Child Support Review "conference"

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Hola, mammas...

I got a letter yesterday stating that our child support case is up for review. Since I have no idea what this entails or what the guiedlines are to increase or decrease child support as a child gets older (would age matter? prob not, right?), I was wondering if you would be willing to share your experiences if you had your child support order reviewed.

My anxiety level needs to hear both good and bad. If I know what to expect either way I'll feel more comfortable.

FWIW, since we've been divorced my ex has gotten a promotion and our child's dental insurance has increased slightly...if that has any bearing on anything.
I understand that it can vary from state to state, but just wanted to see what general experiences were.

TIA!!!

[StephandOwen]

Our case is through Michigan and we get a letter asking if we want to review child support every 3 years. The last time we got it I said "yes" and filled out the little form (asking for my financial info). I also wrote a nice little letter explaining circumstances that the form doesn't cover (ds's special needs, costs that go along with that, the fact ex doesn't help with any of it, ds is with me 100% of the time, the fact ex still didn't have health insurance for ds despite a court order for 3 years (now will be 6 years and still no health insurance...) etc). A month or so later I got another letter letting me know of the increase in child support

If nothing else, it may adjust for cost of living though I suspect since your ex got a promotion it would probably increase because of that.

[incorrigible]

When I was in IL it was pretty cut and dry. Child support was only adjusted if I requested it, and I could only do that every 2 years. It was simple enough though. I make the request. The judge orders him to provide his W-2s for the past couple years. He completely ignores the orders. The court expected as much, so they have CPS get a copy from the IRS and provide it to the court. Support was 20% of net (that means he can have work "withhold" a huge portion of his check that he'll get at tax season, thus drastically lowering the child support amount) for one kid, 28% for 2. They put in the order to have the current proper amount taken from his check. The order includes him being ordered to provide insurance, but they don't address the fact he doesn't. They also don't address missed child support payments (clever one, mine was. he got his boss to have him work double hours every other week, so half of his weekly child support payments couldn't be taken from his weekly checks. see how that works?), or other such things. They just look at his current income, do the math, and place an order.

Anyone I've heard talk about this process in other states has said it was a super simple no big deal thing. Don't stress or anything. The only possible negative is your ex lashing out a bit over having to spend more of "his" money to take care of the LO.

[MariesMama]

I just requested a review due to my childcare costs not being included the first time CS was calculated. Ex didn't show up (he moved out of state, hence my insane babysitting cost) and I was awarded 40% of his net income. It was very simple and cut and dried.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Thanks for the replies, ya'll! Yeah, this will be by my request for review too.

Support was 20% of net (that means he can have work "withhold" a huge portion of his check that he'll get at tax season, thus drastically lowering the child support amount)

Ok, this just sucks. I didn't realize he could do that. He's sneaky enough that he probably knows this. Gosh, that scares me. Would they reduce the original decreed amount he went and changed his withholding?!?

I wish they'd just let me fill out the paperwork and send it back, but I have to attend a negotiation conference in a different state.
Not that I'm complaining...at the very least based on pay (we're military so our pay amounts are public record) it should increase...though I'm not sure what tricks he knows about with tax withholdings.

I was worried that it could get reduced in some way. His pay and the cost of dental insurance for DS have both gone up while my pay has stayed the same so surely that wouldn't happen. Right?!

Think my anxiety comes from having to be in the same room with him again and any tricks he might try to pull.

Thanks again!!
I welcome any more stories if anyone else is willing to add!!!

[MariesMama]

As to calculating it based on net, most judges/magistrates will see right through any withholding tricks and will base it on a normal withholding. If his paychecks say "withholding - 9" and it's just him, they're not going to be pleased.

Advice - DO NOT discuss anything about the child support with your ex before the hearing. This will sound petty, but you don't want him to be forewarned about your plans or what you are requesting. My ex assumed that our CS would be lowered because he switched jobs, and I didn't say a word. He gladly faxed in copies of his paychecks since he thought it would work out in his favor. If he'd known, he likely would have thrown every wrench in the works possible.

[incorrigible]

I totally agree about not showing him your cards! This is high stakes (the kids are the stakes) poker, you're playing here. He's the opponent. The judge is the dealer. Nobody but the judge has any reason to ever see your hand!

As for the tricky tricks...he does have to get his place of business to play along. Considering his place of business, I don't think you have much to worry about. If he did pull something like that, I'd probably call his CO directly about it. Not in any official capacity, but because "I know he respects you, and I was hoping you could have a kind of man to man talk with him about his responsibilities" but I have only pulled that kind of stunt as a civilian. I don't know if it would go over as well coming from another military personnel. Tip: Never be afraid to hit below the belt. Someday you might just hit hard enough to knock his brains back up into his skull.