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I feel like I just want to give up on religion all together *updated see post 42* - Page 3

post #41 of 49
"It's no one's business but mine and the Lords and it feels like organized religion requires you to put your faith on display- not only that but jump through hoops to prove your worth. It's too much for me right now. I feel love for God and Christ more than ever right now and feel so strong in my faith but I also feel so lost and like I am all alone in the world."

Hi Mag,

Just want to say that I feel the same. I feel very strong, yet very alone and it makes me wonder if I'm not so strong afterall. So you're not alone either.
post #42 of 49
Thread Starter 
Ok I had a little epiphany. I was rereading Called Out of Darkness by Anne Rice, about her return to Catholicism and found these quote quite helpful and enlightening.


Quote:
I think I can safely say I never put my dilemma before God. I never knelt down before Him and said, “Please help me with this.” I failed to perceive Him as a source of creative solutions to one’s personal problems. I failed to see Him as a Person of Infinite Compassion. My religious mind was an authoritarian mind, and once I found myself at odds with God, I couldn’t speak to Him. I couldn’t question Him. Instead I made decisions about Him. And they amounted to rejection of His existence, and a determination to face the world with a new courage which seemed right.
This is true for me too.

And on how she managed to come back to the church after 38 years

Quote:
In the moment of surrender, I let go of all the theological or social questions which had kept me from Him for countless years. I simply let them go. There was the sense, profound and wordless, that if He knew everything I did not have to know everything, and that, in seeking to know everything, I’d been, all of my life, missing the entire point. No social paradox, no historic disaster, no hideous record of injustice or misery should keep me from Him. No question of Scriptural integrity, no torment over the fate of this or that atheist or gay friend, no worry for those condemned and ostracized by my church or any other church should stand between me and Him. The reason? It was magnificently simple: He knew how or why everything happened; He knew the disposition of every single soul. He wasn’t going to let anything happen by accident! Nobody was going to go to Hell by mistake. This was His world, all this! He had complete control of it; His justice, His mercy—were not our justice or our mercy. What folly to even imagine such a thing. I didn’t have to know how He was going to save the un-lettered and the unbaptized, or how He would redeem the conscientious heathen who had never spoken His name. I didn’t have to know how my gay friends would find their way to Redemption; or how my hardworking secular humanist friends could or would receive the power of His Saving Grace. I didn’t have to know why good people suffered agony or died in pain. He knew. And it was His knowing that overwhelmed me, His knowing that became completely real to me, His knowing that became the warp and woof of the Universe which He had made.
So profound. I don't even know what else to say, but these two parts are a real help to me.
post #43 of 49
I feel for you! I go through this too. I can argue anything from any side! but then I end up depressed.
that's when I realize I need to be seeking God instead of a religion. if I find a religion on the way so be it! Generally when your eyes are on finding God you end up where you are supposed to be.

(I realize this isn't as simple as it sounds especially if you are looking into faiths that don't believe in one God - but i suppose you could think of it as "truth" instead? I'm not sure b/c I have always believed in God regardless)
post #44 of 49
Those are some very profound words.
post #45 of 49
"that's when I realize I need to be seeking God instead of a religion. if I find a religion on the way so be it! Generally when your eyes are on finding God you end up where you are supposed to be."
--------------------
That's the point I came to as well. In 6 months I went from searching through Roman/Norse/Sumerian gods/godesses and various pagan/meditation ideas to the unfortunate point of being face to face with Jesus, as described in the New Testament, who stated that He was also the great I AM of the Old Testament. I say unfortunate because prior to that 6 month search I had completely written of anything to do with Christianity. After agreeing with myself that I would at least give it a try and see what happened, it came to be that this is the way I have found a closeness with God that I've never had before, and has increased over the years.
post #46 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Those are some very profound words.

I know, they leave me completely speechless. Just reading them brings tears to my eyes.
post #47 of 49
I might have to read that book, I can identify a lot with that as well. Very moving.

post #48 of 49
Thread Starter 
Thanks Cherry Bomb.

I feel so relieved just reading them, like that I can let all the questions go unanswered and it will be ok now.
post #49 of 49
Thanks for sharing that, Arduinna. I know I'll be chewing on that for a while.
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