thread. and many others over the years. I guess there is no perfect situation for everyone.
post #25 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
I'm sooooooo frustrated right now. I just want to throw in the towel on religion completely.

I grew up without religion at home, but I have been on a spiritual quest for as long as I can remember. But I can never seem to make it work. I don't know if it's that I just suck and have no ability to commit to anything or if it's just that I hate limiting my options.

The second I start to feel at home and comfortable spiritually I'm drawn in a whole other direction. I am a classic Gemini constantly thinking, always wanting to talk, able to argue both sides of an argument even if I don't even believe the other side. I never manage to truly believe anything for very long. At the moment when I believe something, I truly do but I can't maintain it because there is always another side to consider and then I run with that. I can't turn it off. I'm ready to just give up.


I'm a Christian.

For me it has come down to love.

What Jesus called the two greatest commandments, love God, love others.

Then there is that bit about faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.

And I am a huge hypocrite. This business of loving is hard, at least it is for me.

I am often confused about God.

And other people can be so annoying.

But I truly believe God loves us and I am trying to be loving.
It's hard.



Don't know if that opens up options for you, but reducing it to those terms has helped me.

I tend to waffle. I see a million shades of gray.

But I do believe that it all comes down to love.

( And then we can argue what love means or what being loving means...and how that plays out for each individual...I don't know. I just do the best I can.)

P.S. You do not suck.
post #26 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinybutterfly View Post


But I do believe that it all comes down to love.
Beautiful post, tiny butterfly! It's so true - it's all about love, in the end. I recall reading a biography about Italian filmmaker Roberto Rossellini (his daughter Isabella wrote the book). And he essentially said the same thing ... I think he said something like, "in the end, all I know is love". I am likely butchering the quote. I believe the sentiment is the same.
post #27 of 49
Try a UU (Unitarian Universalist) church if there is one near you!
post #28 of 49
Is it a church you need to belong to? Or do you just not know what to believe? I guess those are the questions I'd ask first. If it's a church you're looking for try the UU church like others have mentioned, if it's what to believe then that starts with looking inside yourself. While doing that try to ditch every last thing you ever saw on paper regarding religion and spirituality. There is thousands of years of different beliefs and conflicting points of view out there in print.
post #29 of 49
I'm sorry you are struggling Arduinna. Have you spoken with your priest about your thoughts? You have a great mind, always asking really provoking and interesting questions. I'm guessing you've spent a lot of time over at CA in the Apologetics forum already? Hang in there. Maybe if you just focus on Adoration rather than understanding that would help? I know that sounds a little counter-productive since it sounds like you have moved on from Catholicism/Orthodoxy (was it the filioque issue that pushed you over the edge?) but I have had my best "break throughs" when I've just sat in Adoration, quieted my mind and listened. Not that understanding isn't crucial and important but that it isn't the entire enchilada. Some of the greatest minds in history struggled with the same questions.

I think reading Thomas Merton might help you. He struggled a lot towards the end of his life and I believe sort of settled into a variation of Catholicism that included some eastern religious ideas as well. I know that many Catholics think he is a heretic but he was a prolific writer and pondered many of the most pressing spiritual questions that most Christians face at some point or another. I've never really bought into the idea that God wants blind obedience, we have an intricate brain and thinking abilities for a reason.

post #30 of 49
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the replies. I'm really sick right now, grumble grumble caught something at family function and was up last night till 5 am, so my brain can't tackle any hard questions right now. I'll reread and ponder when I'm feeling better.
post #31 of 49
If you are still headed in the direction of Christianity, my first piece of advice would be to stop trying to find "religion" and just start seeking God. It does not take a certain type of building to find God. Do you have a bible? I would open it up and start reading. And if it is a church community you are seeking, I would suggest finding a non-denominational community type church. At my non-denom church, you will find people who grew up baptist, catholic, lutheran, episcopalian, etc. It's not at all about the religion of it all, it's about a bunch of people seeking after God. It is so easy to get bogged down by religions and denominations when you can nit pick at how each of them differ. IME, non-denoms are bare bones, tell me about God and tell me about the bible.

Good luck on your journey
post #32 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
I'm sooooooo frustrated right now. I just want to throw in the towel on religion completely.

I grew up without religion at home, but I have been on a spiritual quest for as long as I can remember. But I can never seem to make it work. I don't know if it's that I just suck and have no ability to commit to anything or if it's just that I hate limiting my options.

The second I start to feel at home and comfortable spiritually I'm drawn in a whole other direction. I am a classic Gemini constantly thinking, always wanting to talk, able to argue both sides of an argument even if I don't even believe the other side. I never manage to truly believe anything for very long. At the moment when I believe something, I truly do but I can't maintain it because there is always another side to consider and then I run with that. I can't turn it off. I'm ready to just give up.


Be where you are at Ard. It is okay. It is good to be honest about where our hearts are.
post #33 of 49
Thread Starter 
I've been thinking about everyones posts, and I talked some more with dh. I agree that I should give myself a break in trying to make every religious truth make sense and focus on connecting with God and just being. So I'm going to go back to Church and just be while I'm there.

I'm still really sick ( it starting to move into my lungs so I'm hoping it doesn't turn into pnumonia) so I can't go to Easter service tonight which I'm really bummed about because I was looking forward to finally experiencing it. Crossing my fingers I don't give it to dh.

In the meantime I'm going to read the Bible.
post #34 of 49
IIRC, you were looking at converting to RCC? If so, there are a lot of theologically heavy beliefs that can be hard to wrap your head around, so don't beat yourself up about it. My SIL and her husband just converted last night and were telling me about a man in their class who will be going through RCIA for the third year. He's a scientist and just has a very hard time with some of the theology, but I admire his persistence in continuing and his honesty in saying "i'm not ready yet."

Prayers and s for you.
post #35 of 49
Thread Starter 
Thanks cherrybomb, yes I think I understand a theological teaching and then something happens and I no longer get it at all. It's been one step forward two steps back.
post #36 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
Thanks cherrybomb, yes I think I understand a theological teaching and then something happens and I no longer get it at all. It's been one step forward two steps back.
I was in RCIA with a man who was in his 5th or 6th round and he still wasn't ready. I agree with CB, it is good to take your time. I think Sister Rosalind Moss (great conversion in adulthood story) also took almost a decade to officially convert and now she is Mother in a new religious community forming in St.Louis!

Happy Easter Arduinna - I thought about you during Mass today!
post #37 of 49
Thread Starter 
Thanks Charbeau
post #38 of 49
One thing I wonder is if you have found the - I guess I'll say the method that is most important for you in your connection to God?

I think we all connect through different parts of our humanity - some through the senses come to the Divine, some have an emotional connection. Some people are mystics, some (like me) connect through reason. We all have all of these facilities and need to learn to use them, but one or two are usually stronger than the others.

But sometimes we don't seem to supply what is needed for us to make spiritual progress. We might rely to heavily on our dominant method and neglect the others. Or in some cases we even neglect the dominant one if we have never had the support to learn to use it well.

So I am thinking - when you try out a religious path, what does that mean? Prayer, emotional investment, physical or mental disciplines, study (and what kind of study?) Perhaps a different approach might give you more to explore.

On a totally different note, religion is a bit like being in love. At the beginning, hormones keep it interesting. But eventually you will have dry or difficult times, when you have to decide to maintain the relationship, even though it may feel like a chore, or simply uninspiring. And there is value added just by that commitment itself .
post #39 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluegoat View Post
One thing I wonder is if you have found the - I guess I'll say the method that is most important for you in your connection to God?

I think we all connect through different parts of our humanity - some through the senses come to the Divine, some have an emotional connection. Some people are mystics, some (like me) connect through reason. We all have all of these facilities and need to learn to use them, but one or two are usually stronger than the others.

But sometimes we don't seem to supply what is needed for us to make spiritual progress. We might rely to heavily on our dominant method and neglect the others. Or in some cases we even neglect the dominant one if we have never had the support to learn to use it well.

So I am thinking - when you try out a religious path, what does that mean? Prayer, emotional investment, physical or mental disciplines, study (and what kind of study?) Perhaps a different approach might give you more to explore.

On a totally different note, religion is a bit like being in love. At the beginning, hormones keep it interesting. But eventually you will have dry or difficult times, when you have to decide to maintain the relationship, even though it may feel like a chore, or simply uninspiring. And there is value added just by that commitment itself .
Wow Bluegoat. This is a seriously good post. As someone who is constantly going back and forth between, "Yay, I found it, this is it!" and, "Oh who the hell knows, I can't do this religion thing!" you have given me some food for thought.
post #40 of 49
Arduinna, I am so there right now. I don't feel LDS at all anymore but I am still Mormon in my faith. Still I feel drawn to other paths at the same time. It's difficult. I am starting to really feel organized religion is overrated. A good thing, yes. It's great to have community but it seems that that's what folks hang their hat on, you know? To me being with God is like being with my husband- I don't want to have sex with my husband where all eyes can see and I don't want to be with God where all eyes can see. It's no one's business but mine and the Lords and it feels like organized religion requires you to put your faith on display- not only that but jump through hoops to prove your worth. It's too much for me right now. I feel love for God and Christ more than ever right now and feel so strong in my faith but I also feel so lost and like I am all alone in the world. There is always a point (if not many) in my day where I just want to yell "what's the point?!"

Ok sorry that became so mememememe. Just wanted to say you aren't alone and thanks for posting this!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Spirituality
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Spirituality › I feel like I just want to give up on religion all together *updated see post 42*