40+ TTC Blossoming Baby Bellies! watching our BFP list grow - Page 8

[jenjersnap]

Thanks for responding to me, WaturMama. Funny that you mention TCM as DH and I were just discussing returning to the acupuncture and TCM combo I did for about 6 months. I stopped after I had to take a doctor-ordered TTC break (2 D&Cs in 5 months so needed some time to heal), but I think I will resume for this last push we're making. It is so expensive, but we'll figure it out.

My frustration stems from the fact that, though I am M/C-prone (unexplained), I used to get PG easily ... now that is no longer true so a sticky bean seems even more unlikely.

I hope you are feeling well, I mean, not too well, LOL, just very PG!

[WaturMama]

jenjersnap, I think you have lots of company here in folks that got pg easier earlier. We got pg w/ds the first time we tried when I was 37. Some of these same folks from our group have babies now, so it really is possible. (I know you know that, but real examples are so nice.)

Funny about the TCM topic timing and your check with me. I have felt really nauseous today and uncomfortable boobs. So yes, feeling very well.

[MamaDee4]

jenjersnap,

I am right there with you about getting pregnant easier earlier. And while I do think overall, it's a normal part of getting older (not sure how old you are, but I'm 43) but also it happens even to those of us who others would consider VERY fertile in our younger days.

I have six kids. Strangely our first took us years to conceive. Some of it was that I didn't know as much about charting as I do know, part lifestyle (bad eating habits, more drinking, etc), part I don't know what. I was even on Clomid for a stint. But after our first, once I got ppaf, I got pregnant within 4 months every single time. I do realize how extremely blessed I am.

Now at almost 44.....not so much. (still blessed, of course, just not as lucky in ttc!) It took me longer to get ppaf, even though I had the symptoms of ppaf for month prior. And now I am on cycle 8 of trying, with one m/c in February. It's strangely disconcerting b/c I fear it's the beginning of the end of my fertility in general.

I am just hoping God will say yes to one more before that happens.......even if it takes awhile.

Good luck to you!

Dee

[beachlover]

Hey Dee, I think I know you from the ivillage TTC while nursing board. .

What you wrote rings true for me too. I've always been blessed to conceive very easily. From baby number 1 to baby number 9 and also 4 others that ended in loss.

This round of PPAF coming back was weird. It started back before around when he was 8 months, but I'd ovulate and then 3-4 days later get AF, which would consist of spotting. If I hadn't had the signs of ovulation I'd have wondered what the spotting was all about. My cycles were 40-50 days apart too.

Then finally the end of June when he was 13 months and we were on our BIG,(read expensive) family vacation she showed and showed in a grand way.

I still only had a LP of maybe 8-9 days, but the length between cycles was more normal with me ovulating around day 20. I finally started the B complex and lengthened it to about 12 days but had weird pre-AF spotting. I finally got one perfect cycle with ovulation on day 14 followed by a 14 day LP and the very next month I was pregnant, but I lost the baby at 9 weeks, at the end of March.

Now I've got my first post m/c AF. I started with spotting for 4 days and then suddenly the flood gates opened and I honestly have not bled this much since I had a PP hemmorage. It was/still is horrible.

I know most just think we should be grateful for the blessings we have and move on, but I so want to have one more child. Honestly, I never in a million years thought I'd be actually TTC at nearly 44, but here I am. Praying fervently for God's blessing of a child, one more time.

Anyways, I know this is long, but I figured we are sort of in the same boat, with age and having large families and many just not understanding how much it still hurts to see AF every month or to suffer a loss.

Good Luck to you..

[contactmaya]

just an update...really boring. Cycle day 9, and getting more cm than i anticipated. Hope i dont ovulate too early, was expecting to this coming Tuesday (cycle day 15) but might be earlier.... lucky i bought all those cheap OKPs online.


Anyway, i have been meaning to post philosophical meanderings on the being 43 (or older, or at least over 40), and ttc.

Sigh...when i started on this journey back when i was 37, i thought i was catching the last egg. I conceived easily since then both times, and now have 2 boys under 5. The 2nd time, i was 40, breastfeeding full time, and conceived on my first try. The odds were only 1% i was told, and that was if a woman wasnt breastfeeding.

I never thought i would be in this age group and ttc. But adding a third child to our family seems like the greatest idea on the planet.

Just wondering how people on this list process all of this. I mean, do you prepare yourselves for the possibility of down syndrome? Or other so called age related risks?

I mean, each time in the past, ive had to contemplate that, and i didnt get an amnio, knowing i wouldnt abort anyway, but definitely breathed a sigh of relief when the ultrasound came back 'normal'.

On the other hand, i dont feel '43' so to speak. I mean, i dont feel middle aged, i feel the same, not really older. Just more tired because my energy goes into taking care of my kids. I dont get to do the things i used to do. My life revolves around them.

But i dont feel old.

I dont know, 43 feels like the new 28....know what i mean?

Just wanted to put my badly formed thoughts out there (there was a whole lot more i had to say, but ive forgotten it... :-)


Maya

[jenjersnap]

MamaDee4, I hope God says yes to you once more too. That sounds exactly like my prayer too.

I think I went into this with false confidence since I had the example of my MIL who conceived my DH at 44. She died last summer (a really tragic story, an accident at her and FIL's 60th anniversary family reunion. :-( ) and I think of her as our little unborn soul's personal angel, shepherding him or her into being.

[Sneezykids]

<I never thought i would be in this age group and ttc. But adding a third child to our family seems like the greatest idea on the planet.>

Same here ^ I am 40 and TTC our 3rd when our youngest is 8! I don't know...we have been busy and my dh wasn't on board fully until just recently..

40...is the new 30!

[mentalgiant]

Waturmam you have a good memory. I did post on the last thread about how I went to the drs and even though all my numbers are okay he pretty much told me I was not going to get pregnant based on nothing else than my age. Ugh..I get angry just thinking about it...

Anyway my age is 43..which is the new 33! : )

[nolonger]

<I never thought i would be in this age group and ttc. But adding a third child to our family seems like the greatest idea on the planet.>

Me either. I expected to be done at 35, not still trying at 45. Statistically I have a much greater chance of having a kid without Downs than with if I should conceive and carry to term again (not going to happen this cycle) but I also think that what i bring to parenthood would make me a better parent to a special needs kid than i would have been 20 years ago and I would also be better prepared to love, grieve, and remember an early loss.

Ironically, one of the reasons for my self-imposed "deadline" was a particular physical game I enjoyed with my older kids that i have no difficulty at all playing with little ds. I think I was needlessly afraid of being an "older" mother when what i actually feared was being a sedentary, out-of-shape, sleep deprived, malnourished, caffeine and nicotine addicted mother, all of which I had the power to correct as those habits took a toll on my body and my ability to enjoy life.

I am not willing to let ttc become a dark cloud of sadness that overshadows the joy i feel in raising the little boy i have, but I have absolutely no fear of completing my "second family" at an age that I once (and many who are reading this post may still) consider pathetic and ridiculous.

If 40 is the new 30 then 45 must be the new 35.

kbhlmh, we posted together on FF back in October, but you knew me as Eternal Optimist. I'm glad to reconnect here.

Ms GB, I hope to hear from you soon, whatever you have decided about the FET this cycle.

As for doctors, I am done with them; they told me that Terran was impossible, but they were wrong.

[MamaDee4]

When I think back to my attitudes in my teens and early 20's I shudder. I used to think moms with lots of kids were nuts. I also thought that having a baby when you were "old" (I probably thought over 40, don't remember) was irresponsible. I was pretty ignorant.

Now, here I am with 6 kids, trying for another at 44 in May.

I don't think too much about Downs, other than I know my odds are higher. I believe God gives these kids to certain parents for a reason. They can enrich the lives of all around them, truly.

I figure if God picks me, he thinks I can handle it. And there is a reason I maybe never understand.

But the possibility doesn't frighten me. I don't have the tests either, other than an ultrasound. I figure I wouldn't do anything about it, why know? I do think some people might want to know to prepare themselves. That's certainly valid, too.

I'd just be so grateful for another miracle.....it really wouldn't matter.

Dee

[WaturMama]

Hi all,

I just got word that my HCG beta numbers "look fine" They were 522 at 18dpo and 911 at 20 dpo if that means anything to anyone. When I listened to the message my heart was pounding. I guess I'm still trying to calm down, but I don't feel as relieved as I thought I would. The message just said the numbers were fine. When I called back to get the exact number my regular nurse was out. I talked to another one who was not as friendly and chatty. She said the doctor had looked at the numbers and they "looked fine, but we take things one step at a time." I think a little more reassurance than that would have helped nervous moi. But! yayyayyay that they are fine and I'll keeping .

mentalgiant, I'm glad to hear I have a good memory. I must definitely be the "new 33" .

oh, jenjersnap, how heartbreaking about your MIL, but very sweet to think of the little soul calling your heart have her own shepherding angel.

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by WaturMama

Hi all,

I just got word that my HCG beta numbers "look fine" They were 522 at 18dpo and 911 at 20 dpo if that means anything to anyone.

I didn't have betas done with Terran (he was UC/UP all the way) but I do know that the numbers are supposed to more or less double so it sure looks like you've got yourself a nice, healthy, sticky little bean.



I kept temping for awhile and also peeing on dollar tree HPTs and watching the line get darker.

Conceiving him wasn't easy, but the pregnancy was thoroughly uneventful with no spotting and no scares of any kind. It really was the easiest and most rewarding pregnancy and birth of my life. Don't let the doctors scare you.

[saoirse2007]

watermama

as for 40.....
I feel old right now ...i remember 30....
dd is 8 mos old and i feel 50

soooooo tired

but i still want to have more babies

[LitMama]

Hi everyone! Just back from being out of town and away from the web for a while.

Welcome, Sneezykids/Kelli!

Shy, I am so so sorry. How heartbreaking. I hope you can find some comfort and support here.

Jenjersnap, sorry to hear that you're feeling discouraged, and sorry to hear the sad story about your MIL. I hear you saying you've tried TCM and acupuncture before but feel it's possibly too spendy. Have you considered trying sliding-scale community acupuncture? That's what I do, and it really makes it affordable ($15-$35 per session). At a community acu center, it's their *mission* to make it affordable enough for anyone to be able to have acu often enough and long enough for it to be effective. I don't know where you are in CO, but I see there are clinics in Boulder and Denver:

http://www.communityacupuncturenetwork.org/

WaturMama, yargh, that attitude that some MDs/nurses have drives me batty! You really nailed it when you said something about our (as charting women) not being *trusted* to accurately observe and record our own cycles. I don't understand how observing our LMP is more trustworthy than observing our O-date using multiple indicators. Is it simply a bias against FAM? Anyway, kudos to you for having the grace to transcend that tension and continue working positively with your practitioners. I hope the U/S is accurate enough to prove your point!! And, your HCG betas sound GREAT! Yay!

I love the whole discussion about age. I echo Maya's and others' feelings about not feeling old. I really feel like the same person I was at 32, only much wiser and infinitely better prepared to mother a new soul. And, noordinaryspider and mentalgiant, as for the numbers -- I'm with you on simply disregarding those stats that say conception is impossible at our age. We're here with our BFPs and babes to prove it. I always think of those numbers as being in the aggregate, not applicable at the individual level. And I'm an individual.

[LitMama]

Quick AFM update:

I'm either 4DPO or 5DPO depending upon whether I go with my gut feeling or FF's idea about when I O'd. I really think I O'd on Monday, CD11 (doubled over with O pain), and I honestly think my chart supports that, but FF insists I O'd on CD12.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/29e584

I'm also hoping I'm right because it would make our BD timing just a tad better!

So, I was cleared by my neurologist to get pg, phew! No danger of an aneurysm. My U/S on Monday showed that I had a "textbook perfect" (although retroverted, but I knew that) uterus with no polyps or cysts. It also showed that I was ovulating pretty much right at that moment! I had a "nice, fluffy endometrium" and 9 antral follicles total, which my RE told me is higher than the average of 4-8 for my age group (although I understand that's still a "diminished" number).

DH and I were overjoyed that everything looks healthy. Curiously enough, though, my RE was not so encouraged. He apparently was hoping to find something that could explain my recurrent losses and that could be fixed via surgery. So now I have unexplained m/c's. DH was irked at his negative take on this... now he gets to see why I am so often irritated with MDs.

I did start using my Endometrin suppositories, despite the fact that both my RE and my TCM practitioner believe I don't really need 'em. But since I already paid $80 for them, I figure, why not? So far, I just have boobs that are slightly more sore than usual, but that's it for side effects.

I was out of town Tue-Fri last week, sharing a hotel room with two colleagues -- thank goodness they were both moms who had charted so they were very understanding hearing the beeping of my thermometer each morning! LOL! I couldn't decide which timezone to use on my chart, so I stuck with my home timezone, because I figured my body was still there.

So that's me in a nutshell. This month I feel a little more laid back, and am hoping this feeling will stick and I'll be able to resist the siren song of the early test.

[LitMama]

Q about progesterone supps

Does anyone know when you are supposed to *stop* using the progesterone supplements? When you get a BFP or AF? Just realized they didn't tell me.

And... OMG! Forgot to tell you all... my pharmacist had never seen Endometrin before and had no instructions to go with it. When I emailed my RE's nurse for instructions, she told me to start taking it immediately and every day of my cycle. I wrote back telling her I knew progesterone would suppress ovulation, so I shouldn't take it until after I O'd. She then wrote back saying she had more information... that I should start taking it 3-4 days "after your OPK turns color" (she knows I'm charting, but of course disregards this).

Is it really possible that an RE nurse does not know how progesterone suppositories are used?? I saw this as a reminder of the need to do our own research and be our own advocates!

[LitMama]

Last one, I promise!

Okay, one more question for you mamas...

Do you exercise and have sex during the 2ww?

My RE told me to "decrease activity" (don't jog or do anything else that would raise my heart rate) once I get a BFP and for the next 8-10 weeks (he wouldn't really comment on the 2ww). My Gyn, however, says this is nonsense, that exercise cannot cause a m/c. My RE also said that while sex is okay, the uterine contractions caused by orgasm are "best avoided" once I get a BFP and for the next 8-10 weeks. I know this is standard when doing IVF, but is it also standard for non-IVF mamas who are just prone to early m/c?

I feel very conflicted about these two issues, and am just wondering how you all are handling this, especially during the 2ww, before any BFP.

Thanks for your input!

[jenjersnap]

Yay for rising betas, WaturMama, and boo to non-reassuring nurses. Do you think they are being circumspect because you are a little less PG than they believe from your LMP? But those numbers are great for 20 DPO!

I start acupuncture on Wednesday - that feels proactive and right to me. I will be CD10 that day so I hope it won't be too late to help this cycle!

[jenjersnap]

LitMama, I missed all of your posts. That will teach me to start a post, walk away and then submit!

Thanks for the community acupuncture link - I will look into it though I live an hour from both Boulder and Denver. Maybe I will luck out and find something closer!

We have had similar RE results, it sounds like. My U/S results in March were similar, retroverted uterus, good endometrium, but I had only 6 antral follicles which is a bummer, but not end-of-the-line terrible, I guess. I had one borderline result on an acquired clotting disorder a few years ago but it turned out that I was newly PG when I took the test so results aren't trustworthy (besides this clotting problem usually causes IUGR and all my living babies have been over 10 lbs!). So, M/Cs are unexplained. We have decided to discontinue the fertility doctor route because he wanted to go to IUI next. I understand why: he wants to see me PG, but our insurance and finances just won't allow this. He's the only RE in town ... we'll just have to give up the dream if that ends up being our only option. *sigh*

The packet of info my RE gave me said only "light" exercise during the first trimester, specifically mentions no running. He told me, with my history, none would be best. I will gladly keep my feet up if I thought it would help!

I take progesterone right until AF or, if a BFP, until 10-12 weeks.

[halifax40]

Sorry for the lack of personals today, just not up to it at present.

I am supposed to be 11 weeks 2 days today. I started spotting a couple of days ago, barely a tinge at first and then darker and more often over the next day or so, I took it easy, hoping it would pass, but it didn't. Went to the ER this morning and had an U/S, the baby actually stopped developing weeks ago, my body just didn't recognize that and continued growing the placenta and uterus and making me feel pregnant until recently. I am now waiting to miscarry. I have no idea how fast or slow that may be or if it will happen on its own or need help...I hope the spotting means I won't have to wait long.

I am devastated. Our first loss was so hard and then we tried for so long with no luck that I was beginning to believe we would not get another chance, then I saw that BFP in March and as each week passed I finally started to believe that maybe we were finally going to have a baby, but again it has not worked out. I will be 43 in a few more days....I so fear this was our last chance. I imagine I will be back on again, but I think I need a little break to come to terms with losing this pregnancy and try to muster some hope to try again.
Wishing everyone the best of luck!