WWYD - toddler and international flight UPDATE in post 17

[bluedaisy]

We will be traveling to Kenya with our 17 1/2 mo dd in May and then I will be coming back alone with her when she will be 20 months (my DH will stay for an additional 3 weeks). She can fly for free on our laps, or we can spend $1100 to buy her a seat.

I'm not too worried about keeping her on our laps when we travel to Kenya, but I'm concerned about coming back with her alone. It will be an 8 hr flight to London, a 4 hr layover, then an 8 hour flight to Kenya.

Reasons to get her a seat:

We can afford it (but just barely)

It will be so much more comfortable for both of us

It would be really hard to eat/sleep/or pretty much do much of anything if she's on my lap.

We could bring her carseat on the plane and she might sleep in the carseat which would enable me to sleep or do other things.

Reasons not to:

We really can just barely afford it. our expenses are going to be tight while we are in Kenya and the $1100 could help us with living expenses and be much more comfortable while we are in Kenya. My dh just graduated from grad school and doesn't have a job yet when we get back, so our financial future is uncertain (although I have a job that provides us with an apartment so we're not too concerned)

Regardless of how miserable it will be, it's still only 16 hours and then it will be over.

I usually can't sleep on planes anyway so regardless of whether she is on my lap or not I probably won't sleep much

She might only sleep on my lap anyway - she nurses to sleep and I could see her waking up when I try to transfer her to her carseat. In the car, she only sleeps in her carseat if she can't see me. If she sees me, I have to bend over the carseat and nurse her - not something I would be comfortable doing on a plane!

I have a mei tei so I could strap her to my chest when she sleeps and still be able to get up/go tot he bathroom etc if I need to and my arms won't fall off from holding her

Keeping her happy in her carseat is hard. we just took a long roadtrip and she asks to get down after 5 or 10 minutes. I'm not sure she would stay in her carseat anyway.

so im concerned we'll spend $1100 and then she'll be on my lap the whole time anyway. but the extra space would be really nice.

WWYD?

[bubbamummy]

I flew alone with my 14 month old from Arizona to London (stopping for 4hrs in Dallas) and I would have lost my mind if I hadnt got him a seat. It allowed him to sit safely in his carseat and play/watch movies and I could read/sleep/eat with out a fussy toddler in my lap for 15hrs. When he slept I was able to go and use the restroom etc. Having the extra room was invaluble IMO. We fly again to England in Aug. with a him (now 2) and a newborn, he will have a seat and the 4 month old will be in sling, the differnce is my husband will be with me so we can swap baby holding.

[mysticmomma]

get the seat! go over to the family safety forum!

[gbailey]

If it were just a few hour plane ride, I'd say do the lap but for such a long trip I think a seat is better for your own comfort and for DC's as well.

[Bea]

After my experience of international flight alone with a 23 month old lap child, I would get the extra seat...preferably in a completely different part of the aircraft

[Dar]

I have only been on one totally full international flight, so I think it's likely that there will be empty seats available... even so, from a safety standpoint I think the effect of using a car seat in an airplane is neglible (see article) and not worth the cost of the ticket or PITA of bring a careseat.

[Dreamy]

I barely survived a four-hour flight with an 8-month old on my lap - I was sooo stiff and sore from holding him while he slept, as is there is so little room for them to stretch out - there's no way I'd take a 16-hour flight without that extra seat.

[tabrizia]

We did India with DS when he was 18 1/2 months old when going over, 19 months coming back. We went over with me, DH, DS, and my in-laws. Coming back was just me, DH and DS. My in-laws paid for the seat, but they did offer us the money instead if we went lap child. I am so so so so so glad we went for the seat.

It made all the difference. It was a 15 hour flight, direct, so we didn't have a layover except in NYC at the beginning and end of the flight. That being said, I was really hoping DS would sleep some on the flight, since he tends to be a good traveler. He slept maybe 2 hours total on the way over and 6 hours on the way back. It was so nice having a seat for him so he had his own space, and place to play/hang out. We did take our car seat, so being in his car seat helped even more, since he had the security of his car seat it kept him contained and happyish, well as happy as could be expected.

Even with 4 adults to 1 child on the way there and 2 adults to 1 child on the way home, we were all really happy with him in his own seat it just made the flight so much easier.

Our flight actually was completely full on the way over, so we won't have been able to get him a seat heading over, it was half empty on the way back, but every seat was in use on the way over. The other parents with babies in arms either had children small enough to go into the bassinets, and who lucky slept most of the flight, or were dealing with squirmy unhappy toddlers, who had no where to sit or be comfortable for the flight.

I know it is a lot of money, but I would and will buy a ticket for any child under 2 we have whenever we travel international, it just makes life so much easier all around.

[ema-adama]

I did an 11 hour flight with a 17 month old, by myself - and I walked 8 1/2 of those hours. Literally, up and down and around. He slept for 2 hours on my lap and I managed to get him to sit for a meal. It was a nightmare, but we got over it. The flight wasn't full, so we had two seats. We just didn't use them.

ETA: I voted 'other' as you know your LO best and have a better chance of guessing whether she will be up walking most of the time/on you most of the time/happy to be in her own seat most of the time. It would be horrid to pay that money and her refuse to be in the seat. It's also worth looking at the hours of the flight.

On the flight to our destination DS slept pretty much the whole flight, as we took off at 11pm. That was the flight DH was with me. The flight back, when I was alone, was a day flight and it was rough.

[mamadelbosque]

If you can afford it, get the other seat. I can't imagine having a squirmy 17 month old on my lap for that long of a flight... sounds like hell!!

[JBaxter]

I wouldnt even do a 1 hr flight with a almost 18 month old. We are flying cross country 2x this summer and mine has his own seat!

[crunchy_mommy]

I would get her the seat but not for the reasons you've mentioned (based on your reasons alone I would NOT get her the seat)... My big reason for having a separate seat is if there was a need for oxygen masks and you were sharing a seat you'd also have to share an oxygen mask... Pretty paranoid I know, not sure if you want to spend $1100 for paranoid reasons

[NicaG]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

I would get her the seat but not for the reasons you've mentioned (based on your reasons alone I would NOT get her the seat)... My big reason for having a separate seat is if there was a need for oxygen masks and you were sharing a seat you'd also have to share an oxygen mask... Pretty paranoid I know, not sure if you want to spend $1100 for paranoid reasons

Actually, I'm pretty sure planes have designated rows where you can sit with a lap child....these rows have extra oxygen masks for that purpose (I was moved on a flight within Germany so I could be in one of these rows with my dd).

I think I would buy the extra seat. Although, if money is really tight, you could make the argument that your dc will just want to walk around the plane most of the time anyway, and could just sleep on your lap. If you had the bulkhead, your dc could play on the floor in front of your seat. Worth calling the airline to see if it's possible to reserve the bulkhead if you're traveling with a lap child. Good luck!

[calpurnia]

I'm stingy. I wouldn't get the seat. What are you going to do with a carseat in Kenya, anyway? (unless you are renting a vehicle, I suppose). We took DD on a 12 hour flight (UK to South Africa) & had her in our laps. Most of the time we walked up & down the aisles, or got her to nap on the breast in my lap. On the way back, there were 2 empty seats in our row anyway.

[JBaxter]

For those of you that are suggesting keeping a lap child What do you do if you have a lot of turbulance or need to eat or do a activity with the tray table ( you cant use the tray table with a lap child there just ISNT room. That would mean no playdoh, video player, paper to write on/color place to put snacks etc

Ive been on some flights where a big chunk of the trip the seatbelt light was on.

[russsk]

I've flown with DS numerous times, both with his own seat and on my lap. An infant on one's lap is manageable (though it's still very difficult to eat) but no way would I take a toddler on my lap. It's totally worth the money.

[bluedaisy]

Hmmm...seems like most people think I should get the seat.

I talked about it with my dh and we're actually leaning towards not getting her one. We have the bulkhead row for at least one of the 8 hour flights, and knowing my daughter she will most likely not sit in the seat anyway. She will probably want to be up walking around most of the flight or in my lap. I hadn't even thought of the oxygen masks, i'm sure they must have some provision for that, i will be sure to ask about it.

We just started thinking about all the other things we could do with $1100 that we wouldn't be able to afford if we got her seat. We could get a netbook to take with us (our main comp is a desktop and I have a 6yr old laptop that is in pretty bad shape) and buy a sewing machine for me to use in Kenya and then donate to someone and we would still have about $600 left to do other things with.

I realize it is going to be a MISERABLE 16 hours but thinking about the other things we can do with the $1100 instead will hopefully help me get through it.

I'll be sending in the payment tomorrow so I still have some time to change my mind...

[starling&diesel]

We're flying to Costa Rica in May with a then 15 month old. We bought her a seat, even though we can't really afford it. I think we'll be much happier, and she can spread out a bit, even though she nurses to sleep and will likely sleep in my arms. I think we'll probably put her cars eat in the cargo hold, because as far as I understand, when they're under two you still need to hold them for take-offs and landings, right? That way we can have the car seat in Costa Rica but have more space on the plane.
(The only reason we're bringing our carseat at all is because we're visiting my uncle there and while he says he's can borrow one, I don't trust that it will be suitable and I'd rather be safe than sorry.)

[russsk]

Originally Posted by starling&diesel

when they're under two you still need to hold them for take-offs and landings, right? .)

Not in my experience. Unless you need to nurse for the baby's comfort or something.

[JBaxter]

My babies were always strapped in for take off and landing. I dont think you will regret getting the seat. Mine have been MUCH better flyers in their car seats. I really hated when Nathan was to big for his carseat on the plane